(Closed) Do I ask a bridesmaid to drop out

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
340 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969 - Montsalvat, Victoria

I can see you edited this after posting it so the additional context helps but I don’t think someone looking “terrible” (in your opinion) in the bridesmaid dresses you chose should mean they are kicked out of the bridal party. It comes across as very shallow of you and frankly she deserves a better friend that someone who’s more concerned about her friend gaining weight than what that weight gain might be about. Yes it’s a concern she’s sharing things w people you don’t want her to but that’s a seperate issue imo. It seems like your main concern is how she looks – shallow af. Reevaluate your life outlook OP. 

Post # 3
Member
569 posts
Busy bee

Not unless you want to lose a friend and look like a bridezilla.  I’m guessing this is more about her talking smack than the dress.

Post # 4
Member
1646 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019 - City, State

She’s got everything else I want in a bridesmaid except my trust”

Uh…I didn’t know people looked for qualities in a bridesmaid besides being friends?

“telling another girl that hates me alot of things about my bridal party that I didn’t want anyone knowing yet”

I guess I’m confused what information about your bridal party is so secretive? Who is in it? What they’re wearing? Trust me, nobody cares. And I mean, I don’t really blame her for venting when her dress doesn’t fit and she doesn’t have any options other than lose weight. 

Post # 5
Member
2956 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2018

View original reply
Duska :  So you want your bridesmaid to drop out of your wedding because she is too fat to fit into the clearance bridesmaid dress that you ordered that was too small. No one cares about your top secret bridal party. 

Post # 6
Member
3422 posts
Sugar bee

“…she was so excited and offered to do my hair and work on d.i.y’s.”

        “They all paid except the girl in question. She said she couldn’t afford it. I should have asked            her to step down then…”

“I feel so bad if I ask her to step down because she’s got everything else I want in a bridesmaid…”

Post # 7
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee

Unless she said something really horrible to that girl it just seems like you threw that in your post to take away from the fact that you really want her gone because she’s too big and maybe too poor? 

Post # 8
Member
668 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2021

Pay for her alterations and keep her in the bridal party if you truly care about her.

Post # 9
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

You have got to be kidding. Keep treating her like that and she’ll drop out on her own. 

Post # 10
Member
4061 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

It is way too early in the morning for my WTF face, imma get wrinkles. 

If this is truly how you are, like as a human, you need to take a huge step back and reevaluate yourself and what you value. 

 

Post # 11
Member
14149 posts
Honey Beekeeper

You are the one who screwed up by buying dresses that can’t be returned, in limited sizes, without consulting your bridesmaids as to budget and style. By the way, the only reason bridesmaids pay for the dress in the US is the assumption it will be kept and potentially worn again. If you are insisting on a “theme” and a costume that no one is likely to ever wear in the future, the truth is you should have paid for everyone’s dress. I hope your guests are not being similarly imposed upon. 

Sorry, but this is entirely your fault. I don’t blame her for venting. Also, what kind of “secrets” did she reveal about your bridal party? Ask her to “step down” if you want to lose a friend. 

Post # 12
Member
5464 posts
Bee Keeper

Are you for real? You’re afraid of a good friend looking terrible in your wedding party because her dress is too tight? The last wedding I was in the MoH looked like her dress had been spray painted on her body. No one cared! As for this girl telling someone who hates you something about your bridal party, you obviously told her, so blame yourself.

If you’re so worried about this girl and how she looks ruining your wedding I can only conclude that you have really poor self-esteem. 

Post # 13
Member
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

I feel sad for your “friend”. She sounds like a good person who is excited to assist and dealt stepped up, but you really are treating her like a prop. I hate when people call bridesmaids brag because I don’t usually agree, but it’s glaringly obvious that’s how you view yours. Why did you not ask them their sizes? That’s the first issue among so many others. 

At this point, I hope the girl drops out on her own, but I’m sure she won’t. So you better step up and start treating her like an actual friend. If she looks so bad in the dress per your opinion (sheesh) that’s on you to pay for her alterations. 

Post # 14
Member
1560 posts
Bumble bee

She sounds like a good friend and you sound like a bad one, so either spare her the time and energy of continuing to waste her time on you or take some time of your own to be a better friend. 

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