- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2013
I have recently decided to end my relationship with my mother. We have never gotten along, ever since I can remember. I am not saying that I am perfect either, but she has recently become unbearble to me. She is seriously depressed, and my younger brother and I both agree that something just is off with her. She is angry, bitter and has been since my father passed away over 10 years ago. She dwells on it and hasn’t been able to get out of the saddness from that. She puts on a good face, is social with her friends, etc. but takes out her problems on her children (well, at least me and my younger sibling for sure). We feel bad for her in some ways– she’s sad so she overeats, she is overweight because she overeats, she has bad knees so she won’t exercise, her mood is poor because of her weight/ lack of exercise, etc.
I could go on, but it really doesn’t paint the picture of the relationship I have with her, but it isn’t a good one.
I have 3 children, 3 girls. I live 2.5 hours away from my mom. I don’t want her coming to visit anymore, I don’t want to talk with her anymore, period. I don’t want my children seeing how she acts, I don’t want them being around us together because we fight… or I feel angry, stressed etc. after being around her. She pulls the most ridiculous stuff, is hurtful, victimizes herself, blames others, etc.
So, I am divorcing her. We end relationships everyday because they aren’t good for us, and I have finally chosen this for myself.
I am getting married next weekend in a private ceremony. She wasnt’ invited anyways because I knew I didn’t want her there for a long time. I am starting a brand new life, and I want it to be as positive as it can be. Unfortunately, that means that it doesn’t include her.
So, Mother’s Day is obviously coming up. I don’t plan to contact her. I have made sure that at least one of my brothers has done something for her so that she isn’t forgotten. I still feel the guilt though, thats the hardest part.
Does anyone have any advice/ experience in parent divorces? I would prefer not to be told that I should just work through it with her. It has been 27 years… at some point, it’s just not worth the emotion, drama, tears, etc.