(Closed) Do guests who never RSVP’d ever show up? How do you plan for that?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
4485 posts
Honey bee

If someone doesn’t respond, you need to call them to find out if they are attending or not. You’re not a mindreader and should not be expected to be one. If they don’t respond to you calling them, take that as a no. If they decide to show up anyway, they look bad, not you. Your caterer needs an accurate headcount of those who will be attending, and those folks can’t be bothered to get back to you so your wedding isn’t a priority to them.

Post # 4
3331 posts
Sugar bee

If it were me, I’d keep trying to contact the people.  Ask some other friends/family members to help if you need the extra “muscle” (aka have your mom contact her family, etc).  Personally, I’m too much of a planner to deal with that big of a number of uncertain guests.  I’d keep checking and checking because I’d be too stressed out otherwise.

However, I do know that our venue had a contingency plan, just in case we had more guests show up.  I believe they planned for 5% more in terms of meals/drinks.  We weren’t charged the extra if we didn’t have to use it, but they had something in place just in case.  You should check with your venue to see if they have some sort of contingency plan if you do go over 100.  That won’t help you in terms of favors, but it could cover you for seating and food.

Post # 5
1573 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I say contact them one more time and mention if you dont hear back by this day or that day you will assume it will be a no


a little rude to not get back to you; you have a wedding to plan!!dont they know you need your head count


if they show up guess its mcdonalds round the corner if there’s not enough food, their fault for not contactin gyou

Post # 6
458 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I had 17 that had not sent back RSVP’s and each recieved one email, one facebook message, and two phonecalls.  Last Sunday, we called and left each of them a message stating that we were going to assume they were not attending and if they were able to attend and would like a set and a meal provided for them, we needed to be contacted back via phone by 5pm on Monday.  And you know what, not one of them called. 

Post # 7
349 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

My FI’s cousin got married recently, and they had about 42 guests who never RSVPd, and they never called them and just decided to see if they show up. It was stupid, and seating, we heard, was really tight because of it. Most of them showed, as you can infer.

Always call and call and call until you get ahold of someone! That’s what we plan to do (we’re a week from our deadline and only have about half of them in). Like others have said, get your families involved. We plan on giving my mom’s friends and family to her to contact, and same goes with my FI’s mom’s friends and family. We plan on calling our own friends. From what I understand, this is pretty standard when it comes to RSVP slackers 🙂

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