(Closed) Do I call off the wedding? CONFUSED! HELP!

posted 5 years ago in Engagement
Post # 91
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Girl this motherf***er sounds crazy as hell. RUN!!!


Post # 92
10223 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
maebae :  

I wouldn’t be too quick to rule this guy out as a potential serial killer or rapist.  There’s a lot of pathology there and potential for violence.

Post # 93
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Since it sounds like a major factor is your worry about being too old to have children, I just wanted to point out that even if you don’t meet someone else in the 8-12 fertile years you still have (very unlikely), you can always pursue single parenthood by choice. That’s a much better option for you and future children than raising kids with this abusive dbag.

Post # 94
894 posts
Busy bee

4 hours of silent treatment over an iPad…wow. 

He is immature. I have been in a similar relationship, it was so childish and crazy. It dragged on quite a bit before I called it off, which is pretty stupid of me already, but I’ve never once thought of marrying a guy who is still in that stage of life.

Um yes, you should call off the wedding. It’s too soon, far, far too soon for anything serious with this guy. Do you continue the relationship? Only you can answer that, but I’d say a big nope to marriage. Please do not get married just because you want a wedding and some kids…cancel it and get off this forum full of bride-to-bes.


Edit: he may have anger management issues or some underlying condition as well. in any case it’s not your problem nor should you make it your problem. 

Post # 95
360 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2018 - Emerald at Queensridge

You are not “too old.” You have so much life ahead of you, why would you want to spend it with this ahole?!?!?!

Post # 96
64 posts
Worker bee

This guy sounds just like my narcissistic ex, that I’m so lucky to have escaped. Are you in Germany by any chance? Because he met a girl from there and proposed in no time, and this all sounds exactly like stuff he would do.

Google narcissitic personality disorder, you will be shocked.

Best of luck.

Post # 97
1656 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

Yes. You should call off the wedding. You should have him move out and see if you can sort this out as two independent people. But, your are describing a person that is unlikely to change.  He sounds a lot like my friends ex-husband from South American. He got worse and worse over their marriage…devolving to extreme controlling behavior and pushing her friends out of her life. Eventually, he starting throwing furniture at her and, she finially hit her limit. He spent 6 months in jail for assault. She tried to help him. She believed he would imporove. She tried to change him. In the end, the only thing she could do is change her circumstances and change herself. She was 35 when they got divorced. She remarried a few years later and had 3 babies by age 45. It was not easy coming from a culture that expect marriage and babies by a young age, but she is gloriously happy and her kids are amazing.  

Post # 98
1740 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
pinkivy2017 :  30 Years old is young and in my opinion a perfect age to regroup and start over to find someone worthy of you. Don’t let that fear keep you in the wrong relationship. You know you deserve better which is why you brought your story to us. Good luck. 

Post # 99
228 posts
Helper bee

I couldn’t read past the knife part, he sounds absolutely horrible, bee. This relationship is toxic and he needs to get a grip. Please do not marry this man 

Post # 100
975 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Run. Run like the wind! Before he pulls a knife on YOU. He sounds completely unstable and like he is using you. 

Post # 101
1002 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Yes.  Yes, you call off the wedding.

Post # 102
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

You should have never called ON this wedding. How many red flags do you need gallantly waving in your face? It shouldn’t be this hard girl!

Post # 103
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Run run run. 

Pull cash out of your account. Set up a new back account immediately and have your work money deposited there. 

I met DH two weeks before I turned 36. Married at 38. We now have two wonderful children (2.5 and 9 months). 30 is NOT too old!!

Post # 104
3791 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

And THIS my friends is why we never get engaged when we don’t even know the other person.

Post # 105
519 posts
Busy bee

I got to paragraph #2 and said CALL OFF THE WEDDING.

This person is not okay mentally and you went way too quickly.

Kick him out, change your locks, or move during the day while he is out.


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