Post # 1
I’m planning on having my girls all wear different long sleeved dresses by the same designer, same material, and same color. But that’s pretty much the extent of matching I was planning to make them do. So the color, material, dress length, and sleeve length will be the same, but the backs and necklines will all be different.
I have a mixture of girls who are white, black, Asian, and Hispanic, with long, medium, and short hair, and textures that range from paper straight to kinky curly, so I’m letting them do their hair however they want because it would be virtually impossible to all wear the same hairstyle. I also plan to let them choose their own shoes and jewelry. In short, I want them to feel comfortable and look like individuals and not clones, while still keeping with the general scheme of the wedding.
Am I giving them too much freedom? Does it even matter how much they match or if they match at all?? The matching is really only for the pictures, right? I tried doing some research and couldn’t find any meaning to it, but I keep seeing these articles about how to match your bridesmaids, as if it’ll make or break the wedding day. Is it ok if I’m not matching everything about my bridesmaids at my wedding?
Post # 2
- Wedding: August 2018 - Location
Nothing has to match. Seriously who comes up with these rules?? It’s your wedding and these are real people, not photo props. What you’ve decided is totally fine!
Post # 3
The pashmina I bought for 2 of my bridesmaids was the only thing that matched. I told them long dresses, in a neutral color. I feel like it still looked coordinated. I’m not really into the super matchy bridesmaids, but a lot of people like that. I think it is totally ok to do what ever works for you!
Post # 4
It’s your decision. I’m personally having them in the same dress. Everything else is their choice.
Post # 5
I did same color, length and company (Azazie), and everyone else could choose style of dress (necklines, sleeves, etc) and put in their custom measurements. Everyone wore their own different colored shoes and necklaces, but I provided matching earrings, bouquets, and bracelets. They all picked different hairstyles from my stylist.
you can do whatever you want! Mix and match is really in right now.
Post # 6
They absolutely do not need to match. No offense to anyone who likes that look but the parade of identical looking women (dress, hair, makeup) bridesmaid trend is kind of creep to me.
When I did theater we used to style everyone exactly the same way because they were supposed to be indistinguishable or fade into the background. The bridesmaid trend makes me think that the bridesmaids are scenery rather than individuals who play an important role.
Post # 7
Up to you I had same dress and jewellery and then for hair and makeup they all had a more neutral look and hair had to be up but they picked the style. Shoes didn’t care as long as they were silver. I wanted more say so I paid for everything but the shoes. If the bridesmaids are paying letting them choose makes it easier for them.
Post # 8
I had two bridesmaids. I told them they could both wear long or both wear short, preferably green but if not green then gold. We went dress shopping together and they both liked the same dress so they both ended up in the same one. They wore comfortable shoes and had freedom for what the hairstylist and makeup artist did. They also could wear their own jewelry. Some people love the matchy look. If I’d had more than two maids I’d have gone for more variation (different shades or styles maybe) or not if extra maids had also liked the dress!
Post # 9
Not only do they not “have” to match, it is etiquette inappropriate to require matching shoes other than a general color commonly found in most closets, accessories, jewelry, hairstyles,nail color and makeup.
You can offer to pay for these things, which is always a nice gesture, but contrary to what many brides seem to think, that still doesn’t give you the right to require them.
The most you have in the US is some discretion over the dress, in consultation for budget and style. And even that is unnecessary.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2019 - Baltimore, MD
I picked color swatches and my fiance picked knee length dresses. Other than that, they could do whatever they wanted. Two are in one color, and the third is in another color. But aside from that, no one has the same dress or style.
Post # 11
It actually creeps me out a bit when I see bridesmaids with matching dress, hair, shoes, jewelry, everything. As if they are not individuals at all.
Post # 12
veej : My girls wore dresses in the same color range (not the same fabric or designer) and picked their own shoes (dresses were long so you didn’t see them anyways). I got them matching earrings but that’s it. They chose their own hairstyles.
For the dresses I had two colors in mind when we went shopping. My Maid/Matron of Honor came out of the dressing room in one of the colors I had liked and with a beaming smile said “this dress make me feel AMAZING!” and all the other girls agreed that they’d prefer that color. Boom. Done. They looked amazing and, most importantly, felt as beautiful as I did at my wedding.
Post # 13
Oh dear Lord no. They are your friends, not Stepford wives. Presumably you appreciate them for their individual characteristics the other 364 days of the year. Why would your wedding day be any different? It is absolutely not required. I absolutely get that it is a “thing” for some, but not a required thing. I always think it’s a little creepy when people are matchy matchy on everything, personally. Just get mannequins and call it a day then. But to each their own I guess.
Post # 14
- Wedding: May 2019 - City, State
Interestingly the original purpose of bridesmaids in the western context was to match the bride, so that any evil spirits/demons that came for the bride wouldn’t know which was which and hopefully would possess one of the bridesmaids instead. Or just get so frustrated that they’d leave.
Unless you’re trying to prevent evil spirits from possessing you, bridesmaids do not have to match if you’re not into that look. Personally I like the dresses to match, but when everything matches it gets to be too much.
Post # 15
I personally think it looks better when everyone looks different. Maybe a small matching thigh like hair decoration or nail polish that matches. Something small and subtle but that not necessary either.