Post # 1
My parents’ neighbors across the street divorced less than a year ago. They are still amiable towards each other to the point where the ex-wife still goes over to the ex-husband’s house relatively frequently. The ex-husband still lives across the street from my parents’ and they constantly see the ex-wife’s car over there. They were on our “B ” list. I don’t want to give them +1’s, because of guest list size and budget, but my mom thinks that is totally against etiquette. My mom believes this so strongly that she even stooped to justifying +1’s by saying Aunt X died, so they should get +1’s because now she has an open spot.
I haven’t seen these people in over 2+ years, since I moved out of my parents’ house. I can’t justify it and I don’t want random people at my wedding. Mom said I shouldn’t invite them at all, because they can’t have +1s. Other neighbors will be there, so its not like they won’t know anybody but each other.
Am I being unreasonable? Thoughts?
Post # 3
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
First of all, no one is supposed to get a +1; dates are to be invited by name and issued their own invitation. So as for your mom and etiquette, she’s completely wrong. The only time a date must be invited is if the coupld is married or engaged or lives together.
Maybe you can reach a compromise with your mother and invite them without dates but allow them to bring one if they ask, which hopefully they will have the tact not to do.
Post # 4
Thats a bit of a tough call. I think I would invite them both but not with a plus 1 as they are only divorced 1 year and one or other of them may not exactly be over the split.
Post # 5
@Irish-bride: He cheated on her….does that make a difference in your perspective?
Post # 6
I would treat them like you are treating any other single guests.
Post # 7
@Natalieh86: A-list people got +1s, B-List people aren’t getting guests unless they have been dating for a long time, live together, engaged, or married. Soo…they shouldn’t get guests per what we’re doing for everyone else.
I hate all this guest list drama!
Post # 8
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
If you are inviting both of them, then no, I would not include a plus +. You can tell your Mom that Emily Post, etiquette guru, says-
“Now, you might wonder if there are times when a guest should in fact have a plus one. Brides and grooms should be aware that spouses, fiancé(e)s and live-in romantic partners (no matter the sex) must be invited with your guests; boyfriends and girlfriends who don’t reside together don’t need to be.”
No Significant other? No plus one required.
Post # 9
Do NOT invite them with +1s… in your example, the ex- husband cheated on his wife… I can see this blowing up into a knock down drag out fight between the 2 (a la the Jerry Springer show).
Invite them as single guests and with seperate invites.
Post # 10
We gave plus ones to everyone except for those who are recently separated (including my parents), divorced, or widowed. Unless we know who they are dating. We figured it would be mean to remind them of the end of a recent relationship. And that might cause problems between them if they see the other person with a date.
Post # 11
- Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour
@mrsSonthebeach: I disagee, I’ve certainly but ‘& Guest’ on invites for those not in a serious relationship.
Depends on how you are handling +1’s for other guests I suppose. If you think it will casue drama, skip the guests.
Post # 12
I’m agreeing with the majority on this, a +1 is okay not to give to them. Its also okay if you want to ignore the entire situation by not inviting them!
I hope everything works out and this is the worst scenario you have to deal with, happy wedding planning! 🙂
Post # 13
My mom read up on Emily Post and apologized to me for making a big deal out of something that she was wrong about. No plus ones for the neighbors. Whew!