- 14 years ago
- Wedding: November 2007
Today is my one month anniversary. It’s also 4 days after I told my husband that he either straightens up or he can leave.
A little background: he quit/was fired from his job as an attorney in May (we got engaged in December and were planning a November wedding). He went without employment (refusing to file unemployment) until October, when he got a part-time job at Starbucks; his current "employment" doesn’t even cover his student loan and car payment. I’ve been paying for everything.
He rarely helps around the house, refuses to get a regular job…because he wants to do real estate, even though I’ve begged him not to. (We have no $$ in savings and it’s a horrible market here.) His lack of success at real estate is my fault (so he says), because I’m not giving him the emotional support he needs. Whenever I try to address household or financial issues with him, he shuts down or starts yelling at me. He refuses to get a job.
Although advised by a marriage counselor and our rabbi not to, we went ahead and got married…the idea being that we were so far into the wedding that it would cost more than a divorce. Also, we figured we’d be able to sort things out. We haven’t.
I’ve given him until Dec. 31st to start contributing to the household (I own the house) or I will throw him out. In the meantime, I trying to decide if I should just get the marriage annulled in order to protect my assets. I love him, but right now I don’t think he loves me very much: I’m just a meal-ticket.
Has anyone been through something like this? What did you do?