Post # 1
Last week I was stressing about accessories and this week I’m devastated about some news. 2 nights ago I found out my Grandma’s cancer is back after years of remission. It had spread fast through her entire body and likely has 1-3 months to live. My wedding is in September (less then 3 months away). I am so lost. My Grandma is like a second mom to me, I grew up with her, I lived with her with my mom. I don’t have a father so her and my Grandpa were to walk me down the aisle. Visiting her isn’t easy as most of our family lives by me. Recently, she moved from her farm near us to up North across the country. Roughly a 28 hour drive. I am trying to get time off work to go spend time with her while simultaneously trying to get her transferred to our city with a better hospital, where she is usually treated.
My question is what do I do? I am not even close to being rich but this wedding has cost us about 50 thousand so rebooked it isnt feasible. Not to mention every time I talk to my grandma she is asking about the wedding. Just yesterday I asked her if I could use “something old” from her, and she said, “Grandpa will be there, does that count?” 🙁 At the end of the day I don’t care about the money, I just need advice on what to do please! My family is also telling me not to even think about cancelling it or she would be mad and feel bad. Blah.
Post # 2
Continue with your wedding. Life is for the living, dear. I would be downright pissed if someone canceled their wedding for me.
Unfortunately, people never die at a convenient time.
Post # 3
Firstly, I’m sorry to hear your news.
I’d personally keep the plans as they are, give the lady something to look forward to in the hope her body holds on. I’m sure she’d hate for you to cancel on her behalf, I know I would!
Post # 4
I am so sorry to hear this! It sound as if she would want you to stay on track with the wedding. My thoughts are with you.
Post # 5
- Wedding: November 2015 - Winery
I agree with you. Continue on with your plans, OP. I’m sure you want her at your wedding and if you reschedule, she most likely will not be able to make it. <3
Post # 6
I’m sorry to hear that. 🙁 I don’t know the dynamics within your family, but I know if my family they’d never want me to cancel a wedding over something like that no matter how sad. My grandmother was the type of person who would want everyone to celebrate life.
Post # 7
FI’s father passed 2 months ago and our wedding is in 3 months. It was/is heartbreaking but honestly I think the wedding will hopefully be a happy event his family can look forward to. We will certainly have some remembrance of him at the wedding, but we have to take comfort in the fact that he was so stoked we were getting married and he will be there in spirit.
Don’t cancel anything, I think you’d regret it.
Post # 8
Keep the wedding as planned. Many times older people will hold on to life when they have something to look forward to and then pass shortly after. And just because they give her 1-3 months doesn’t mean much. If she has the fight left in her she can exceed doctors expectations, my dad’s mom was given 3-6 months with pancreatic cancer and fought it for 15 months becuase she had plans and a will to keep going. There’s always the chance the doc’s are right but you can always hold out hope
Post # 9
Leave the wedding where it is, and keep up positive spirits.
15 years ago my Fi’s pa was given 6 weeks to live. He just passed away a few months ago (IE: 15 years on borrowed time, lung cancer persisting!). Miracles do happen, and often in the case of a long terminal illness, people “choose” when to go. You may may still have the happy memory of your grandma being around for your wedding, so just keep hanging on!
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA
Sometimes having something to look forward to can help terminal patients to be happier in their final months/years. I wouldn’t cancel your wedding. Even if she doesn’t live long enough to see it, hearing you talk about it and plan it will bring her joy in the coming months.
Also, keep in mind – doctors aren’t shammen. They can’t tell the future. I once cared for a woman who lived 4 YEARS after her “terminal” diagnosis of 6 months.
Post # 11
I doubt your grandma would want you to cancel your wedding on her behalf. She would probably want you to be happy and get married like you planned on.
Post # 12
Completely agree with this. I wanted to add something similar to my post but couldn’t find a way to do so as eloquently.
Post # 13
I would keep the wedding. If she gets transfered to a hospital nearby, maybe you can visit her the day of your wedding, if you have the time.
Post # 14
I guess I’m the odd one out in the sense that I would expedite my wedding. I would probably hold a small ceremony as soon as possible just to have my grandma present.
And if she happens to be in good health for the big wedding ceremony, then she can attend both.
Post # 15
Im so sorry for you and your family. I would do a small, intimate wedding asap so that she can be there and then still have the big party with a blessing and a small reading to recognise her if she has passed by then. If she is well enough to attend the big wedding then thats amazing – but you’ll probably end up regretting that she wasnt there to see you get married, which you can do something about now – you dont have to wait until september.