(Closed) do bridesmaids give gifts?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

i think the general consensus is that no one is EXPECTED to give a gift, although most do. and as for BMs, i guess its up to them if they can afford it or feel they want to no matter what. i won;t be upset if mine don’t (but i am also having a destination wedding, so i think i am asking alot already with the dress AND the travelling). (i have to admit, i might upset if they don’t get us cards at least)

Post # 4
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

It’s not required if you are on a limited budget and spending a ton as it is. The wedding gift registry and bridal shower registry are the same so if you bought something for the shower, buying a separate gift for the wedding is not necessary or even done in most circles. You are totally fine with just a card and a heartfelt message.

Post # 5
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

In my circle we gave a gift at the shower but no gift for the wedding.

Post # 6
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

In all the weddings I have been in, the BMs all went in together for a shower gift (so smaller monetary amount per person) and then each gave a separate gift for the wedding.

Post # 7
Member
161 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

They are not expected to but I think a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man like to give a gift.

Post # 8
Member
10367 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

I think a really hearfelt card about why the bride means so much to you would be so much more meaningful than a gift! When you’re already spending so much, I think that’s a good way to go!

Post # 9
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

The one time I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I gave a wedding gift.  I wasn’t able to attend her shower (I’m in FL and she’s in MI…I just couldn’t afford a plane ticket twice), but even if I was, I still would have gotten her a gift for the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
2496 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

In the weddings I’ve been in, the brides all told their girls that they did not expect a wedding gift.  Some girls did, and some didn’t, but I appreciated that they just let us know that.  I plan on telling my girls the same thing because I know it gets expensive and 2 of my girls (FI’s sisters) are still in college, and the rest are newlyweds.

Post # 11
Member
1872 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man many times over and every time I’ve given a wedding gift and sometimes a shower gift. But the amount is always on a sliding scale depending on what I’ve already spent to be in the wedding. And the shower gift depends on how much I’ve had to contribute to the shower–monetarily and time-wise.

So if we’re talking $1000 in “BM fees” then the gift might be $25 with a nice card. If we’re talking $500 in “BM fees” I might bump it up to $40-50.

I also feel it’s a nice thing for the bride to do–to tell her Bridesmaid or Best Man personally that she’s really not expecting a gift from them. It takes some of the pressure off.

Post # 12
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club

I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man once, but I did give a gift for the shower and for the wedding.  Like others have said, it’s not expected, but I think many do.

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I have been a bridesmaid in 4 weddings and have always given a shower gift and a monetary gift at the wedding.  The amount of the wedding gift has increased (for the first 2 I was a graduate student and for the last 2 I have had a full-time job).  I have been consistent with the 2 more recent ones ($50ish shower gift and $100 wedding gift) as that seems to be the standard with my group of friends (7 of us from HS–4 weddings in past 4 years, mine in 2011, and hopefully the last two in 2012 and 2013!!).

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