(Closed) divorced parents.. either way someone is unhappy!

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Ugh tough situation. My husband’s mother is like that, her and my Father-In-Law have been divorced for 11 years, and she still can’t even drive in his neighborhood because “its just too painful”. Ummm yeah, and that makes total sense, since you are the reason for the divorce!!! (she’s an alcoholic, and he gave her so many chances to get well, and she never took any of them, she is still a horrible alcoholic) If it weren’t for her drinking, they would still be together.

Anyway, she is remarried now, and he will be soon. They actually get along pretty well when she isn’t acting like a moron, so thankfully there was no drama (although she missed the formal pics at the hotel even with my mom telling her the time and place like 10 times!).

Sorry, off topic….I think that you should have a serious talk withy our mom, and ask her to please try to be civil for your wedding. I know it hurts, but honestly, it was a long time ago that they were together, and you’re right, your brothers didn’t do anything wrong and they deserve to be at your wedding. Your parents can just steer clear of each other.

Post # 4
Member
192 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I have a somewhat similar situation… My dad is remarried and I don’t particularly want his wife at the wedding. My mom has never met her and, as she broke up my parent’s marriage, has no desire to meet her. However, etiquette pretty much requires couples to be invited together, so my dad’s wife will be coming. It was actually my mom who said she’d need to be invited and that she’d just deal with it.

If your dad wants to bring his wife (and children, if you are inviting them), he’s pretty much allowed. If you want them there, then they should be there. Your mom and siblings can deal with it for a few hours. I would just talk to them and let them know that you’d like your dad and his family there and, while they don’t have to like it, they do have to be polite. Families are so complicated!

Post # 5
Member
46594 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Time for a talk with Mom. I am divorced so feel entitled to tell divorced parents” Get over it!”

At some time you have to move on with your life. This wedding is about you, not your mother or her feelings, or your Dad, or his feelings.

She needs to raise her head up high, be proud of who she is and the job she has done rasing you, be civil in public to your Dad and his family and not do anything to mar your day, including acting like the wounded party.

 

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