(Closed) Divorced Bees: Did you feel sad when your ex-husband remarried?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 31
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

I was sad. I’m not sure I can explain it. It just meant the END for real. No turning back now. He had told me he was done having children and would never get remarried. Well, it was barely a year after our divorce and he got married to a child (23) and now has a new baby. I’m jealous that the baby gets a full-time dad in her life and our 2 kids only get him 50%.
BUT, I am now able to see him from the outside looking in. I see how abusive he talks to his wife. I hear him yelling at her, and I remember that used to be me. I didn’t see it then, but, I sure do now. I feel sorry for her.

Post # 32
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

View original reply
Baal:  lol same here. Talked to him a year later when I picked up a family heirloom that had been misplaced in the breakup, found out he had already cheated on her too…

Post # 33
Member
179 posts
Blushing bee

Myex isn’t remarried that I know of. Last I heard he was seeing someone. I don’t think I will be sad if he does remarry, but I do still get a little sad when I think about him, becuase for some reason the failure of my first marriage still stings….not the not being with my ex part, but the fact that I made a lifetime commitment and failed. Most of me is glad that its over because I would have stayed orever and been miserable and the logical part of me knows it.

Post # 34
Member
547 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I wonder if part of the reason you’re a little sad is due to the fact that he has gone back on the reasons your marriage ended (wanting his freedom to do his own thing, etc.).  Maybe deep down he didn’t necessarily desire freedom, but instead needed time to mature into understanding what it means to be a responsible adult, parent, etc.  I could see being in that position and thinking “ok wtf…the whole reason we broke up is because you said you wanted X, now you’re doing Y and all along I wanted Y”….and if we had just waited it out, maybe we wouldn’t have had to go through the painful ending of our relationship, divorce, having our child living in two households, etc.

Just a theory…and even if I am way off the mark, I think your feelings are normal! I have been with my husband whom I love dearly for almost 10 years.  I still remember the feeling that happened about 2 years ago when I thought to myself…”I wonder if (ex) and (current Girlfriend are engaged yet?)…poor girl – I hope he asks her soon!”.  It was only then that I realized I had finally closed the door on that relationship.

I’m just sharing my story in hopes that it encourages you to not feel badly about having feelings about your ex moving on.  I don’t think it means that there is anything wrong in your current relationship.  I think people just process things differently and some things take time.

 Edit: JUST realized this is a zombie post….let’s put this one to bed lol

 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 9 months ago by Happy2bMrs.

The topic ‘Divorced Bees: Did you feel sad when your ex-husband remarried?’ is closed to new replies.

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