Post # 1
I need some help getting crative with the wording for our invitations. My father is footing most of the bill, though my mother is helping with some of it, as are my fiance and I. His parents have been very clear (even years before we got engaged) that they will not be giving us any help with paying for the wedding. So, i want to make it clear that my father is "hosting" but I also want my mom to be recognized for putting in what she can aford.
NOW the tricky part: My parents are divorced, my mother is remarried. So I can’t put anything like Mr. and Mrs. Parents….. I dont really WANT to include my step-father, only because my dad doesn’t have a someone to put with his name.
AND then do we include his parents names on there somewhere?
Post # 3
I just recently saw on an invite:
Together with her parents
Brides Name And Grooms name
Inite you to their wedding (or something similar)
I think that would be a great way to state it!!
Post # 4
If you use "Together with their families…." you will circumvent all the vagaries of who paid what. However, another alternative is this
Mr. John Smith
together with (or "and") Mrs. Elizabeth Stevens (or Elizabeth Smith-Stevens, whatever her current married name is)
request the honor of your prescence
at the marriage of their daughter….
Separating onto two lines means the parties are divorced. Other than putting your dad’s name first (and having his address possibily being the rsvp address, since he’s hosting) I don’t think there’s a tactful way to further deliniate the funding arrangements.
Post # 5
Together with their parents … (Are his parents helping at all?)
The parents of
request the honor of your presence
at her wedding to
on xx date
Post # 6
I think "together with their parents" or something like that would work. My fiance’s parents are also not really giving us anything for the wedding….and they didn’t even have to pay for a rehearsal ’cause we aren’t having one!……but MY mom insisted their names be on there, which I thought was very gracious. You could also just ask your dad about it. He may surprise you and say he wants your stepfathers or everyone’s. Some people are just that gracious.
Post # 7
I agree with chelseamorning…"together with" is a great way to list both your parents names and lets everyone know that your dad is footing most of the bill by putting his name first.
If you absolutely want your in-laws names on them, just write "son of…." underneath your Fiance’s.
My sister’s in-laws weren’t listed on her invite and mine probably won’t be either. It’s all personal preference so do what works for you and your family.
Post # 8
Great advice, Chelseamorning — both on the "together with our parents" and the possible alternate wording. I’m in the same situation as the OP — divorced parents, dad paying the majority, mom helping out, us putting in a big chunk — and figuring out how to word it can definitely be tricky.
mpettengill, my Fiance and I are putting his parents’ names on the invite the same way Habibi suggested — "son of Jack and Jill Smith." But usually, etiquette rules say that if the groom’s parents aren’t paying, it’s OK if their names aren’t on the invitation. Do whichever feels most natural to you.
Post # 9
You can certainly include the groom’s parents without making it seem as if they are hosting, as Habibi and MelissaB point out. That’s what we did with DH’s parents – we listed him as "son of…"
Chelseamorning is correct that the traditional wording form would have you say:
Mr. Bride’s Father
and Mrs. Bride’s Mother
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of their daughter…
It’s really not that uncommon anymore. When DH’s daughter gets married, as he and I will undoubtedly foot the bill, the invitation would say something like:
Mr. and Mrs. Suzzano
request the honor of your presence at the marriage of his daughter…
If you go to the Crane & Co. website, they have a version for almost every complicated family situation.
Post # 10
thanks guys. I really appreciate all the great ideas! i’m sure we’ll figure something out that will be perfect for our situation!
Post # 11
Generally you only DO list the people who are giving the wedding! It could very well be a good friend!
Mr John Smith and Mrs April Jones request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter…
This is covered in EVERY etiquette book!