(Closed) Divorced, Now remarried… what to do with the old ring? Poll included

posted 4 years ago in Rings
  • poll: What would you do with the old ring?
    Keep it : (8 votes)
    4 %
    Pawn it : (44 votes)
    24 %
    Save it for your son to use : (98 votes)
    53 %
    Give it back to the ex : (9 votes)
    5 %
    Give it back to his mom, since she bought it : (21 votes)
    11 %
    other? : (6 votes)
    3 %
  • Post # 16
    Member
    701 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    almostmrse2016 :  I kept my first wedding and engagement rings and still wear them (not together) as right hand rings.  I’m not sentimental.  These rings don’t have a special meaning for me.  They are just pretty jewelry that I enjoy.  Luckily, my husband couldn’t care less.  (When we met I was wearing my former engagement ring on my right hand.)

    Post # 17
    Member
    1589 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2017

    almostmrse2016 :  I sold mine, but my ex and I didn’t have children. My Future Sister-In-Law and her ex actually gave both of their wedding rings to their son, which I thought was nice and could work for you too, provided there’s no pressure on the children to use them if they want to redesign the ring or prefer something new.

    If you do sell, be prepared to not get much back. I got a couple hundred dollars for my e-ring and nothing for my wedding band, which in the process of selling, I discovered was actually CZ rather than diamonds. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    207 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2016

    Sell it or make something else out of it

    Post # 19
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2010

    If it were me, I would return it to his mother. If she chooses to save it for your son, then it was meant to be. For me, I felt that my rings represented a very unhealthy relationship, one that I woud not wish for my children to emulate or settle for. I want them to have a fresh start towards healthy relationships. That said, I do have friends who have had amicable divorces, and so to them the rings do not represent such toxicity… in that case I understand that they may still hold a place of pleasant sentimentality. Not so with mine. My daughters and DIL have their own lovely rings.

    Post # 20
    Member
    377 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2018- Stan Hywet Gardens

    Melt it down!

    Post # 21
    Member
    402 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    I am really torn between wanting it and getting it back to his mother. However, I can be irrationally sentimental and I would not want a reminder of a failed marriage around my home, my finger, or my future daughter-in-law’s finger. So, I’m assuming that you know yourself very well and you know exactly how sentimental you are. If keeping the ring will not make you feel bad or guilty consider the option. How would you feel to know your future dil was wearing the wedding ring of your failed marriage? Then, as a mother I would ask yourself how would you feel if you bought your daughter-in-law her wedding ring and the marriage did not work out what would you want your daughter in law to do with the ring?

    This is why I’m torn between giving it back to your mother-in-law or pawning it. I hope you find out what is best for you

    Post # 22
    Member
    1192 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2017

    Sell it and make happy memories with the money.

    Post # 23
    Member
    726 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2019

    Unless your ex or his mother have asked for it, I would keep it for your son. He may not use it, but maybe his daughter would like to have it one day, etc.

    I wear my mom’s wedding band that she wore when she was married to my dad on my right hand every day. They have been divorced since I was three years old but it is nice to have something that reminds me of both of them that I can wear every day 🙂

    If you are talking engagement ring, then your son could even use the diamond one day and have a new setting made if he wanted or something for his future wife, but either way, it is a nice heirloom to keep for your son.

    Post # 24
    Member
    200 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2016

    I would repurpose it. A necklace perhaps? 

    Post # 25
    Member
    2440 posts
    Buzzing bee

    almostmrse2016 :  I personally would not want a ring from a failed marriage, so if I was your son I wouldn’t take it. You could save it for him so he can resell it and spend that money on a new ering, but I wouldn’t expect him to want to use it. 

    If it was me, I’d just pawn it. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    36 posts
    Newbee

    Unless it was very expensive, I’d pawn it or get rid of it. I was only married for three years and looking at the ring just makes me think of he excitement of when we were shopping for it and I picked it out, and how excited I was to wear it… I was more excited about the right and to get engaged than my fiancee. Oh well. Hindsight is 20/20… now, my upgrade I just got a month before I left him, I might keep… it’s worth more but it’s my dream right and it’s a mossanite. Not sure I can pawn it. Still thinking about getting rid of it and when I get engaged in the future just get a new ring then. 

    Post # 27
    Member
    765 posts
    Busy bee

    My mom gave my brother her engagment ring from her first marriage.  (Ex husand was a rich was so the ring was stunning although very 1968 – marquis cut, thick band).  Point is, my brother used it for his now wife.  She loved it though eventually when they have the money they might reset it to something more modern.  

    Pawning it is dumb.  Just no.  Reselling it is only ok IF you have a buyer willing to give you a little under the replacement value which is very hard to do since the secondary market for wedding and engagement rings is low, for obvious reasons.  

    Your best bet is saving it for your son to use.  Even if he resets it he’ll save a fortune.  Or if he doesn’t want it have it reset as a pendant or something you like.  Just please DO NOT pawn it.  

    Post # 28
    Member
    84 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2017

    When my mom and dad divorced, she gave me her ring as a keepsake. I still have it… I am not using it, but I feel like it’s a part of my family’s history.

    Post # 29
    Member
    5573 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I would definitely repurpose it into something fabulous!  If you’re not going to wear it, sell it.

    Post # 30
    Member
    2146 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2017

    my mom gave me hers as did many devorced parents I know, most people I know eithe keep in a jewellery box or wear it on a chain… I think its quite common and I know you have a son rather than a daughter but he might still want it (it the history of how he came to be and a BIG symbol of his life)

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