Do Bridesmaids Really Have to Match?

posted 5 months ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: How much should bridesmaids match?
    Match EVERYTHING! (dress, hair, nails, shoes, jewelry, THE WORKS!) : (1 votes)
    2 %
    As long as the dress matches, that's all that matters! : (8 votes)
    13 %
    The dress and one other element should match (i.e. dress and jewelry, or dress and hair). : (4 votes)
    6 %
    Matching is not important. : (49 votes)
    79 %
  • Post # 2
    1260 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

    Nothing has to match. Seriously who comes up with these rules?? It’s your wedding and these are real people, not photo props. What you’ve decided is totally fine!

    Post # 3
    3705 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: December 2016

    The pashmina I bought for 2 of my bridesmaids was the only thing that matched. I told them long dresses, in a neutral color. I feel like it still looked coordinated. I’m not really into the super matchy bridesmaids, but a lot of people like that. I think it is totally ok to do what ever works for you! _CKP2683

    Post # 4
    330 posts
    Helper bee

    It’s your decision. I’m personally having them in the same dress. Everything else is their choice. 

    Post # 5
    455 posts
    Helper bee

    I did same color, length and company (Azazie), and everyone else could choose style of dress (necklines, sleeves, etc) and put in their custom measurements. Everyone wore their own different colored shoes and necklaces, but I provided matching earrings, bouquets, and bracelets. They all picked different hairstyles from my stylist. 

    you can do whatever you want! Mix and match is really in right now. 

    Post # 6
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: May 2019

    They absolutely do not need to match. No offense to anyone who likes that look but the parade of identical looking women (dress, hair, makeup) bridesmaid trend is kind of creep to me.

    When I did theater we used to style everyone exactly the same way because they were supposed to be indistinguishable or fade into the background. The bridesmaid trend makes me think that the bridesmaids are scenery rather than individuals who play an important role. 

    Post # 7
    204 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    Up to you I had same dress and jewellery and then for hair and makeup they all had a more neutral look and hair had to be up but they picked the style. Shoes didn’t care as long as they were silver. I wanted more say so I paid for everything but the shoes. If the bridesmaids are paying letting them choose makes it easier for them.

    Post # 8
    742 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    I had two bridesmaids. I told them they could both wear long or both wear short, preferably green but if not green then gold. We went dress shopping together and they both liked the same dress so they both ended up in the same one. They wore comfortable shoes and had freedom for what the hairstylist and makeup artist did. They also could wear their own jewelry. Some people love the matchy look. If I’d had more than two maids I’d have gone for more variation (different shades or styles maybe) or not if extra maids had also liked the dress!

    Post # 9
    11622 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Not only do they not “have” to match, it is etiquette inappropriate to require matching shoes other than a general color commonly found in most closets, accessories, jewelry, hairstyles,nail color and makeup.

    You can offer to pay for these things, which is always a nice gesture, but contrary to what many brides seem to think, that still doesn’t give you the right to require them. 

    The most you have in the US is some discretion over the dress, in consultation for budget and style. And even that is unnecessary. 

    Post # 10
    111 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - Baltimore, MD

    I picked color swatches and my fiance picked knee length dresses. Other than that, they could do whatever they wanted. Two are in one color, and the third is in another color. But aside from that, no one has the same dress or style.

    Post # 11
    6149 posts
    Bee Keeper

    It actually creeps me out a bit when I see bridesmaids with matching dress, hair, shoes, jewelry, everything. As if they are not individuals at all. 

    Post # 12
    7287 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    veej :  My girls wore dresses in the same color range (not the same fabric or designer) and picked their own shoes (dresses were long so you didn’t see them anyways).  I got them matching earrings but that’s it. They chose their own hairstyles. 

    For the dresses I had two colors in mind when we went shopping. My Maid/Matron of Honor came out of the dressing room in one of the colors I had liked and with a beaming smile said “this dress make me feel AMAZING!” and all the other girls agreed that they’d prefer that color. Boom. Done. They looked amazing and, most importantly, felt as beautiful as I did at my wedding. 

    Post # 13
    4270 posts
    Honey bee

    Oh dear Lord no.  They are your friends, not Stepford wives.  Presumably you appreciate them for their individual characteristics the other 364 days of the year.  Why would your wedding day be any different?  It is absolutely not required.  I absolutely get that it is a “thing” for some, but not a required thing.  I always think it’s a little creepy when people are matchy matchy on everything, personally.  Just get mannequins and call it a day then.  But to each their own I guess.

    Post # 14
    1530 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

    Interestingly the original purpose of bridesmaids in the western context was to match the bride, so that any evil spirits/demons that came for the bride wouldn’t know which was which and hopefully would possess one of the bridesmaids instead. Or just get so frustrated that they’d leave.

    Unless you’re trying to prevent evil spirits from possessing you, bridesmaids do not have to match if you’re not into that look. Personally I like the dresses to match, but when everything matches it gets to be too much. 

    Post # 15
    147 posts
    Blushing bee

    I personally think it looks better when everyone looks different. Maybe a small matching thigh like hair decoration or nail polish that matches. Something small and subtle but that not necessary either.

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