(Closed) Do bridesmaids pay for their dresses??

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 16
Member
296 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - The Fairmont, SF

I’m from the States but living in the UK and like nearly everyone else has said, I think it’s traditional in the United Kingdom for brides to treat their bridesmaids, whereas in the States, the bridesmaids usually absorb their own costs. That being said, if the dresses are pricier than usual or you’re feeling generous as an American bride, I think it’s nice to offer to help, if you can. I’m splitting the cost of the bridesmaid dress with each girl to help them out. 

Post # 17
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Well you say it would really help you out if they could pay so the best thing to do is ask. Obviously ask them individually and in private. As long as you don’t then require them to purchase expensive dresses and shoes to match and then also insist they get their hair and makeup professionally done once they’ve agreed it should be okay. 

Post # 18
Member
39 posts
Newbee

In the Uk the bride pays for it! I was surprised to read that in the USA it’s normal for brides to pay.

Post # 19
Member
2354 posts
Buzzing bee

It’s traditional (and also the norm) in my region for bridesmaids to pay for their own attire. However, I am not in favor of this practice. I also know my sister and best friend are on a tight budget, just like I am, so I decided not to have a bridal party. I could never ask them to pay for something I can’t afford myself.

Post # 20
Member
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

It depends on you, as the bride. Some will pay for their Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, and others will not – I’m in the US.

I’ve only been in 2 weddings, and both we paid for our own. I had my girls pay for their own, as well… but did some shopping around to get the best price. It was crazy how salons in the same city could be different. I was also happy that the salong that had the best price, also was so great to work with for them.

Post # 21
Member
4023 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
SoonToBeAFK:  I’ve always bought my dress and my bridesmaids will be buying their dresses. I think if you can afford to buy your maids their dresses, then you should go for it. I don’t have it in my budget to pay for their dresses. I have already allowed them to pick whatever dress they want in a range of colors I gave them. So, they have it 100% in control. They could buy an $8 dress from Target on clearance, or a $150 David’s Bridal dress. I don’t care. 

Post # 22
Member
1029 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

It is pretty common in the US/Canada.

I just want to warn you that some brides mistakenly see it as a bridesmaid’s duty to buy an expensive dress, rather than the generous favour it is, and fail to work within the bridesmaids’ budgets.    

Post # 23
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee

<br />Unless you are asking them to buy ridiculously expensive dresses, I’d say they would pay for their own. My bridesmaids paid for their own. No issues.

Post # 24
Member
442 posts
Helper bee

 

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SoonToBeAFK:  I asked my BMs what they could afford and went well under that. I hired a pretty costly hair and MU lady because I had a certain style in mind and do not think that is something you can skimp on- but did not require them to have theirs done. If I did- I would have paid or contributed. Some of them chose to do both, some only MU. I told them to buy/wear whatever shoes they wanted as long as they were black. They could be old, new, flat, heels, i don’t care since they are wearing long dresses they won’t show.

I am buying their jewelry since I want all of their earrings to match. (is that normal or controlling? loll)

Post # 25
Member
300 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I’m live in the US but in my culture, the bride pays for the dresses, make up, and hair. My bridesmaids bought the dresses while I was out of the country. They refused to let me pay them back, got to love them. Good thing it was relatively inexpensive (~$50) otherwise I would feel guilty. 

If you are having them pay for everything, just make sure the prices are reasonable and/or affordable for them. 

Post # 27
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

Ugh I wish BM’s didn’t have to pay for their own dresses… My friend’s dresses are double what I’m asking my maids to wear :/

Post # 28
Member
773 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

View original reply
SoonToBeAFK:  Been in a few weddings, always paid for my bridesmaid dress. I never expect the bride to shuffle out that money, after paying for her own wedding. I said yes knowing I would have some minor or major costs to being in a bridal party. Just let your girls know up front so that they can decide what they want to do. Just use the same courtesy you would want 🙂 Good luck!

Post # 29
Member
114 posts
Blushing bee

Yes in new zealand we pay for everything, dresses hair, makeup, shoes, and all groomsmen attire…. Adds up super quick…. I wonder if this is why it seems for the most part New Zealand couples have much smaller bridal parties to say America where there can bedouble digits… The 3 bridesmaids I have and 3 groomsmen we have have cost a couple of grand paying for all the outfits and extras on the day. I have never known of an nz wedding or even australia where the bride and groom don’t cover all costs… In fact no one has even offered to pay for anything… It seems to be expected

Post # 30
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee

I couldn’t ever imagine making my best friends pay for their own dresses to wear to my wedding which I asked them to be a part of. I’m in the belief that if you have asked to have 1 or 6, you budget for it as you would any other part of your wedding. They are a PART of it, not a guest, and therefore the couple should only do what’s within their budget. Same goes for accessories, hair, makeup. My BM’s offered to pay for their dresses, they are my besties and that’s what friends do, but as a friend, there is no way I was going to accept.

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