(Closed) Do any other "big girls" have confident, fulfilling sex lives?

posted 6 years ago in Intimacy
Post # 3
Member
3765 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2013

*hugs*

Girl, I am a size 16/18 and I have fabulous sex! The key though, is loving yourself. I have my blah days where I feel unattractive, and those are the days I find myself something “special” to wear for Fiance. His reactions to my outfits alone are the perfect confidence boosters!

My favorite site is http://www.hipsandcurves.com. Maybe you’ll find something that will make you feel like the sexy woman you are!

Post # 4
Member
1578 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Country Club

I do! πŸ™‚ I’m a pant size 20/22, top size l/xl. Fiance and I have great sex… I think it’s because I know he thinks I’m beautiful and sexy, so damnit I AM. 

Post # 5
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Just want to say that I used to weigh 150pounds and I went down to 100pounds in about a year. Trust me, it was hard work but a year is hardly a lifetime if it’s going to make you feel sexy and beautiful again! I adjusted my eating habits, worked out 4 times a week, and educated myself on an overall healthier lifestyle. Don’t just accept this if you are unhappy with it! You absolutely CAN loose the weight, trust me I’m not an active person and even I was able to do it. πŸ™‚

Post # 6
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

I’m a size 18 and although it took me years, I love my body. I thank burlesque. I teach and perform and even won our national competition.

I love teaching women to love their bodies and enjoy being a sexy, sensual woman.

i love hearing from women after shows about how I inspire them and give them confidence because I look like them!

I highly recommend finding a class in your area. It’s so much fun, you make great friends and I have seen every single woman who has come through my classes blossom.

It all comes from within πŸ™‚

Post # 7
Member
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I’m a 16/18 and while I wouldnt say I have a lot of confidence, my Fiance has definitely built it up for me and we have great sex. I do still sometimes feel weird when I’m not wearing a shirt, but I think thats more a comfort thing for me.

Post # 9
Member
40 posts
Newbee

I am 12/14 but very wide set in the hips and short so I look plumpier than I am. I was  a size 3 when I met him and lets just say I “blew up”. And I had issues getting naked once I realized it. No matter what he said, I felt ugly. Our sex life suffered and we werent as close. One day I woke up and thought to myself “I am still beautiful, hes still with me and I am going to give him the best sex of his life no matter what I look like”. So to this day, we average out to about 1 or 2 times a day (7 years later) πŸ™‚ Its a mental thing. But if you do work out, you will feel better. I heard excersise releases endorphins like sex πŸ˜‰ 

But all in all you are beautiful and you should feel that way!! <3  

Post # 11
Member
8483 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@MrsCreeToBe:  Haha, same here! I wont get on top unless I’m wearing a shirt or nightie or something.

Post # 12
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

SEXY IS AN ATTITUDE NOT A SIZE.

My opinion is that even if you lost a bunch of weight, you still wouldn’t be happy with how you look.  Confidence has NOTHING to do with size.  Really, it doesn’t.  There is such an emphasis put on body image now… that even women who are the “society-approved size” aren’t confident with how they look…. if they aren’t confident in general about who they are. 

I was skinny during high school, but gained weight as an adult.  I have been a size 20 for the past 15 years.  I am confident, I know that I am pretty and I feel sexy.  All of the men I have been with (except for my 1st husband…. notice he’s not my husband now) have been very turned on by me and thought I was sexy.  I have more sex with the lights on now then I did when I was younger and skinnier, because I know what it’s about.  I have fabulous sex because I know what turns ME on and I can communicate it to the man I am with.  I know how to LISTEN to what turns HIM on and I want him to be happy.  The size of my ASS has nothing to do with it!!!!!!!

I have “down” days, but they are few and far between and I can tell you that I have fewer days where I feel “fat” than my sister does…. who is a size 12 and goes to aerobics EVERY morning at 5pm and goes to a spinning class EVERY night at 6pm.  My mother thinks she looks fat in every outfit she has… regardless of her current size.  both have HUGE self-esteem issues…. and they have NOTHING to do with their weight…. they just blame their self-esteem on their weight.

 

There is also something to be said for the joke about what goes through each persons mind when they are naked:

Girl:  I should work out more, I have such flabby thighs, Look at my ass, ugggh my tummy is so huge, I bet he thinks I look like a beached whale………

Guy:  Boobs.

 

Post # 13
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

OMG – he WANTS the jiggles.  Yank that shirt off and get on top.  Get on up there with unbridled passion.  It will turn him on for days………

Post # 14
Member
613 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

@3xaCharm:  

Girl: I should work out more, I have such flabby thighs, Look at my ass, ugggh my tummy is so huge, I bet he thinks I look like a beached whale………

Guy: Boobs.

THIS!!!!

My trick for being on top and hiding jiggly bits, bring your arms in to squish your boobs together and then place your hands on your man’s chest, straightish to kind of hide the tummy area and make your boobs look extra fantastic! πŸ˜‰

Post # 15
Member
1733 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Work on dropping the weight (including looking for any underlying health issues), but also work on unhooking your ideas about weight from your ideas of self-worth.

Your body isn’t the ideal that you have in your mind, but it does so many things for you! It transports you around, it lets you hug and kiss people, it lets you wear nice clothes and shoes, it lets you taste delicious food, etc etc etc. Your body is a beautiful machine which allows you to interface with a beautiful and complicated world. And part of that world experience is sex, through which you experience pleasure — which you deserve to receive. It’s also how you give pleasure, which is one of many ways to build your relationship and intimacy and the close feelings that you and your husband have.

You deserve to give and receive love, and you deserve to feel good about yourself. You know there are things you want to change, and you will. But in the meantime, you have to love what you have, because it’s all you have. And there are so many good things about your body — why deprive yourself from feeling good?

Post # 16
Member
497 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I am a size 22/24 was a 26/28 last year before I lost 60 pounds. I have been a 22/24 for the longer part of my adult life. I never had any trouble getting dates and have always felt sexy. I have never doubted that Fiance loves me just the way I am. He would also love me if I was skinny. He has supported me in droping weight as we both know it is better to be at a lower weight while pregnant.

We have sex two to three times a week, he cant keep his hands off me and WOW is the sex amazing. It is like this because I know that he loves me even if I feel yucky some days. I hate my stomach some days, other days I may hate my chin.  But every morning I look at the mirror and I focus on a few things. My sexy ass, my beautiful eyes, my awesome hair, my cute little nose, my almost straight teeth, my cute little ears, my kick ass boobs. The point is, I am not full of my self, but I make sure I focus on what I love about my physical self.

I love love love being on top, I know that he loves it because that is when he gets powerful Os. He love loves loves the front row view to the BOOBIES! Once in awhile we might even switch it up and he gets the view of the bum.

But to sum it up, only you can say if you are or are not sexy. It is all about loving who you are and knowing that your man loves you for you, not the body you think you should have.

The topic ‘Do any other "big girls" have confident, fulfilling sex lives?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors