Post # 1
Uh-oh, first post! What up, hive!
So here’s the deal: I’ve been with my boyfriend for a little over two years, and it’s awesome. We genuinely enjoy each other, the sex is great, and our dreams for the future match up nicely. The idea of marriage has come up very organically, and much of the wedding talk is very concrete. So much so, in fact, that we’ve picked a date and written a $500 check to the reception venue.
But do I have a ring? Has there been a big deal proposal? No, and no. I’m graduating from college next week (at the age of 28) and he’s been pretty explicit about not wanting to get engaged until I’m through with school.
If we’re in for half a grand and we’ve mentally marked our calendars, does that count as waiting or as engaged? Or as, like, waitgaged? Am I on Team Engaged Ladies or Team Waiting Bees? Whose side do I take when the big food fight breaks out?
Post # 3
Welcome to the Bee!
I think if you’re that far into the details and everything is pretty concrete, you can consider yourself engaged. I considered myself unofficially engaged when I first joined the Bee. We already knew we wanted to get married, knew our date (but had to change it). But it’s your choice 🙂 Hang out on whatever boards you like. I usually just duck when the food fight starts out 🙂
Post # 4
We share the same story!! FI and I (before he was my FI) also booked our venue with a $500 deposit before receiving a ring or proposal! We also said we wanted to wait until after school… so exactly 12 days after graduation we’re getting married!
Congrats!! I hung out on the waiting boards until it was official 🙂
Post # 5
Waitgaged!!! That’s so funny and cute!
Honestly I’d say I consider you as engaged cuz your plans are set anyway. But why not hang out here on the waiting board as well?
I think I am literally waitgaged! I may just start saying that to ppl. We agreed on when we’ll get married and talked about destination venue hunting. He hasn’t asked the big question yet and even though he said he will at some point I have no idea how or when I’ll ever get a ring. But I could care less about engagement as long as I can book my dream venue in time.
Post # 6
I think there are three things in order to be considered engaged, but this is my opinion and others might disagree. I think you have to pick what you consider to be engaged means. For me, I need a ring, an ask, and a date. I have two of the three, so I’m not engaged. I consider myself waiting. If I had cold hard cash down on a place, I might lean closer to engaged than waiting.
Welcome to the Bee!
Post # 7
Hmmm good question- because you have your date and venue booked- I would say you are engaged… but with the I am engaged- people ask to see a ring. So consider yourself engaged but don’t tell many people (to avoid the ring question) until it actually happens.
Post # 8
@sarasouth: Hmmm. Sounds like you’re engaged. But personally, I’d need to hear those 4 special words in order for it to be official.
Post # 9
Hmmm. This is kind of tricky. You don’t HAVE TO have a ring to be engaged. Have you told anyone you’re getting married yet? If so, I’d say engaged.
My husband asked me to marry him in June, but I didn’t get a ring until September. I didn’t tell anyone until I had a ring. I guess I was superstitous. Or maybe I felt I needed proof before I could say I was engaged.
Post # 10
I agree if you have told people I say engaged if not then you are planning but waiting the two weeks etc to be actually engaged. Tricky situation but hey congrats none the less.
Post # 11
I guess I am only kinda waiting (just waiting on the ring now) I say if you are spending money on the wedding you are kinda-gaged as I call myself lol