(Closed) Do I include my brothers in the wedding party?

posted 12 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Include my brothers in the wedding party?



    Only the 25 yr old

    Both brothers

  • Post # 17
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2009

    Family matters more than symmetry at the alter. 🙂  I like your 2 groomsmen per Bridesmaid or Best Man idea.

    Post # 18
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: September 2009

    I know you’re in the midst of deciding, but I just wanted to throw this out there: My Fiance and his female cousin are pretty close, and he asked her to stand up on his side. All the guys are wearing navy blue suits, and we got her the same dress as the BMs, but in navy blue. I’ll tell ya, it looks really nice. 

    There days, anything goes with weddings, and it’s becoming more and more acceptable to have the opposite sex stand up with you at a wedding. A lot of people are doing it.

    I would definitely include them, though, one way or another 🙂

    Post # 19
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: August 2009

    My husband is not close with my brothers, though they get along fine, and I am BFF with one brother.  We had them wear the same tuxes and sing a song in the ceremony (they’re quite talented) to include them without having them as groomsmen.  Similarly, his sisters were readers and dressed similarly to the bridesmaids to include them.  There are LOTS of ways to make people feel recognized as close to you.

    Post # 20
    11 posts
    • Wedding: December 1969

    I say you don’t have to include them. I have two brothers that are close with me and my fiance as well but my fiance has already four groomsmen and I have four bridemaids. Our wedding is  only around 120 people and we didn’t want a huge wedding party. Because we still wanted them to be apart of our wedding we asked both my brothers  to be the Master of Ceremonies, they loved that we asked them and are so excited to do it!

    Post # 21
    337 posts
    Helper bee

    Why not make them ushers or ask them to do readings? They should def be involved but they don’t necessarily have to be groomsmen to be involved.

    Post # 22
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We had this same problem, and I solved it by asking my brother to be my “man-of-honor”. Everyone we’ve mentioned it to thinks it sounds like a beautiful idea, even the more conservative ones, so I don’t think that should be an issue. As a symmetry note, including both would also make your sides even Smile I definitely think you should include both.. to choose just one could make the other a little upset. Good luck deciding!

    Post # 23
    3579 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    I don’t believe in forcing anybody to put anyone in their wedding party! I want my Fiance to have his support system up there with him not people he likes but they are only there because I am related to them! 

    IMO if you want them involved have them on your side or give them another position of honour!

    Post # 24
    60 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2010

    Making them bridesmen is a great idea and evens out the numbers nicely.

    Post # 25
    66 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    First – does your Fiance want them standing on his side? Just like I believe it’s the bride’s choice for her bridesmaids, it’s the grooms choice for his groomsmen.

    If he’s okay with it, I don’t see anything wrong with having a lopsided bridal party or having your brothers be ushers. What about walking your mother down the aisle?

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