Post # 1
So I’m throwing together a fast wedding, only 15 guests are invited. All are immediate family. We had a few reasons for doing it this way. 1) Our families live in different countries (US & Canada). 2) We couldn’t afford a big wedding 3)We wanted to marry quickly so we could get the immigration process rolling
So my FI’s family really wants to throw us a celebratory party after the fact, where we can include the rest of the family (aunts, uncles, cousins, family friends, etc..) My mom is also throwing us a reception this summer. I expect to have a total of about 100 guests from all 3 parties.
We actually didn’t want to register at first, considering we only had 15 guests. But now that we know we are having the 2 parties, we thought we would make a small one at Macy’s.
Now, I’m feeling guilty again because I made a full sized registry, with 91 items. I did make a good balance of expensive and affordable things, but I feel like people will be turned off when they see my big list, considering I didn’t invite 90% of the people buying these gifts to my actual ceremony.
Post # 3
Without reading the post, my first thought to your question was no. No one “deserves” a registry at all… That said, I don’t see a problem with having a registry as it’s a guide if people want to get something for you (not mandatory). To be super tactful, I would cut your registry down to what you really want, perhaps half of what you currently have – and then add on to it if people buy things. Also, if you are really worried about appearance of impropriety, don’t include the registry info anywhere. People will hunt it down/ask if they want to know.
Post # 4
we eloped and had a big party after and in hindsight i should have registered because i thought as we eloped we wouldnt get gifts. turns out every gift but one i gave away or donated as i didnt like the colours/style etc. now knowing what i know, people are going to want to give you a gift, this way at least you will get things you like
Post # 5
I agree with everything kay01 said 🙂
Post # 6
Thank guys.. yes the title should have been reworded to read: ‘Is my registry appropriate for my event?’
Post # 7
I feel a PP was a bit harsh. Of course you deserve a registry, and what you have organized sounds very appropriate. Your guests should get you gifts, it’s the right thing to do, and you have provided them with a little “direction” 😉 I say, thumbs up.
Post # 8
I would keep the registry, and keep an eye on it. At the moment you have fewer gifts than guests, which depending on what you registered for might mean you will run out. Personally I like buying multiple small things off of a registry rather than one large item. It completely depends on what you registered for though. And as a guest at a later reception I would prefer to purchase a gift off of your registry, and would still plan on buying one despite not being invited to your very small wedding ceremony.
I assume the majority of guests will only be attending one of the two receptions right? I would feel like maybe you were gift grabby if I had to attend both, but if I read your post right they are for different halves of your new family.
Post # 9
@asscherlover: Yes, exactly. The two ‘after the fact’ receptions will not have any of the same guests, except prerhaps our parents may attend both.
One is Canada, the other in US
@bigcitybee: Thank you for the support. I have been feeling guilty about pretty much every aspect of this wedding.
Post # 10
You can certainly make a registry, although I think it would be most appropriate to keep it modest. I don’t know, I guess I feel like it does look a little gift grabby to have such a large registry and TWO parties.
Post # 11
Why doesn’t a bride “deserve” a registry?? I see absolutely nothing wrong with having a registry to help guests determine what gift they will get you.
Post # 12
That is totally fine! And it will prevent you from getting a lot of useless things. Already two people have gotten us things that were not on our registry, and we have no use for them. I can’t imagine if we had NO registry.
Post # 13
I don’t think 91 items is excessive at all, as long as there is a good range of items for every budget. Heck I’ve seen people post here with 1000+ item registries and many people didn’t even bat an eye…