Post # 1
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
I’m in a bit of a predicament. My parents divorced when I was 18. I’ve always been very close to my mom while my father has been in and out of my life over the past 15 years. I hadn’t talked to my dad for about 3 years until we recently reconnected. Although I still don’t agree with his life choices I’ve decided that life is too short to live without my father and that I need to accept him the way he is.
My dilema now is that I would really like it if my mom walked me down the aisle however tradition states that it’s the father’s job. I think he would be heartbroken and probably wouldn’t even come to the wedding if I picked my mom for the job.
I could have both of them walk me however they are divorced and my mom would like as little contact with him as possible. She will put up with him for my sake however she has a lot of anger buit up towards him do to his choices and how he’s treated me over the years.
Does anyone have any suggestions as to what I should do?
Post # 3
Member
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
@Honu: I sort of know how you feel! No wedding in my immediate future, but I don’t think I would let my dad give me away. My dad is a nice guy! He isn’t a very good parent though. I would have my mom walk me, but he would be shattered.
I think, when the time comes, I will walk alone. I’m an adult. I moved out of mom’s house years ago.
If you want mom next to you, do that. Both wouldn’t be a bad choice either. It isn’t like she would really have to talk to him anyway.
Post # 4
Member
47413 posts
Honey Beekeeper
You could have your Dad walk you halfway down the aisle where he would hand you over to your Mom who would be waiting at that point. She would walk you the rest of the way to the altar.
Post # 5
Member
349 posts
Helper bee
I will be walking my daughter down the aisle. If her father was still alive and for some reason she wanted to include him (unlikely) I would be gracious about it and not ruin her day. I hope your parents can both realize it’s all about celebrating you and your marriage that day, not rehashing their personal differences. Good luck!
Post # 6
Member
539 posts
Busy bee
@Honu: do you think it would mean a lot to your mom? If it would mean a lot to her to be asked to walk you down th aisle, then I think she should. She earned it by being in your life. On the other hand, she might not really care. She would probably appreciate you talking with her and telling her how much she means to you, but some people aren’t all that big on symbolism and such, and she might not care it it means so much more to your father than your mother.
Post # 7
Member
236 posts
Helper bee
I know she wants minimal contact, but it’s not like she needs to spend hours practicing alone with him how to walk you down the aisle. Just explains to her that it means a lot to you that both your parents walk you and she will understand. She is a parent after all and is used to sharing you with him 🙂 I would ask her and gauge her reaction… worst comes to worst, have him pass you off to her halfway down. Best case senario? Walk with both of them 🙂
Post # 8
Member
190 posts
Blushing bee
Thank you for the advice ladies. I think I’m going to walk with my mom at the begining since my father has some mobility issues and have my father join us once we get to the back row of seats. Then they can both give me away?
We are having an outdoor ceremony (so I hope).
Things with my father are always up and down. I can’t depend on him for anything and I never know when he’s going to have a temper tantrum. I just hope he behaves on the big day!
:s
Post # 9
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
My mom walked me down the aisle. They split when I was 2 and my relationship with my father has always been strained. Screw tradition.