(Closed) Do I add him to my mortgage?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Should I add FI to my mortgage after the wedding.
    Definitely, even if it increases your costs. : (5 votes)
    7 %
    Yes, only if your interest rates don't go up. : (20 votes)
    29 %
    No, it isn't a big deal for only one of you to be on the mortgage. : (32 votes)
    46 %
    No, you bought the house on your own and it is your home. : (12 votes)
    17 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    860 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    @meginstl: I have a similar situation.  Fiance didn;t have steady income when I bought our house so it was wiser for me to get financed without him.  Now he pays our mortgage and I pay everythhing else.  I want him on the mortgage but I dont want to have any penalties for it!

    Post # 4
    Member
    2871 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: March 2011

    I own the home we are in and it is going to stay that way unless there is a financial gain in adding him to the mortgage.

    In my situation my FI’s credit may increase the rate.  I worked really hard to get the low interest rate I got and I am not going to change that just to make him feel better.  He will feel better knowing we aren’t paying needless interest.

    If it financially doesn’t make sense, don’t do it.

     

    Post # 5
    Member
    6394 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I would be practical about it. It’s not like you’re going to charge him rent :). His mom might be being old fashioned about it and think that you should own your home together, but in terms of how you live your life, it’s not going to make one bit of difference. I wouldn’t end up paying more just to make him feel better.

    If you guys do end up divorcing, you paid for the house so it should be yours, anyway. If you’re paying off the mortgage together, then I’m sure the judge will be made aware.

    Post # 6
    Member
    6015 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    I do know that it helps if you get sued and they go after everything you own… they can’t take the house because it’s in both your names.  I’ll be in your FI’s position as soon as i sell my freaking house, and then move into his.  He just re-financed for a lower rate so we will have to see what happens when trying to add me.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1701 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    I believe you can add him to the title without adding him to the mortgage.  You probably have a small fee for changing the title, but not the $$$ for refinancing.  I don’t think it makes any sense to spend the money to refinance.  A will would probably provide enough “protection” for him in case anything tragic happened to you and someone tried to claim the house (your family member, ex-spouse, children from another relationship, etc).  If you got divorced, you would probably have to either provide spousal support for a period of time (since you were putting a roof over his head) or he would be entitled to half the house anyways.  This depends on the laws in your state.

    Post # 8
    Member
    3375 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    You can definitely just add him to the title. There is a cost to this. You don’t have to refinance.

    Post # 9
    Member
    274 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    @ Georgia Bee – I agree with what you are saying.  I asked about this and the loan officer said you can always add someone to the paperwork without adding him to the loan.  That means YOU would remain financially responsible for paying it, but he gets to own half of it 🙂  How fair does that sound to you?!?!

    I have been in my house for 9 years.  He will move in shortly before we marry.  I love him and obviously plan to be with him for the rest of my life.  I feel that i would be out of my mind if i were to willingly sign over everything i’ve built for the past 10 yrs.  You NEVER know what can happen.  The plan is to pay the house off in 5 yrs.  At that point we will buy another house and that one will be in both of our names. 

    Post # 10
    Member
    1944 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    He does not need to be on the mortgage and no it is not worth it. This is the situation for Darling Husband and I, one name is on the mortgage but both names are on the title. There is a will in place for us for the just in case, but in our state, it would not matter, the surviving spouse receives the house and we took out enough life insurance for the other to pay off the remaining mortgage. Hopefully this will never be an issue and we will have our house paid off in 10 yrs.

    Post # 11
    Member
    116 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think what he and his mother are concerned about is being added to the deed.  Being added to the mortgage does not automatically give you ownership rights, it just makes you financially liable in default.

    If you want to add him to the deed, you can do so without a refi. 

    But, IMO, he doesn’t need to be on either the mortgage or the deed.  You can will him a percentage of your “estate” in the event of your death.  And in the event of a divorce, you should retain your home and equity.  I would personally probably take that a step further with a pre-nup that really spells out ownership.

    Post # 12
    Member
    4480 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: March 2010 - Calamigos Ranch

    Talk to your bank and see what they can do. Just tell them you’re getting married and you’d like to add your husband to the title and the mortgage but you don’t want to refinance and see if they’ll work with you.

    FTR, I wouldn’t do it. I’d sign a premarital agreement, maybe, that acknowledged that the house was a community asset (less your downpayment, if you made a substantial one) and the debt was a community liability, and execute a will that said the same, but if the bank didn’t make it easy and cheap for me to fix I wouldn’t bother changing it with them right now.

    Post # 13
    Member
    1638 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    My husband bought our house before we got married or engaged. I’ve lived in it since day 1. We have discussed adding me to the mortgage but his bank said we would have to refinance and pay extra $ so it seemed silly to us. I don’t feel like I “rent”, I pay the mortgage too and I consider it my house.

    I think you need to talk to your Fiance and see how much of his wanting to be on your mortgage is him and how much is his mom telling him he’s a “renter” and you are his “landlord” in my opinion I’d tell him his mother has no place in the matter and make him sign some sort of pre-nup (if you do put him on your mortgage) since you aren’t currently married and you bought the house yourself.

    Post # 14
    Member
    101 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    We’re in the same place – Fiance bought a house while we were dating and I’ve always lived there and it’s definitely “mine” too, but I am not on the mortgage. At the time (before marriage) it didn’t make sense to me. I certainly didn’t want to be tied to a house together if god forbid we didn’t work out. However, my income certainly goes toward the mortgage, furnishings and everything else … so I am on the title of the house. That just means that he can’t sell the house from underneath me without my signature, and if something were to happen to him, I would get the first crack and refinancing the house to keep it.

    I would say adding him to the title would make the most sense at this point. Once we’re married, I would like to be on the mortgage, because its great for your credit, but I am not interested in paying all the closing costs/fees again… so we’re going to hold off until it makes better financially sense. It’s not our “forever” home anyway, so I will most likely just wait for the next house. 🙂

    Post # 16
    Member
    73 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: July 2006

    As others mentioned, you do not need to refi.  I think this is just a matter of paperwork with the lender.

    I also don’t understand why this is any of his mothers business?

    My husband is not on our mortgage, as I bought my condo when we were single.  I didn’t want to go through the hassle of adding him on, and we plan to sell soon, anyway.

    In any event, his mom has never even asked about this situation.  Did your Future Mother-In-Law ask about your interest rate too?  =)

    I would be worried that she is concerned about business that is not hers to be concerned about, and hope this doesn’t happen with other items in the future with respect to her son.

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