(Closed) Do any waiting bees feel like your day will never come?

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I have felt that way….like he would never start looking at rings, etc. I just made myself really busy and then let some time pass. Eventually the feeling went away. Sometimes it just creeps up on me, but tell myself I’m having a bad waiting day and that I’ll be fine. Do you guys talk about the future?

Post # 4
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

Regularly. The degree of hopelessness varies. But it’s pretty regular. soyjoy222 gave really great advice that I’m actually going to use. πŸ™‚ I’m looking at buying a house this year and trying to plan a vacation to spain in between school work after my work work. So I stay pretty busy. But it still sneaks in. And then I have to remind myself that he loves me and said we’ll get married one day. Then I jump on here, watch some “say yes to the dress,” and if it gets bad enough I treat myself to a bottle of wine. Smile

I find it’s usually just fear for me. Soyjoy222 already asked, but do you talk about the future? Has he said that it’s a sure thing you’d get married one day? Sorry it’s not such a great day today.

Post # 5
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Aww, hun I’m sorry to hear you are having one of those days.

I was waiting for 2 years so I had more of those days than I needed to have. I hated the helplessness feeling. Just try to distract yourself with something, get a good book, try somthing diy, maybe try working out anything that will get your mind off of waiting.

Just tell yourself that it will happen someday! When it does happen it will be amazing, and totally worth all of this horrible waiting!

Post # 8
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

When I lived back in CA with bf, it was like…heartbreak every day.  I mean, I saw him every day, I did his laundry ever week and made him food every night.  It was sooo tough to put that much love into our home/relationship and not feel like we were going to arrive at engagement soon. 

It really helped when I moved out to TN for school and I don’t actually see him, I don’t have to clean up or go out of my way for him, don’t have to cook for him and I stay 150% busy with school, House MD and American Idol.  All the things I used to do when I was single, actually.  The time has flown SO FAST since I moved, I can barely believe it.  When I left, we decided on a time line of 1 year for engagement.  lol, when he readily agreed, I thought to myself “dangit, I shoulda said 6 months”.

 

@claireos:  haha, I actually STOPPED watching say yes to the dress because I felt it didn’t apply to me and it was making me sad. 

Post # 9
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Shirinjoon: If he gave you a timeline, hang tight.  I felt the same way before Fiance proposed.  πŸ™‚  I think it’s normal to freak out a little.

On a side note, your name looks Persian!  Are you?

Post # 11
Member
2893 posts
Sugar bee

@artichokesalad: What was it that made you freak out? Was there something in particular that he was doing or not doing that gave you doubts? Just curious. πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
64 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

You know even after knowing he has the ring, and it’ll happen *soon* you still feel a sense of it not being real or tangible. It will always seem like it’s so far away until the day it actually happens imo.

Post # 13
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Shirinjoon: Glad I’m actually picking up on the culture.  Fiance is Persian. πŸ™‚

@claireos: I don’t think it was anything specifically.  Prior to getting engaged, I was hypersensitive about any changes (real or imagined) so if I felt he wasn’t suffocating me with attention, I’d immediately react with the thought it wasn’t going to work out.  That spiraled into doubts and fears and then, eventually, thinking I couldn’t POSSIBLY be with this one person for the rest of my life and that maybe I shouldn’t even get married!  It was ridiculous.  I am obviously fine now, but it was a little scary.  I just didn’t want to make a mistake, and I didn’t want to be taken for a ride.  During the waiting period, Fiance would go between constantly talking about being engaged and NOT talking about it, even seeming annoyed. 

Post # 14
Member
185 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I’ve felt like this from time to time. It actually was really bad this past week – I think it had to do with Valentine’s Day and people asking me if I think SO will propose. But as PPs have said – I try to keep myself busy and remember that it WILL happen. Also finding this forum has really helped. I’m brand new, but I’m already starting to feel better knowing that there are other ladies out there in my position and having an outlet to vent my frustrations! Everyone is so supportive here – it really helps!

Post # 15
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

YES.  I feel like this TODAY!

Post # 16
Member
5371 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Ontario, Canada β™₯ EDD- April 2016

Sometimes I do feel like he’ll never do it. But I just have to keep thinking that he has a plan that he is really hoping works out and I don’t want to ruin it for him. He could be getting ready to buy the ring or he might not get it for like 6 months, it’s really frustrating. We’re living together right now and he promises he wants to marry me so I’m not really worried; just frustrated mostly πŸ˜‰ haha

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