Do I give a gift?

posted 2 years ago in Gifts and Registries
Post # 2
Member
9380 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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londongirl1988 :  I’d still give a check. She’s trying to be polite and probably doesn’t want more clutter in her house. 

Post # 3
Member
4318 posts
Honey bee

We tried this route of no gifts and we really meant it….but almost everyone gave us gifts or money.  Which we were thankful for, but we really did mean that we just wanted them there. 

So you can give them a gift, but they probably mean what they are saying.  

Post # 4
Member
8283 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: Dorset, UK

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londongirl1988 :  I would give money. I feel these days people don’t like to ask for anything, some would be over the moon with money, but would never ask for it. 

Post # 5
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I can’t imagine going to a wedding and not giving a gift. 

Also there shouldn’t be any mention of gifts on the invite, and if there wasn’t a link to her registry on her website it is assumed she would prefer cash to physical gifts. 

Post # 6
Member
61 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

There wouldn’t be any mention of gifts on a wedding invitation. Maybe registries for a bridal party invite that’s thrown in the brides honor. I wouldn’t attend a wedding without giving SOMETHING. In NJ the standard is a gift from registry if you’re invited to the shower hten cash or check for the wedding. I try to follow the “cover my plate” guildlines but I don’t think that’s the same for other areas of the country. Give whatever you’re comfortable with and can afford! Trust me, they’ll appreciate anything and truly mean it when  they sa you being there is enough.

Post # 7
Member
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

We’re doing the same thing as your cousin (no registry and letting people know we don’t expect any gifts), but our coordinator told us we should still put a card box out at the reception because people will want to give money and they feel weird about coming to a wedding empty handed.

Post # 8
Member
14013 posts
Honey Beekeeper

Gifts are supposed to be from the heart. Asking for gifts is a huge etiquette no no, but on your end, of course you should give your cousin a wedding gift. 

No registry implies nothing except you are not thinking of gifts. Traditional etiquette disapproves of even having one. 

Post # 9
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

We didn’t want any gifts as we already have everything we need, and we truly meant it but people still brought stuff of money.

While we appreciated the gesture, some people gave way too much and it felt like we owned them, which is precisely what we tried to avoid. If they specifically asked for no gifts, i say you shouldn’t go above the cost of your plate.

Post # 10
Member
1990 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2016 - Sussex, UK

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londongirl1988 :  We did this, no mention of gifts at all. I can’t think how many times we were asked about gifts/ registries. We ended up with mostly money, some gift cards and a couple of homeware gifts.

Obviously there are mostly US bees here and mentioning gifts is considered tacky but out of all the weddings I have been to our’s was the only one where we didn’t mention gifts on the invitiation. I’ve seen the same money poem at least 5 times and the mother of one of my friends sent a message out saying how much money we should bring to pin on the dress.

Give your cousin money.

Post # 11
Member
5250 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: July 2018

I don’t see why you wouldn’t get her something?? 

Post # 12
Member
14049 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I would never show up empty handed to a wedding.  In this situation, I’d give cash/a check in a card.

Post # 13
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

We went to a wedding once and the couple was so serious about not wanting any gifts they had their parents spread the word that anything that they were given was going to be donated to charity.  

Sometimes people truly don’t want anything but to share their day with them.

Post # 14
Member
5334 posts
Bee Keeper

Money. 

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