(Closed) Do I have a right to be annoyed?

posted 11 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 17
1882 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I wouldn’t give this a second thought. As the bride she has a million other things to think about and it was probably an accident. You don’t HAVE to go to the wedding-but she probably wouldn’t even put two and two together because the issue is actually so small. I would just forget about it and go to the wedding and enjoy yourself. She probably just wanted to get the invitations out ASAP.

Post # 18
850 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m usually a optimist – could it be possible they outsourced their invites or had other people do it who didn’t know your Fiance personally and in a pinch to get them mailed, didn’t have time to ask what your name was?

Post # 19
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I actually did this on purpose on all non-married couples, regardless of how long they had been with partner. It wasn’t a slight on the significant other, but a purposeful decision to do it across the board. All guests had +1…I think unless the bride/groom are truly friends with both members of couple, I think +1 is fine. In fact, if they are really great friends with both, I would probably send an individual invitation to both.

Post # 20
493 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Similar thing happened to me… only the invitation was addressed to my fiance.  No “and guest”, nothing!  I know how you’re feeling. 

Post # 21
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I wouldn’t even given it a thought..i would just think that they people are lazy.  You can get mad, but what is going to do really?  

Go to the wedding..they are paying $$ for you to be there right? What better revenge is that.  

In reality…the uncle/future aunt… probably just didn’t think.  They may have a ton of things going on in their lives and trying to make things go as fast as possible.  I’m sure that you are pretty busy with things going on in your life and have unknowingly missed something and pissed someone off and they just didn’t tell you. 

Try to positively focus on something else. 

Post # 22
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

Ummm this happened to me AFTER we were married.  My husbands uncle and his fiance sent out invites last week, it’ was addressed Mr OTB and guest.  While they didn’t come to our wedding, they were invited and we saw them a few days prior (they live out of town, and we were all in town for Christmas) and they gave us our gift etc.  So, while I am annoyed, you just have to laugh it off. 

Post # 23
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Your annoyance is justified, but it’s not worth it.  

Post # 24
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d be annoyed.  But don’t let it bother you beyond an eye roll and maybe a little rant about it, people are dumb sometimes and don’t consider the etiquette of invites and things like that.

Post # 25
2640 posts
Sugar bee

I would be annoyed too, especially since they obviously know your name.  However, I wouldn’t let it ge to you.  They probably didn’t do it intentionally.  Maybe they didn’t know how to address an invitation to a non-married couple.  Handle it with grace.  If they made a mistake, no big whip.  But if you make a stink about it, they might just think you’re acting like a jerk, and not know why.

Post # 26
572 posts
Busy bee

I’d be annoyed too! Something annoying happened to us too but I got over it. Some people just have no common sense.

Post # 27
2790 posts
Sugar bee

Absolutely I would and have been annoyed by situations like this. Don’t hold onto it! My BF and I have been together for 3 years, living together for 2. Honestly it makes me feel like people don’t care and are just lazy. You full well know my name and if you don’t know how to spell it correctly I know you have facebook or a phone and both can be used to aquire the required infromation. I wouldn’t say anything but it would still bug the crap out of me.

Post # 28
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This happened to me too. I was really annoyed b/c i’ve been friends w/ the bride for 3 yrs at the time she sent out her invites, rather close friends, we hang out a few times a week. My Fiance was one of her groomsmen and we had just gotten engaged a few months before AND had asked her to be in my bridal party! 

I asked her about it and she said it was “proper” but then i bugged her until she admitted she didn’t know how to spell my long Polish name and was too embarrassed to ask lol i told her i’d get her back when i sent out my invites which i did this week

” Mr. (his first and last name) & Mrs. GUEST (last name)”




Post # 29
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i understand i’d be annoyed too about it…my bff sent me and my fiance an invite to her wedding in the fall and didn’t even bother asking what his last name was so the invite read ms ashley my last name & thomas ugh

yes it sucks that ppl don’t put forth the effort we do but all you can do is smile and nod i guess and let it go

Post # 30
1692 posts
Bumble bee

If you weren’t engaged and living together, I would say let your boyfriend accept the invitation and go without you: I certainly do not tolerate being treated as someone’s accessory!

But since you are practically husband-and-wife, you pretty much have to accept or decline together. If it weren’t a very close relative, I’d say decline. In fact, since it’s two weeks after your own wedding you can always make the excuse that you are “just back from your honeymoon” and not in any position to be accepting demanding social engagements”. That’s a good excuse even if it is a close relative (and even if your “honeymoon” consists of spending the Sunday after your wedding night sleeping late — that’s your business and no-one needs to know what exactly “just back” really means)

But if it’s important to your fiance to go, then go and be gracious. Your good relationship with him is the most important consideration.

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