(Closed) DIY Officiating

posted 6 years ago in Denver
Post # 3
Member
1734 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@copewedding:  We had a self-uniting wedding in Pennsylvania, although we had two of our closest friends (who are married to each other) “officiate” for us. All that the state of PA cared about is that I said “I take you as my husband” to Mr. Skeptic and he said “I take you as my wife” to me, after we got the license. So we surrounded those statements with a lot of other stuff too. 🙂

You can Google around for other examples where the bride and the groom really did handle it themselves, and for other examples that are similar to how we handled it. OffbeatBride would likely be a good resource. I think it really is a lovely option, particularly for those of us who are secular and believe that really every relationship is fundamentally self-uniting if it’s working right!

Post # 4
Member
2778 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

We did.  But we didn’t have a ceremony we are having that with family back East.  We just walked into the Clerk’s Office and filled out the app with the clerk then filled out the licence she handed it to us and told us to bring it back in 30 days but we we’re just there to take care of the paperwork, so we said we’d like to self officiate.  She stamped it bride and groom we signed below took an oath that all the info was right and handed it back.  Way easier than it would have been to go through that process back home.  Also CO is a no witness state so we didn’t need that either.  She did staple a copy of the law onto our photocopy of the licence incase people asked about that since the only other state the allows this is PA but with 2 witnesses.  I think technically you can do it in any state if you are a Quaker…but you’ll need two witnesses and prior approval.

Post # 5
Member
121 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

There’s really nothing to it.  You pay $30 to get the license (you need to both show up, with proof of identity), then need to send it back within 30 days.  You can sign it as ‘bride’ and ‘groom’ right there if you want, and you’re married.

We had a ceremony, and had one of our friends officiate (or emcee, if you like that term better).  It’s a really nice opportunity, I think, b/c then you can marry yourself (really, particularly for us non-religious folks, why do you need someone else to say you’re married) and/or have someone important to you as a couple ‘marry’ you instead of hiring a stranger or fussing with getting a friend ordained.  We wrote our whole ceremony, and our friend was pretty much master of ceremonies, telling the guests when to stand up, or join in, or whatever.  The fact that we *legally* married ourselves was irrelevant to the guests—the only ones who knew are the ones we told.  (And I told pretty much everyone, b/c I thought it was great).  There are no witnesses required, and no specific language that has to be included, either.

Incidentally, there are three states that have some version of this, with a different term.  Someone mentioned PA’s ‘self-uniting’–due to the state’s long-standing Quaker roots.  You can also marry yourselves in WI, though I forget what it’s called in that state.  And Colorado, of course—here it’s termed ‘self-sanctify’ the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
303 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

 If you are not going to make “signing the license” a part of your wedding–

the easiest thing to do would be to go to the Clerk’s Office together at 8am and get the license, sign it right there, they’ll file it, done deal– whole thing takes like 20min, then you can go have your ceremony worry-free 🙂

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