(Closed) Do FI and I pay for bridal party's hotel rooms??

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should FI and I pay for bridal party's hotel rooms for the night of our wedding?
    Yes, absolutely : (6 votes)
    10 %
    No, they should pay : (48 votes)
    83 %
    Other, please explain below : (4 votes)
    7 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee

    If they are within cabbing distance, I wouldn’t feel obligated to pay for their rooms.  Personally, I prefer to fall asleep in my own bed over a hotel if I was attending a function in the city where I live. I would rather spend $40 on a cab, than sleep in a hotel room.  

    Post # 4
    Member
    3461 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Most American brides do not pay for the bridal parties’ hotel rooms, shoes, dress, or hair/makeup (unless the makeup/hair is required by the bride). They probably want to attend the afterparty, but I wouldn’t “require” it of them in any event (if someone doesn’t want to be there, why force it?!).

    Post # 6
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We are not paying for anyone to travel or stay in a hotel.  If you cannot afford to attend the wedding, we understand.

    I traveled to MANY weddings and paid for airfare, hotel, rental car.  All depends on the friendship and my economic means at the time.  I never expected someone else to pay for these costs.

    That being said, I have one friend who has been out of work for years so am working with her to find her lodging with a friend. 

    Post # 7
    Member
    8455 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @starz88962:  My bridal party (1 Maid/Matron of Honor and 1 BM) is in charge of paying for their flight here, but that is their only expense.  I didn’t make them get a dress, shoes, hair, make-up, jewelry, etc.  They are staying with me in our guest rooms.  If I didn’t have a place for them to stay, I would probably pay for their hotel rooms.  If they were local, I wouldn’t worry about it.

    Post # 8
    Member
    134 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    You are too kind! I voted, “no, they should pay.” I have been a bridesmaid in a number of weddings and if I wanted a hotel room for the night, it was understood that it was my responsibility to pay for one. I think that is pretty standard to have attendants pay for their own hotel room, even if you are planning to have a hotel party. For our wedding, we are setting up a hotel block with a hotel that provides a shuttle service and including an “accommodations” card with our wedding invitation. The only situation where I would think that the bride and groom offer to pay for hotel rooms is when it comes to destination weddings.

    As for your other questions regarding what to pay for your maids, I would think that your maids should know that they are responsible for buying their own dress, shoes, etc. If you are planning to have everyone go to the same salon, then you should discuss pricing of hair, makeup, nails with your salon and let the ladies know in advance how much it would cost them if they chose to get those things done. If you REALLY feel that you want to pay for something to help the maids out, then you could always give them a gift certificate to use at the salon as part of their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift.

    Good luck and happy planning! 🙂

    Post # 9
    Member
    12248 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2013

    I don’t think you should HAVE to pay for their rooms! If it’s in your budget it would be a very nice gesture! But you don’t HAVE to!

    Post # 10
    Member
    1612 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    American bridess do not pay for hair, nails, shoes, hotel room unless they require it.  If BMs are free to go home, its on them. 

    Post # 11
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    @starz88962:  I’m torn on this too.  I’m getting married in another state about 4 hours away from where we all live.  I was considering paying for the girls hotel rooms the night of the rehersal dinner (thursday) if they are coming without their SOs.. like getting a big suite so that me & maybe all the girls can stay together the night before the wedding.  Then the night of the wedding, they are all responsible for their own rooms..  We’ll see though, it can get expensive.

    Post # 12
    Member
    1832 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    nope not at all unless you guys plan on making the hotel room their bridal party gifts than I would say yes.

    Post # 13
    Member
    4663 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    no i dont think you have to pay. we didn’t pay for our bridal partys’ rooms. when they accepted being in the bridal party they knew it would be out of town, so they knew what they were getting into. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    1375 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    You do not need to pay for their hotel room, especially if you aren’t requiring them to stay at a specific hotel.

    In regards to hair and makeup and nails – you  must pay if you requre them to get it done professionally.  If they have the option to do their own beautifying, then give them the choice and they can pay or not pay.

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