- 7 years ago
Things are getting ugly between my Future In-Laws. Just to give a little backstory, my FI’s parents are divorced, his dad is remarried and his mom is not. His mom lives out of state.
When we started planning our wedding we thought they were doing really well as far as maturely communicating with each other about what and how they would like to contribute to the wedding.
So my future step-mother-in-law and I occaisionally text because she got my number from my Fiance. I don’t really call, text, or chat with my Future Mother-In-Law unless it’s with my Fiance. I haven’t met Future Mother-In-Law many times because she is out of state but FSMIL lives close so we hang out with them very frequently.
A couple weeks before Thanksgiving FSMIL asked me what our plans were for Christmas, I said we were just planning on going to my parents house (they live 4 hours away) this year, Fiance went out of state last year to see his mom and FSMIL and Future Father-In-Law usually spend christmas with her family. She asked in my family would be open to them coming to Christmas too so everyone could meet and I talked to my family and then agreed to that. FIs work has been insane lately, he has been working 60-70 hours a week and I knew he wouldn’t have time to help plan Christmas so I told FSMIL to make sure her and Future Father-In-Law reached out to Future Mother-In-Law about Christmas, and she said she would, TWICE, she told me she would. She then went on to tell me she wanted to plan a bridal shower for me with my mom.
Future Mother-In-Law came in town for thanksgiving and while we were hanging out (just her, Fiance, and me), I asked her if she decided what she was going to do for Christmas. She said she was just going to stay home in her state this year. So I figured, okay they talked and she will not make it to Christmas because of travel expenses or work schedule.
Fast forward to the day after Christmas. Fiance gets blindsided by a phone call from Future Mother-In-Law who is beyond upset that she did not receive an invite to Christmas. In fact she had no idea FSMIL and Future Father-In-Law were coming until she saw a post by FSMIL on Facebook gushing about how wonderful my family was on Christmas Eve. My jaw dropped, we felt HORRIBLE that this had happened. Worst example of communication EVER. Fiance spent a couple hours on the phone trying to sooth his mom, insisting that he and I would never purposely not invite her to something like this. He then called his dad who basically said that his mom is an adult and needs to suck it up and that they had just felt it would be awkward if she were there! (All while FSMIL is feeding him lines on the other side of the phone) So they just flat out did not tell Future Mother-In-Law about Christmas, after I asked them to, because they thought it would be awkward. Fiance and I have, of course, been kicking ourselves over this, we clearly should not have deligated this communication, Fiance just thought they had been doing so well up to this point and they would be able to sort this out themselves. Dumb, stupid, Ung. Fiance told his dad and stepmom that we want to make sure this does NOT happen for the bridal shower, and that his mom needs to be included.
So to prevent a round 2 of this kind of idiocy Fiance started an email chain and CCed myself, himself, my parents and his parents so that everyone could start communicating about our wedding plans and the upcoming bridal shower. Future Mother-In-Law started off with a very lovely email, introducing herself to my parents. She also mentioned that she really hopes that they can find a date that works for her for the bridal show because her schedule is not flexible at work (She is a college professor), and FSMILs follow up email was basically just her getting defensive about Christmas and saying that she didnt want to step on toes anymore she she was withdrawing herself from planning the bridal shower!! (Okay, well, we might as well not have one then because my mom and Future Mother-In-Law dont even live in out city)
Im just feeling like FSMIL is being so competitive right now and she seems like she’s trying to squash Future Mother-In-Law for no reason. Sorry for the rant, pretty annoyed right now. 🙁