(Closed) Do I add them to the guest list?

posted 9 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Should we go ahead and add him?
    Yes, he should be invited. : (4 votes)
    20 %
    Wait & see : (11 votes)
    55 %
    No, a wedding is not the time to meet a new b/f : (5 votes)
    25 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    if other cousins get “& guest,” I think this cousin should also get the privilege.  if other siblings get “& guest,” I think Future Sister-In-Law should too.  all is fair in love and weddings!  just my opinion!

    Post # 5
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I would say def. no “& guest” to the cousin then.  If you make exceptions with one then it could possibly lead to more tough decisions!  Explain to Future Mother-In-Law your guest list situation and that you already could be over your guest limit!  She should understand.. 🙂  I think you should wait with your Future Sister-In-Law and if it gets serious, invite him. 

    Now, how the heck do I change my vote?????

    Post # 7
    Member
    426 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I understand!  I’m lucky in that our venue accomodates 300 guests.  I’m actually in a similar situation because half of my guest list will be travelling as well!  

    good luck with your predicament 🙂

    PS I got engaged in Myrtle Beach!  I love it there!

    Post # 8
    Member
    3979 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2012

    Nope! Don’t invite their BFs. No one else is bringing their SO (including your BMs) & you said you cut a lot of family members to get the guest list as it is… so unless these people are engaged or living together: they don’t get an invite.

    If they aren’t happy about it, too bad. Explain that you’re already 20 people over your venues max or tell them they’ll have to share a seat & split a meal.

    Post # 9
    Member
    147 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2010

    With your guest list already high I would tell her your delimma and say maybe you couild not add them to invitations and get back to her after the rsvps. she should understand.

    Post # 10
    Member
    2004 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: November 2008

    I would try to find a way to invite them. This exact same thing happened to me: my husband’s cousin was newly dating someone, and I didn’t include the new boyfriend on the invite. Well, he showed up anyway (miscommunication where she asked my Mother-In-Law, who is her aunt, if he could come, and she said yes without informing me). At the time I was indignant—how could she bring her boyfriend of 5 months to my wedding without express permission!? Now I am totally red in the face. They got married in August—only 9 months after our wedding. And all I could think about at their wedding was how I had been so uncouth as to not invite him to my wedding….

    I understand the limitations of your venue—I would just explain to the Future Mother-In-Law that you want to invite them but that since you didn’t know about them before, you want to make sure there is going to be enough room before you say yes and they buy nonrefundable plane tickets only to have nowhere to sit at your reception. You’ll probably have word on whether it’s possible sooner than you think.

    Post # 11
    Member
    1901 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2010

    I would say that if you are not extending +1s to other family, then NO – you should not add them. But you could wait and see if you get more declines than expected and extend a +1 later if you have room.

    Post # 12
    Member
    7174 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I think if your Future Mother-In-Law made the request, you should take it into consideration.  I completely understand wanting to keep the numbers down, but I’m pro +1, for the sake of the guest fully enjoying themselves and being comfortable.

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