Do I give another gift?

posted 1 month ago in Home
Post # 31
Member
771 posts
Busy bee

Oh man this feels familiar – my mom loves throwing parties and BBQs at my parents vacation home in the summer. Thus I’ve had:

HS grad party in 2008

College grad party in 2012

Engagement party in 2019

and now she wants to throw a masters grad / 30th birthday party for me in Summer 2020. 

Keep in mind, between the engagement party and now I’ve also had a shower, a Bach, and a wedding. I’m all for going to another party, but I just don’t want to be the guest of honor again! I feel like people are tired of giving me gifts!

OP your gift is super thoughtful and appropriate. I don’t mind going to things, but at some point it does just feel a little ridiculous 

Post # 33
Member
9589 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

honestly if she came empty handed to your kids baptism (TBH I had no idea a baptism was a gift giving event, but I’ve never been to one–so unless she has that same excuse she knew better and chose not to) I feel she set the tone and you can just be like “cool this is what we’re doing now” and go with just a card…

Post # 34
Member
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - Location

Damn that’s excessive lol NO you definitely don’t need to give more money.

Post # 35
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I have never even heard of a graduation party till now but at this point I’d say she should consider stopping having them – is it not getting embarrassing?? 

Definitely no more cash! 

Post # 36
Member
1824 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My mom insisted on having graduation parties for me for high school, college, and my masters degree.  I wanted to kill her.  I tried to refuse the last one.  Turns out that my brother’s college graduation party was also a “surprise” graduate school graduation party for me.  It wouldn’t have been quite so bad if I hadn’t graduated early from both college and graduate school due to hardly having to work because my parents paid for a lot of it.  Sometimes moms are weird.  I doubt she expects a gift after all that.

Post # 37
Member
639 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2020

 No more cash! At this point you’re practically funding her education! 🤣

Post # 38
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2020

Yeah, this is way too many graduation parties.  I had one for high school and I cannot even remember if I had one for my college graduation, but if I did it was just a small family gathering.  I then went on to get my master’s degree and I would have put my foot down if there was a party planned for that. 

Post # 39
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019

Man, I feel like I am owed some parties!! JK.  I think the gift basket idea is a lovely one.  She is an adult now.  Adults have all sorts of major accomplishments.  We don’t get gifts every time we change jobs, get promoted, etc.  

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