(Closed) Divorce?? :( Please I need Advice.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 77
895 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

mchitt329 +1

He is just a mean guy hiding putting up a front. I say get out now because I don’t see things improving.

Post # 78
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2015 - Russell\'s Pizza House

According to the type of domestic violence you have experienced you are in a category where you are most likely to die. Being choked is so freaken serious. Do not have contact with this man again if you can avoid it. Women leaving relationships are also at a higher risk. Good luck. 

Post # 79
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@BeachBlossom:  He is NOT a good guy. He is a MANIAC and he is capable of KILLING YOU. What on earth are you waiting for??? Call the police, get a restraining order, get help from family, AND GET OUT OF THIS SITUATION!!!

Post # 80
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

Can you please just call your mom and dad when he’s not around and tell them you want to come home?  Then, leave while he’s at work.  Please stop going back to this guy.  He is an abuser, not a husband.  You’ve not even known him a year, you do not know what he is capable of.  Don’t be afraid to leave him.  Be afraid to stay!  I am worried about you, now that he’s moved you out of state and isolated you from your family.

Post # 81
7642 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@LuluInLove:  You’re joking right? This guy has threatened to kill her. There is NO hope of redemption for his marriage. None, zero, nada, zip, nought.

OP, you ask how to tell him you want to leave: YOU DON’T, YOU JUST LEAVE. Find a safe house and leave immediately. Leave your phone behind and buy a new one.

Post # 82
188 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

@Mrs Canuck’s useful description of the abuse cycle is important. It’s usually visually represented by a circle. That is inaccurate. It’s a spiral. It repeats the same cycle, but escalates, until you die.

I hope you update us from a safe location, but if it hurts you emotionally to even come back to this once you’re free, I would understand.

Does your brother know about this?

Post # 83
380 posts
Helper bee

@BeachBlossom:  Get out. NOW.

My mum was married to my dad for 24 years. On more than one occasion I witnessed him choking her and hurting her. I was no older that 5 the first time. We moved out, he’d “change”, we’d move back in again, repeat. This went on for years before my Mum finally came to her senses.

Don’t turn out like her. Please. xo

Post # 84
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

He’s said that he wants to slit your throat and you still think he’s a good guy? Yeah..good luck with that. 

Post # 85
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 1999

From across the water: PLEASE LEAVE HIM. He will kill you, or seriously hurt you at some point and it feels like soon. He is an abuser and though he may love you in his way he doesnt love you the way you deserve to be loved. If you chuck your phone in a rubbish van or something so he can track that, wipe your internet history EVERY time you do ANYTHING so he has no fodder and leave as soon as is possible. Like now. Don’t tell anyone that knows him or will tell him where you’ve gone and please contact the police. You need them to know so they track him. Please let us know how it goes.

Post # 87
451 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

OP any news?

Post # 88
3697 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I hope you’ve left him.  If you haven’t – do.  When he leaves for work, leave for the police station.  Leave your phone with them and tell them how he’s abused you.  Then head for the airport or train station.  Take a lot of cash with you and don’t use your credit card again once you leave town – borrow money from your parents if you have to.  Have your divorce lawyer contact him and tell him you’re never coming back.

Post # 89
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

1. File a police report

2. Get a prepaid cell phone

3. Move to a safe place while you hire a divorce attorney

4. DO NOT tell him any of this. DO NOT contact him. DO NOT go back. Let the lawyers hash it out.

GET OUT. This man seems dangerous and the experiences you’ve had so far are just the tip of the iceburg.

One more thing —  “nice guy” isn’t usually a descriptive term for someone who threatens to kill you and has been violent toward you.

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