(Closed) DJ is a friend and I am a control freak. HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Music
Post # 2
2260 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Honestly, I think you should see if you can get a different DJ.  It doesn’t sound like he’s really into the wedding thing.  I think it is totally fair for you to want a certain type of music, and if it isn’t what he’s into, then get someone who is.

Post # 3
361 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

I think at some point you need to let things go. give him a list of song and then let it go. if at the day of the wedding he isn’t playing what you want then ask him to switch it up. Don’t make it a problem until it is. Too often as brides we freak out about stuff we should just let go. Thats just my opion. For the list he can get a vibe.

Post # 4
608 posts
Busy bee

I would nicely let him know you want to go with a wedding Dj and would prefer he have a good time as your guest. Ive had a few friends offer to be vendors for us and I declined because Id rather keep business and friends seperate. But FWIW my Dj is specifically a wedding Dj and the company allows us to pick our first dance song, father daughter song etc and they let you pick 25 songs you love to get an idea for what you want but they ask that you let them go with the vibe of the crowd

Post # 5
5648 posts
Bee Keeper

As a DJ – I’d advise getting another DJ. 

Ive DJed a wedding before, and some parties – but this was for people who wanted the type of music I play. 

Id never do the whole ‘party talking in a mic’ DJ where people come up and request justin beber or something. 

because of that I’d never offer my services to a bride and groom and I’ve turned down paid jobs too because of it. 

I get the feeling your DJ and I are in the same camp and therefore I think he should have realised that most bride and grooms want a ‘wedding DJ’ not a niche club type DJ (And for very good reasons might I add)  

it sounds like a tricky conversation coming up but if you explain to him that you feel like you’re making him perform outside his style and you’d rather not do that, it might help..maybe. 

Post # 6
2 posts
  • Wedding: June 2020

If he is doing you a favour (not getting paid), it may not be fair to ask him to do more than his style allows for.

In that case, you might wish to try a paid wedding DJ – you could break it to him gently by wording it right. For instance, you could ask “Is it ok if we… would you be offended?”

A good wedding DJ can cost a fair bit of coin though… Being a wedding DJ – I know. The better ones will help you plan your music, and possibly give you lists to sort through. Some will even offer to edit your first dance songs etc… if they are too long. Some are good eye candy too. Reading the crowd is a biggy for DJs.

I usually advise people not to restrict the music too much, because it will make it harder for the DJ to select, and many people don’t tend to hear those songs that have been restricted except at their next wedding.

Post # 7
301 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016 - Beck Rec center

Let the DJ, DJ lol for all his you could just stick an iPad to a speaker and play everything you want. DJ specialize in getting a feel of the crowd and getting everyone up and about. Good luck

Post # 8
203 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Hilarious.  You told him you wanted to have him as your DJ for your WEDDING and then later on he says he didn’t know you wanted a “wedding DJ”?  What did he think you wanted him for?  To play at a group home?

First, don’t use a friendor.  Second – hire a professional WEDDING DJ.  There’s a huge difference b/w a DJ who plays in clubs and lounges versus one who has experience doing weddings.  It involves a whole lot – more than I could have imagined.

The two DJ’s I’ve met with so far give me a list of songs to play for each part of the wedding (processional, recessional, first dance, cake cutting, etc).  They ask for 6-10 must play songs/artists as well as “do-not-play” songs/artists.  They also have provided suggestions for songs for certain parts of the wedding if we’re stumped.

If a DJ cannot provide you with that (and look at their websites for promo clips), move on to the next person.

That is of course if the DJ is that important to you – which it should be.  The DJ sets the tone for the reception.

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