(Closed) do I force a bridesmaid to buy dress she doesnt like?

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 62
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@VegasSukie:  Hi, I already apologized to the OP for saying I didn’t like the dress, can you please let it go now?

Post # 63
Member
2999 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@Over the Moon:  I think its me their pointing to because I said I thought they’d made it with repurposed bed sheets. By this I did not mean I thought they looked like bedsheets- OP said the creator was ecofriendly or something of the like. Generally speaking- Etsy sellers repurpose which is cool and something I do myself. I figured by the number of dresses in the lot, that bedsheets were probably the source of the fabric. FWIW, I love my bedsheets and would totally wear them!

OP, please don’t take what I was saying out of context. I think they’re nice dresses and I’d wear one myself! What I meant by my original statement was that at that price- I would not be enthusiastic about buying it. It is simple enough to be made by a local seamstress for a lower cost. That’s all. Sorry if that didn’t come across properly.

Post # 64
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Over the Moon:  Have you not read how upset the OP is over these remarks?  I will say what I like as did you, thank you very much!

ETA:  No offense but I really didn’t like how upset the OP “seemed” after reading your unsolicited opinion.  People always jump on others here about this being a public forum and we can say what we want so I was a littled “miffed” by you asking me to “let it go”.  I apologize for being snarky though.  And I’m glad you guys apologized to the OP.

Post # 65
Member
85 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

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@bummbledbee:  I agree, please don’t be discouraged!  You loved them, and you said the majority of your bridesmaids loved them (used the word “love” so definitely not trying to be polite).  I think they’re lovely and they’re earthy, quirky and different IN A GOOD WAY, so if that’s what you’re going for, embrace it wholeheartedly!

I think every DIY/slightly offbeat bride goes through this period of self torment that their ideas are too weird and different and people will judge them so maybe they should just be more “normal” because that’s what everyone’s expecting.  But if it’s in you to have a more unique wedding, the risk-taking is part of it.  Don’t be afraid of judgment and being different, as Dr. Seuss says “the people who mind don’t matter and the people who matter don’t mind.”  Not everyone will have the same tastes as you, but if you truly feel that it’s YOU, then the people that really know you will understand and appreciate it as a reflection of you.  🙂

Post # 66
Member
913 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

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@VegasSukie:  I just don’t see the point in scolding someone after they’ve already apologized. I admitted what I said was uncalled for and I apologized. Continuing to scold me doesn’t change the situation; I can’t go back in time and take it back.

Believe it or not, I didn’t say what I said to hurt the OP’s feelings. I said it to put myself in the position of her BM–that even though I am not crazy about the dress, I would absolutely shut up and wear it happily, and her Bridesmaid or Best Man should do the same. Should I have said that, NO, and I do apologize–but I really honestly was not trying to be a mean girl.

 

Post # 68
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

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@Over the Moon:  Believe it or not I wasn’t scolding you.  I was trying to a.) keep the thread on the topic and b.) help the OP not feel so bad about her choices.  I’m glad you saw the error of your ways though.  Laughing  That being said, just as you have a right to say what you did, I have a right to say what I did.  Just as I shouldn’t “scold” you, you shouldn’t try to censor me.  Let’s just agree to drop it now. K?

Post # 69
Member
2775 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

I didn’t look at the particular dress, but on the Bee we tell brides all the time that the only duty bridesmaids have is to buy the appointed dress and show up clean ‘n sober.  So I do think that wearing the dress of the bride’s choice is not too much to ask.  As a bridesmaid, I fully expect to buy a dress I won’t like and will never wear again.

Post # 70
Member
1990 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@bummbledbee:  I’m going through this saaaaaaaame problem… mine is really just one of my 6 BMs voicing concern over color and her skin tone and I’m feeling so guilty for getting what I want that its really kind of annoying me…

I don’t think she deserves special treatment… it really is YOUR wedding so you should get what you want and she SHOULD be happy making you happy and suiting YOUR TASTE at YOUR WEDDING…. but this is not always the case, I know first hand.

I don’t know what to say really cuz if IIIII was your Bridesmaid or Best Man I would wear whatever you wanted without concern about what I want because its YOUR vision…

Good luck to you!

Post # 71
Member
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Don’t let these other opinions sway you – they could be picking Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses for their girls that you would never want your girls to wear, so it goes both ways.  Don’t make a decision you’ll one day regret!  I still say that the one girl can suck it up, especially since you’ve taken everything into account and been considerate of feelings and budget.  FWIW, I think the dresses are cute and I’ve seen other bees on here post those same dresses that they are planning on ordering for their BMs too, so not everyone dislikes them!  

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