(Closed) divorced wording?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I just recently saw on an invite:

Together with her parents

 Brides Name  And Grooms name

Inite you to their wedding (or something similar) 

I think that would be a great way to state it!!

Post # 4
Member
2004 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

If you use "Together with their families…." you will circumvent all the vagaries of who paid what. However, another alternative is this

Mr. John Smith

together with (or "and") Mrs. Elizabeth Stevens (or Elizabeth Smith-Stevens, whatever her current married name is)

request the honor of your prescence

at the marriage of their daughter….

Separating onto two lines means the parties are divorced. Other than putting your dad’s name first (and having his address possibily being the rsvp address, since he’s hosting) I don’t think there’s a tactful way to further deliniate the funding arrangements.

Post # 5
Member
1379 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Together with their parents … (Are his parents helping at all?)

or

The parents of 

Bride’sName

request the honor of your presence 

at her wedding to 

Grooms name

on xx date

 

Good luck! 

 

Post # 6
Member
90 posts
Worker bee

I think "together with their parents" or something like that would work.  My fiance’s parents are also not really giving us anything for the wedding….and they didn’t even have to pay for a rehearsal ’cause we aren’t having one!……but MY mom insisted their names be on there, which I thought was very gracious.  You could also just ask your dad about it.  He may surprise you and say he wants your stepfathers or everyone’s.  Some people are just that gracious.

Post # 7
Member
484 posts
Helper bee

I agree with chelseamorning…"together with" is a great way to list both your parents names and lets everyone know that your dad is footing most of the bill by putting his name first.

If you absolutely want your in-laws names on them, just write "son of…." underneath your Fiance’s.

My sister’s in-laws weren’t listed on her invite and mine probably won’t be either. It’s all personal preference so do what works for you and your family.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Great advice, Chelseamorning — both on the "together with our parents" and the possible alternate wording.  I’m in the same situation as the OP — divorced parents, dad paying the majority, mom helping out, us putting in a big chunk — and figuring out how to word it can definitely be tricky.

mpettengill, my Fiance and I are putting his parents’ names on the invite the same way Habibi suggested — "son of Jack and Jill Smith."  But usually, etiquette rules say that if the groom’s parents aren’t paying, it’s OK if their names aren’t on the invitation.  Do whichever feels most natural to you.

Post # 9
Member
2292 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

You can certainly include the groom’s parents without making it seem as if they are hosting, as Habibi and MelissaB point out.  That’s what we did with DH’s parents – we listed him as "son of…"

Chelseamorning is correct that the traditional wording form would have you say:

Mr. Bride’s Father
and Mrs. Bride’s Mother
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter…

It’s really not that uncommon anymore.  When DH’s daughter gets married, as he and I will undoubtedly foot the bill, the invitation would say something like:

Mr. and Mrs. Suzzano
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his daughter…

If you go to the Crane & Co. website, they have a version for almost every complicated family situation.

 

Post # 11
Member
293 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2008

Generally you only DO list the people who are giving the wedding!  It could very well be a good friend!  

Mr John Smith and Mrs April Jones request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter…

This is covered in EVERY etiquette book!   

 

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