Post # 17
I have traveled to quite a few destination weddings and I have always gotten the couple a gift, even when the couple has explicity stated that coming to the wedding was more than gift enough.
That said, I’m not expecting much in gifts for ours, as people have already asked us “you’re not expecting gifts, right?” While I do think it is rude to ask this, it at least has given me insight into the mindset of some of our guests.
I’m spending about the same amount as you on our Destination Wedding, and there are times when it makes me go absolutely crazy to think about how much we are spending, but at the end of the day, we WANT this wedding. Anything we can recoup in costs will just be an unexpected bonus.
Post # 18
I am having a destination wedding….it’s in the states but is “destination” for everyone attending…I have specifically asked and had the word spread that there should be “no gifts”. I would feel guilty expecting or receiving gifts from someone who is spening the kind of money they’re spending to come to my wedding. Also….I do NOT want to be traveling home with a bunch of gifts!
To answer your question…if I were attending a wedding and spending that much to come, I would give you a nice card or make a small handmade gift of some sort that didn’t cost a lot. I know it’s not “nice” to come to a wedding empty handed but in yours and my case…the “rules” should be bent in consideration of our guests.
Post # 19
I gave cash on one occasion and a gift another. It depends on the individual or their financial situation. Some people will still send a gift as well even if they are unable to attend. One couple recived lots of homemade gifts and gift cards because some guests couldn’t afford more expensive gifts after paying so much to travel.
Post # 20
If your parents are paying for it then I wouldn’t be concerned about “recoupin” any funds since you’re not really “out” any money….unless you were planning on giving the monetary gifts to your parents? I’m not really sure how this works, we are paying for our own wedding.
Post # 21
I think it’s totally dependent on how much the travel costs. I recently attended a destination wedding. I normally would spend $200-300 on a relative this close to me but spent upwards of $3000 just to attend! We gave them $50…
I do not think they expected any gifts at all though. Quite honestly, after spending that much to travel, it was difficult to even part with $50!!
Post # 22
If I was spending that much money to attend your wedding, I would only give a small gift.
Post # 23
If I came to a destination wedding, I would still give a gift, probably around/at the same price point as if it were a local wedding. If I can afford to fly somewhere and stay at a resort for a wedding, I am sure I can handle a gift too. I say that now, but I have never really been in that situation before, so who knows! I’d love to go to a destination wedding though!
Invite me and I will give you a gift, LOL! 🙂
Post # 24
@Linz1231: Haha! You’re so cute. Of course you can come! 😉
Overall, I do tend to see it more of the point of view (if I were the one traveling to the Destination Wedding, instead of the bride, for example) that if I am willing to shell out $$$ for the travel, what’s another $100 on top of that?
I won’t *expect* gifts, but since most of the guests who will attend will combine it with a vacation, and we are planning to make it a nice multi-day event with dinners, receptions, activities, etc, it will be special than someone having to shell out several hundred dollars + hotel to go to some random town in, say, Iowa (not to knock anyone from Iowa). So, I hope they see it more as that and if they come they see it as a vacation they choose, rather than an obligation they made to me.
I am putting on my wedding website something to the effect of “although you being there is gift enough, if you so choose….” etc.
Post # 25
Honestly, if I came to your wedding I would get you something very small and a very nice card. However, I’m not in an awesome place financially. Maybe if I was, my opinion would be different!