(Closed) DIVORCED FAMILIES?!

posted 5 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
838 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2008

None

Post # 4
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

who to put on the wedding invite, we went with together with our parents. Who to put in wedding program, instead we are going without one

 

Post # 5
Member
1966 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

None at all. But at my sisters wedding the seating charts were a nightmare. Her husbands parents are divorced & can’t stand the sight of each other. His mother even argued as to which couple should go first down the aisle…. risiculous & petty. Luckily we haven’t had any issues. Fi klepto step sister isn’t invited (he gets mad if I call her his sister lol). She’s super shady & has started fights ar a few family parties. Avoiding the drama by not inviting her. 

Post # 6
Member
384 posts
Helper bee

Its Call ur mother or Call ur father, discuss money issues with the both of them, cant sit next to eachother, my father doesnt want my step father to walk with me, Father daughter dances, both have completely different tastes for wedding. One wants a back yard wedding with a keg and one wants a castle princess wedding. People to invite are not even half of it! UGH!

Post # 8
Member
2457 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

It wasn’t a big deal, apart from making sure they were all accounted for in some way or another. We only included our closest parents on the invitations (even though 1 of them wasn’t contributing). Ended up not feeling bad about it – DH’s dad and stepmom didn’t even show up. 

We had issues with my dad but they had nothing to do with him and my mother being divorced. 

We planned most everything without the parents, so there wasn’t much to worry about. 

Post # 9
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

SO MANY.

How to put names on the invite was the biggest one. My parents have been divoreced for almost 20 years, but my mom still legally has my dad’s last name. He didn’t want her to have his last name on the invites. I suggested she put her maiden name. She cried and didn’t want to have her father’s name on there because she hated him. She is remarried, but hasn’t legally changed her name, so then I suggested her new husband’s name and she didn’t want that either.

Also, they hate each other. Haven’t been in a room together in at least 7 years. So we’ve already fought about photographs–they’re demanding two sets of everything because they refuse to pose in the same photos. (Mostly my mom on this one)

And they refuse to sit at the same table for the rehearsal dinner, etc.

My mom also didn’t want some of my dad’s family invited to the bridal shower!

 

It has just been so much drama. Honestly, for the most part, I’m just doing whatever and they can deal with it. Neither are helping me financially so I feel I definitely have final say, but they’re giving me major headaches!!

Post # 10
Member
983 posts
Busy bee

Being a wedding photographer, a daughter of divorced parents and a divorced mom – when it comes to the kids – adults pretty much know when to act like adults in certain situations.  At least they should.  

  • I’ve never seen issues at weddings I’ve photographed where there were divorced parents of the bride and groom – We were pretty good at keeping things separate for pictures
  • I’ve never had problems with my parents when there were family functions with me and my sister growing up. My parents basically showed up and ignored each other or spoke short sentences and got along, for us
  • I get along with my xDH when I’m around him with the kids.  For the kids sake.  We speak and talk – when needed.  We don’t fight or argue or have anything nasty to say to each other

Basically – in your mind, you fear the worst – in reality, people know when they need to act like an adult and put their differences aside, especially for their kids.

Post # 11
Member
1572 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

No major issues since we’re eloping! My partner and I discussed having just our immediate families at a courthouse wedding or something like that, and I got way too stressed. My parents are divorced and re-married AND do not get along. plus my dad doesn’t like my step dad and my stepdad is awesome. Seriously, I’m so close to my mom and step dad. When we were supposed to have an actual wedding, i had to decide who to ask to walk me down teh aisle. My step dad was sort of wanting to, but also didn’t want to step on my dad’s toes. Then my dad decided he didn’t want to, and my step dad was afraid that my dad’s family would not realize my dad didn’t want to and think my step dad was a jerk. My dad, despite not wanting to be involved, kept trying to tell me what I “had” to do. AWFUL.

Post # 12
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

None!

 

Except the fact that my mom wishes she could contribute more to the wedding, which isn’t necessarily a problem. 😛

 

I put all of my parents’ and my fiance’s parents’ name on the wedding invitation along with “invite you to the wedding of their children” because I didn’t want anyone to feel left out because I knew that financially all the family members and future family members would be contributing to the wedding in some form of fashion.

Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’m not from a divorced family, Darling Husband is.  The only problem we had was pictures.  I had pics of everyone and us, my whole family and us, and then my dad and us.  We had to do the same thing but one with us and his mom and her fam, one with his dad and his dad’s family.  No biggie just a few more minutes taking pics.

Post # 14
Member
437 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Ugh, I’m not married but…

 

My parents are divorced, and Dad doesn’t like mom. Mom was remarried and is now divorced again. Dad is remaried and I hate his wife. Still like my mom’s recent ex though…if I could pick I would invite: Mom, Dad, and ex-step-dad and leave off step-mom!!! But I know that won’t work 🙁

 

SO’s parents are divorced. Mom loathes Dad. Dad has new girlfriend. Mom is still single.

 

It’s going to be battle of the parents at our future wedding…wee. Honestly I get along well with everyone except my step-mom! Same with my SO! Of course I know my Dad would never allow me to not invite her!

 

 

Post # 15
Member
1615 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

jmaze — I have seen plenty of pictures where divorced parents are in same picture.  Many brides will want both their parents in some pictures with them.   I think the key is to let everyone know ahead of time what will be happening.

Post # 16
Hostess
12063 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2014

so far i haven’t had issues but I’ve been engaged about 3 weeks.  I’m worried because my family is riduculous

Dad’s parents = divorced, grandfather is re-married to his assistant who is younger than any of my dad’s siblings and she and my grandmother can’t be in the same room

My Parents = Divorced, My mom is super immature about it all (even though she has been dating my fathers former best friend since about a year after they split) and i know she’ll freak when she finds out we’re inviting my step-mothers parents (who have been incredibly kind to me and my FH in the 4 years since we moved to Ontario, we are invited to all their family events etc)

My FH’s parents think divorce is completely wrong and have an extremely low opinion of my father based on what they know of the situation.  I’ve given up trying to convince them otherwise.

I’m a little worried my wedding will be a shit show but I don’t want to elope. What are families for if not to drive you mental!

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