Post # 1
I know this process is supposed to be stressful. But it’s also supposed to be enjoyable, and the wedding day is supposed to be one of the best days of your life. Well I hate this whole thing. I can’t wait to be married, but the wedding seems like some trial-by-fire thing that I have to go through to get there. My main problem is that I am not a good hostess, and I don’t want to be responsible for whether or not people enjoy themselves. I’m a good guest, but never ask me to plan something. It never goes the way I expected. So I’m trying to deviate as little as possible from the cookie-cutter wedding so no one will be surprised or disappointed.
Anyway, I don’t see how anyone enjoys this. Are any of you having fun with this? Does it have to do with whether you like planning other events? Or are there specific things you enjoyed planning, like the menu or the music?
Post # 3
I freaking love it. I’m a planning nut. Always planning parties, outings and events with my group of friends. So far wedding planning has been all kinds of fun and I haven’t had a complaint yet!
Post # 4
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I loved planning, but that’s just me. I love entertaining, I love design, and I love a damn good excuse to blow a lot of money. LOL
If you are not feeling it, are there any friends or family members with good taste who would be happy to help? Or maybe just pay a planner to handle everything for you?
Post # 5
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I love event planning, so it was a lot of fun for me. But I understand how not every bride enjoys it (and trust me, there were times I was so FED UP and just wanted to elope.)
OP: I agree with lovekiss- any friends or family who would be all over helping out? (My Future Mother-In-Law would have run the show, if I had let her.) Or are there things that you can delegate, that you don’t enjoy doing? Ex: I LOVED doing our invites/paper items- I used to be a graphic designer. And that’s something I would love to do for a friend. If you have a friend who’s really into music, maybe they could help find a DJ/band, etc.
Post # 6
I love planning. I love to throw parties and keep people having a good time. I like pp’s idea, if you are really not enoying the planning and have the budget for one, hire a planner. It will save you so much stress.
Post # 7
I thought that I would enjoy it, but so far it’s mostly been stressful. My problem is that I’m not a decorator. I would never buy knick knacks for my house, so I find it wasteful and frivolous to buy them to put on a table at a reception. In general, its hard for me to deal with how much money we’re spending and I feel like most vendors are taking advantage of us because it’s the wedding industry and they can. I told my fiance that he has to be the one to look at the bills after the wedding, if I see the totals it’ll make me sick. We can afford it, but it doesn’t mean it’s fun to spend it.
We also only have 7 months to plan and I’m writing my PhD thesis at the same time. So I’ve got two projects going on that take an incredible amount of time.
Post # 8
I actually really love wedding/event planning. However for my own wedding, between our mothers and a (fantastic) wedding coordinator, I haven’t been able to do much planning 🙁
Post # 9
I do have moments of frustration and anger, but mostly I am having a ton of fun.
The negative side of things tend to happen because of our tight budget, spread out family, and BMs who are all over the place physically and otherwise, and the fact that my fiance and I still don’t have a place to call our own.
But we’ve been planning for about 2 years, so I have had the ability to take a step back from things, focus on something OTHER than the wedding, and then jump back in once my head is cleared.
In the beginning, I was also SO concerned with what other people were going to think. But one of my BM’s gave me the best advice ever when she said, “Don’t worry about other people’s opinions. If you try to make your decisions based on what other people think, you will never get anything done and nothing will be the way YOU want it to be.” So I just had to learn to stay true to myself and my fiance when it came to certain things.
So, yes, there are times when I’m annoyed and stressed and can’t fall asleep at night worrying about ridiculous things like who is going to light the candles before we get to the reception. But mostly I am having fun and am very excited.
Post # 10
- Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club
I’m really enjoying planning so far. Have you thought about hiring a planner?
Post # 11
i find it stressful and enjoyable at the same time. mostly stressed about being a good hostess – i like to entertain but with such a large group i don’t have control over everything so its worrisome. having support/opinions/help makes a huge difference. i like the little things that i care about, the food and invitation design… but the logistics of the whole day is overwhelming
Post # 12
I didn’t really love it, to be honest. I think there were several things that worked in my favor to make it tolerable, however.
1) I did exactly what I wanted to do. With input from H, of course, on the stuff that he cared about. Otherwise, he said do what you want. I didn’t ask ANYONE else for an opinion though. My mom went with me dress shopping and bought my dress (which took all of 45 minutes – I bought the second dress I tried on out of 3 total!).
2) We had 4 months from engagement to wedding day. That was key. No need to drag it out for 6 months or more and make myself miserable. 4 months was PLENTY of time – I got the big stuff set in the first month or so, then it was easy the rest of the way.
3) We had a small wedding (80 people). I only wanted CLOSE family and friends there, so that’s what we did.
Post # 13
I enjoyed most of it, but I won’t lie, it can be stressful at times, especially near the end.
I would say overall I really enjoyed it. But I also lucked out with family members being extremely helpful and not sticking their 2 cents in all the time. Everyone was totally understanding of the decisions we made for our very untraditional wedding.
Post # 14
When I first started planning I was miserable. I’m a very indecisive person by nature, my mom was not interested in helping me at all, of my two best friends, one was in the middle of seperating and divorcing her husband and the other was very pregnant and preparing for a baby. My FH isn’t interested in wedding things and I felt like I had to do everything by myself because I didn’t want to bother anyone. Then, Future Mother-In-Law passed away and I stopped everything. At the time, she was the only person that was actively involved in planning and it just felt wrong to keep planning after her death. Plus, I couldn’t see any joy in doing it without her.
The closer I’ve gotten though, I’m starting to really like it. My mom is on board and more supportive, one of my best friends is really creative and crafty and now that her baby is older, she’s able to help more, my other best friend is still a bit bitter about weddings, but is wanting to be involved. It’s so much easier with a support system. I’m finding I’m actually really good at being organized and making lists. I hope that this happy feeling lasts, because I know the closer we get the more stressed I’ll get, so I’m holding on to enjoying it while I can.
Post # 15
So far I am enjoying it but I am in the very very early stages, and I have had a few stressful moments. Perhaps get someone to help you out with the planning, or hire a planner?
Post # 16
I am enjoying it. About 3 years ago I had a seasonal job where I managed a huge event that lasted 4 or 5 weekends a year, I did that for ‘fun’ for about 8 years until I retired from it because I couldn’t juggle my real job with the ‘fun’ job. I’m very decisive by nature and don’t have a problem orchestrating lots of stuff. I am NOT crafty though, and while I have vision, I pretty much 100% rely on the vendors I’ve hired for their artistic ability. If I had to DIY everything it would be a nightmare lol