Post # 1
I decided I have to make my first post, I have searched through tons of posts about dress remorse so please enjoy mine!
My indecisiveness is more because although I wanted to be engaged for so long, I never had ideas in mind for my big wedding day. For the most part I am trying to center my wedding theme on garden/romantic.
To make a long story short, I purchased Pronovias Alcanar with my mom (sorry no pics of me in it). I will admit that I never thought I would be the princess ball gown type bride, my curvy body looked much better in that style than a form fitting lace gown I had originally thought I would get. One of the first dresses I tried was Alvina Valenta 9115. I was at my first dress shopping experience and it was the first dress. It was also more than I was planning to spend, and I keep trying to rationalize that it was too much and to rule it out. However, as the wedding planning process goes on I see that our budget has stretched for some things, and I am wondering…and tourturing myself, especially since I purchased something else.
Both dresses are sweetheart, strapless, chapel train. The Alvina 9115 has raindrop shaped fabric petal details, silk organza and some bedazzling. I like its flirty feel and modernized garden romantic feel. The Pronovias Alcanar is lace and tulle with a big puffy skirt. It is a lot like what I originally thought I would get and although I was a little unsure, I went ahead and ordered it so that I could decide on all the other parts of the wedding.
When I put both dresses on I remember thinking I could see myself in this…the alvina was tried on too early in the shopping experience and was more expensive, and I think I let myself get a little rushed into signing the contract on the pronovias, but is a dress I would be happy to wear on my wedding day, and definitely embodies my garden/romantic theme.
Why am I still comparing these two dresses when I have already bought one of them? I know I have made the decision and should just move on, but can’t let it go. Should I stretch my budget and try to sell the pronovias unaltered when it comes in?Pronvias Alcanar (thank you fellow bee for posting your pic) I plan on having a sparkly sash to suggest the sparkle that I realized I liked after trying the Alvina below.
Alvina Valenta 9115
Post # 3
I LOVE LOVE LOVE the Alcanar!!I think its stunning! But it is YOUR dress and if you feel like its not the ONE, then get the one you love (if you have the budget room)!!!
Post # 4
Honestly, I think it depends on how much money you want to spend. They are both stunning gowns and I understand what it’s like to have dress regret (I’m still not entirely sure about the one I chose). Choosing the Alvina and selling the Alcanar could go really well but what if you aren’t able to recoup enough money and you end up spending way more for your wedding dress then you feel comfortable with?
Do you have enough time to see what kind of price you can get for the Alcanar before you order the Alvina?
Post # 5
Thanks, I love the Alcanar too. I just didn’t have a “Say yes to the Dress” type tearful moment. It was more like is this the dress? Am I really done shopping (after 3 shopping trips)? I am possibly just remorseful about how I handled buying it, being undecisive, scared and taking that happy moment from myself.
Here is what I thought I was going to get:
Jim Hjelm 8663
Post # 6
I love this first dress best but you really should go with what makes you feel wonderful.
I understand what you are going through.
I may become a 3 dress bride.
I bought the first one just because it fit and was cheap. :/
I put $ down on the second dress before I had decided on a theme and it doesn’t go with it. Plus I “mostly” liked it but not 100%
You can’t go wrong with either dress. Theu are both beautiful!
Post # 7
OMG I love your pronovias gown. Its so stunning. So to be honest I vote to keep your current dress!!! 🙂
Post # 8
I signed the contract at that visit, my third shopping trip. My first trip was for that jim hjelm dress and then tried on other styles that were strapless a lines, jhjelm, alvina. I wasn’t prepared to buy anything and realistically they are over my budget. My second trip went awfully and I ended up being very upset the rest of the night thinking I wasn’t going to find something I liked that I felt I looked good in and could afford. Lots of sample sizes were just too small, and I felt like I wasn’t so sure what I wanted after that 8bb3 v neck lace dress was definitely not “the one.” The third trip I narrowed down to the Alcanar and Devenport by Watters. The Alcanar easily edged out the Devenport with the tulle, but I felt like its missing a little something that I am hoping to add with a sparkling sash, ribbon bow tied and going all the way down my back, something I could not do with the Alvina, as its sash is built in.
Maybe I just wish that I reacted differently to buying the dress. The whole situation felt like I was in shock.
Feeling more sure as I post this that I did the right thing ordering the Alcanar…
Post # 9
I think the first dress is beyond GORGEOUS! I personally like it much more than the other.
Post # 10
@mojitolove: I know what you mean. I think its ok to NOT have the tearful “Say yes to the Dress” moment, and maybe because you thought that you “should” have, it kinda got you down. Theres nothing wrong with you realizing that you found your dress after only a few try-ons! IMO, thats waaaaay better than shopping forever and being undecisive because now you have so many choices!
Post # 11
this dress is beyond beautful and you look so pretty in it!!
Post # 12
I much prefer the one you already have, it is stunning 🙂
Post # 13
thanks everyone! I think just dwelling on it was making me feel stressed. putting up this post has helped me to find some relief already. I will see what I can do about getting a picture of myself in the dress. the alcanar picture posted is a fellow bee who really sells the dress well.
I did have feelings while wearing the alvina that while pretty, i couldn’t look at myself in it without thinking about how the extra cost could go towards our new life together – buying a house, future children funds, um, our honeymoon and the rest of the details with the wedding that we have to pay for.
@misschickpea: i think I was literally in shock throughout the whole dress shopping experience. Feeling defeated about trying on dresses, not fitting into samples and just not being the excited bride that is portrayed on tv added to that shocked feeling. I agree its way better to have found something early on than search forever. I was definitely trying to avoid the search forever. I think I wanted a different emotional experience with it all. Also, I didn’t ever think I would be the “princess bride” and that is adding to the disbelief with the dress. It was also just me and my mom the day I bought the dress and maybe I was looking for more reassurance and my sisters and friends weren’t there to weigh in.
I think when I make decisions I internally test myself to be sure this is what I wanted. Like when you can’t decide between two dishes at a restaurant, you make your order and then think I hope this one dish is better than the one I thought about getting. Stupied anxiety!
Thank goodness for this forum to work things out with the support of other brides to be!
Post # 14
this poll is great too!
so far its 100% keep the dress and focus on other parts of the wedding. i would feel awful to tell my mom I/we made the wrong choice, and I don’t think I ever felt like it was a wrong or bad choice. I know the pronovias dress is a dream and will be gorgeous on my big day. There is just so many things to like but only one choice to make for all the pieces of the wedding day puzzle. Maybe dwelling on this is also allowing me to avoid choosing a bridesmaid dress or dresses (with the same color and fabric), and of course what wedding/dress color, and what flowers etc.
Post # 15
Stop shopping woman!!!!
The dress you bought is stunning, I’m being way too opinionated here but I honestly don’t like the second one. Keep it the way it is.
Post # 16
i usually dont comment on dress polls, but I have to speak up this time…the Alcanar seriously looks like it was made for you!!!!