Post # 32
As long as a huge portion of the population is obese the WIC will be alive and kicking.
It’s a symptom of the same illness in our culture, and is reflected in a hundred other things as well.
The idea that you deserve and should get everything you want. The idea that waste and frivolous spending is bad, but you’ll do things differently tomorrow because today it’s too much fun and people have expectations!
There will always be exceptions. People who have diseases that cause them to be obese and princesses who’s $100k weddings are on their countries dime.
I hope that the DIY craze will cause some people to rethink the choices they’re making and push prices down. I don’t have any real hope that it will change anything in the long run or alter the way people live day to day.
I wish I could have eloped, but since I can’t I’m hoping to keep my costs down, DIY what I sensibly can, and keep the whole day from becoming more about centerpieces, dresses, and frosting than about my Fiance & me, our friends, and our family.
Post # 33
@Sking: I don’t think vendors would go out of business. I think they would come back down to the real price and not the mark up that they choose. Again, why would a limo company charge $600 more for a wedding than a prom for the same amount of hours?
The WIC is going to be alive and well for quite some time as long as women keep believing that they need botox, laser hair removal, the best flowers, hotels, shoes, dresses, makeup, hair, nails, rings, earrings, invites, photography, ect. for “their one special day.”
Post # 34
Exactly! However, sadly the part of the weddings that are the most difficult to DIY (limo, venue, catering) are the ones that continue to charge crazy prices. Our best hope is the florists 🙂
Post # 35
@plantains: “all this talk about Western…” is misleading. That’s why I pointed it out. It makes your first argument rather mute.
And clearly there is no concrete line. But that does not mean we cannot acknowledge that there are several forces competing for our money, and that perhaps the wedding industry should not get as big a chunk of it. No one is arguing that people should spend less on weddings and more on plastic surgery or something, but rather that if you have 30k to spend, you should at least consider donating some of it or investing or whatever. I had a backyard DIY wedding and yes, that did leave me more room in my limited budget to donate to charity, save for a house, pay for school, etc.
Post # 36
@plantains: I did call out the limo company and they told me they would give me the prom price. I don’t want to deal with a company who has a huge markup like that.
Post # 37
@Miss Tattoo: I guess whether they go out of business or not is not really the point. They would have to make adjustments to their business, and some that could not remain profitable with a normal (non-wedding) markup may cease to operate. But my point was that outside of some regulation setting these crazy prices, the market must support them because they are the going rates. As long as the market supports this and people pay it, prices will continue to be high.
Yeah, the limo thing is nuts. Friends that got married last year had a 3-tier rehearsal dinner cake to celebrate a couple bdays and a graduation that was more complicated and customized than the exact same cake the next day for the wedding. But since that was a wedding cake, it was $600-700 more. The excuse? That it would be out for display longer and more people would see it.
Post # 38
@missmouse29: Actually profits are spread out to the entire community in the form of tax revenue. And yes, the 5 families + the many other people that I mentioned make up a sizeable portion of my tiny community. I understood exactly what you meant by privileged re business owners. My comment spoke directly to that point.
And to all re: excess I agree that we can do more to reduce our footprint, but I don’t believe there is anything wrong with wanting to have a big party to celebrate your wedding.
Post # 39
I’m not a that crafty nor do i have the patience or energy for most DIY projects so I’ll be more than happy to pay (within reason) to have “professionals” do their thing. Programs, escort cards, flowers/centerpieces (if my venue allows) are probably the only areas that I would try to attempt on my own. The mark ups are unethical. So WIC vendors are forced to re-think their pricing than great!
I agree with Sking posts when she said “I think it’s interesting to say that DIY is bad for the WIC when many items that are DIY are recent additions to the idea of a wedding that is central to that created by the WIC.” Its almost like pressure is building from both sides, whether if you want a traditional cookie-cutter wedding or an uber self styled DIY extravaganza. Can we just breathe and have the freaking day we want without criticism, criteria no matter which complex its coming from.
Most people do not live their day to day existence worrying about their imprint or less fortunate people, so using their wedding as time to make statement is a tad unrealistic. In theory should we, yeah sure I agree, but most of us are trying make dollar at out of 15 cents. Whatever someone wants to have a $$$$ wedding or a back yard style potluck, lets celebrate them making a commitment to each other, since we will probalby never know the context behind why they made their choices.
Post # 40
@bklynbridetobe: “Most people do not live their day to day existence worrying about their imprint or less fortunate people, so using their wedding as time to make statement is a tad unrealistic.”
No kidding. It’s not as though brides don’t have enough pressure on them as it is.
Post # 41
I’m totally DIY’ing my way through this wedding! We just CAN’T afford to have a luxe wedding, so whatever I’m not DIYing then I’m looking for a discount!
Our venue will eat up a big chunk of the budget, which kills me, SO I’m trying my darndest to see what we can do to CUT CUT CUT the price!
Post # 42
I sort of disagree. I think there’s a sense in this thread that’s like “Oh, the less you spend, the better of a person you are.” Sort of like that oft-quoted idea that the cheaper the wedding the better the marriage, which I think is reverse snobbery. A cheaper wedding does not a happier marriage make. (Not that it makes it worse either, but it’s not a factor on your marriage.)
There’s a reason why things are so expensive—sure, you can get a meal in a reastaurant for say $20, but a buyout (taking over the whole restaurant) or catering for a wedding will be significantly more. Why? When you eat in a restaurant, there’s a turnover expectation—the restaurant is that you get say five to six covers (different parties) at a table per night. A wedding is a five hour affair (on average) and you need to make back that amount of money during that block of time. If you treat ten of your friends to an hour lunch or dinner at a restaurant, it will be cheaper for a wedding (and a great idea for a cost-conscious wedding), but most people want the whole shindig.
We spent what many on this thread would consider an extravagant amount on our wedding. For our region (NYC), it was inexpensive. However, one thing that I thought about was how many times my friends and family had helped me, emotionally and financially, throughout the years. Treating 100 people to a meal and entertainment (which is essentially what a wedding is) is not very cheap. We were lucky enought to have the financial means to afford our wedding and celebrating with them was a joy! I don’t feel that I got gouged by any of my vendors–if anything, I probably underpaid them.
Post # 43
I was very curious to click on this since I work in the industry. Ironically, the wedding industry was one of the only ones barely affected and last hit by the recession. People weren’t willing to sacrifice the wedding of their dreams even in a bad economy.
Weddings, as a whole, have become a huge expectation that never was. Bouquets were more simple, cakes were more simple, setting the stage was more simple… the entire ambiance was more simple a mere 15 years ago. Recently however, what were once hollywood only affairs are now becoming the expectation. Even champion DIY and “real world” blogs like “Style me Pretty” promote lavish, customized, tailored affairs. Even with DIY, these things aren’t cheap.
DIY is not replacing or killing the wedding industry. If anything, it’s weeding out the “stars” from the “uncle bobs.” Why pay $500-1500 for an inexperienced photographer when you have one in your family begging to do it? Why pay top dollar for a DJ if you’re having a small intimate reception or an outdoor BBQ affair?
In the end, people have ALWAYS had priorities for weddings, always taken some DIY, and always there have been people who would rather just pay. There was and will always be brides looking to make their own floral arrangements. There will always be brides going the route of homemade cakes, pies, etc. There will also always be a bride who wants a DJ to keep the crowed moving and values their ability to read and react to the crowd. There will always be someone wanting to not lift a finger and hire someone else to put it together. There will always be someone willing to pay.
If you think DIY is killing your chosen profession in the industry, then you are either undervaluing yourself or your service is not valuable to your chosen market. And yes, there is a market for budget weddings that is different than the market for high dollar. Perhaps hone your skill and make yourself stand out from the uncle bob and aunt jo helpers so that brides see the value in paying for your service. If not, then you either aren’t as important to them (which every wedding has aspects that aren’t as important to the couple) or your service doesn’t hold the value you say.
Post # 44
The statements you mentioned are very interesting. I can say that for me, checking out wedding blogs made me realise that I could DIY lots of things. And when I got the $ 2,000 and above estimates for flowers, wedding coordination and invites I decided almost immediately to go the DIY route. If the estimates had not been so high, I probably would have just paid, as I think those estimates were over inflated and I refuse to pay such amounts! Perhaps this will change the industry in favour of the consumer.
Having said that, I believe the industry is NOT dying: it’s actually striving! It’s just the players that are changing.
Photographers, DIY supply stores, Etsy and such must be thanking their lucky stars at the moment, as this DIY movement must have brought lots of positive changes for them! The players are changing, but I’m sure the money people spend on weddings is not…
Post # 45
This thread has been dead for a while but I stumbled across this blog and this guy’s “campaign” and thought I would share it with the hive. Interesting, to say the least:
Post # 46
I am glad you bumped this! Honestly, at 5:30AM….. as a future bride who is pulling an “all nighter” working a second job because I need the extra cash to just afford a pro photographer for my wedding…..To the “wedding industry” who “poo-poo” DIY…you can suck it.
Granted, I am (obviously) tired and cranky…..and yes, I realize that my decision to want to hire a pro photog has led me to grab this second job……and no, I am certainly not directing this at any vendors who are members of the bee.
The economy sucks…..flat out sucks……If the “wedding industry” wants me to hire them instead of DIY, then maybe they need to shrink their profit margin and adjust their prices to reflect the state of the economy. Why pay $400 for a brooch bouquet on ETSY when I can make one myself for $60? Why charge $2k+ for a white tent when my FCIL rents his yellow/white tent for $250? (Yes, I get there are cleaning issues with the white tent, but $1.5K+ cleaning issues?) Why pay $500 for invites when I can buy DIY invites at Michaels for $80? You get the idea……