Post # 1
Just a question as they already contribute so much in other ways.
Is it customary for them to still give a wedding gift after paying for dresses, accessories, hosting the bridal shower, bridal shower gifts etc?
Post # 3
i think the general consensus is that no one is EXPECTED to give a gift, although most do. and as for BMs, i guess its up to them if they can afford it or feel they want to no matter what. i won;t be upset if mine don’t (but i am also having a destination wedding, so i think i am asking alot already with the dress AND the travelling). (i have to admit, i might upset if they don’t get us cards at least)
Post # 4
It’s not required if you are on a limited budget and spending a ton as it is. The wedding gift registry and bridal shower registry are the same so if you bought something for the shower, buying a separate gift for the wedding is not necessary or even done in most circles. You are totally fine with just a card and a heartfelt message.
Post # 5
In my circle we gave a gift at the shower but no gift for the wedding.
Post # 6
In all the weddings I have been in, the BMs all went in together for a shower gift (so smaller monetary amount per person) and then each gave a separate gift for the wedding.
Post # 7
They are not expected to but I think a lot of Bridesmaid or Best Man like to give a gift.
Post # 8
I think a really hearfelt card about why the bride means so much to you would be so much more meaningful than a gift! When you’re already spending so much, I think that’s a good way to go!
Post # 9
The one time I was a Bridesmaid or Best Man, I gave a wedding gift. I wasn’t able to attend her shower (I’m in FL and she’s in MI…I just couldn’t afford a plane ticket twice), but even if I was, I still would have gotten her a gift for the wedding.
Post # 10
In the weddings I’ve been in, the brides all told their girls that they did not expect a wedding gift. Some girls did, and some didn’t, but I appreciated that they just let us know that. I plan on telling my girls the same thing because I know it gets expensive and 2 of my girls (FI’s sisters) are still in college, and the rest are newlyweds.
Post # 11
I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man many times over and every time I’ve given a wedding gift and sometimes a shower gift. But the amount is always on a sliding scale depending on what I’ve already spent to be in the wedding. And the shower gift depends on how much I’ve had to contribute to the shower–monetarily and time-wise.
So if we’re talking $1000 in “BM fees” then the gift might be $25 with a nice card. If we’re talking $500 in “BM fees” I might bump it up to $40-50.
I also feel it’s a nice thing for the bride to do–to tell her Bridesmaid or Best Man personally that she’s really not expecting a gift from them. It takes some of the pressure off.
Post # 12
- Wedding: April 2011 - The Tribute Golf Club
I’ve only been a Bridesmaid or Best Man once, but I did give a gift for the shower and for the wedding. Like others have said, it’s not expected, but I think many do.
Post # 13
I have been a bridesmaid in 4 weddings and have always given a shower gift and a monetary gift at the wedding. The amount of the wedding gift has increased (for the first 2 I was a graduate student and for the last 2 I have had a full-time job). I have been consistent with the 2 more recent ones ($50ish shower gift and $100 wedding gift) as that seems to be the standard with my group of friends (7 of us from HS–4 weddings in past 4 years, mine in 2011, and hopefully the last two in 2012 and 2013!!).