Do I have a right to be mad? / Etiquette on inviting plus ones

posted 2 weeks ago in Guests
Post # 2
2620 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Outside in Paris

I think if they know you are in a serious relationship they should have extended a plus one to you. Couples often set rules like “no ring no bring” to cut down guests list, I think it’s rude.

Post # 3
2511 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

How big is the wedding?

Post # 5
62 posts
Worker bee

I would be upset. My cousins and my siblings spend holidays together and are fairly close but not super close, but still I can’t imagine this ever happening. If it were a friend or co-worker rather than a cousin I might understand, but with the dynamics of my family, it’d be pretty damn rude. Not sure what your family dynamics are.

Post # 8
171 posts
Blushing bee

Have you asked your cousin if she might have made a mistake and forgot to invite him?

Personally, I would think twice about going to that wedding if your SO isn’t invited. Would your cousin miss you in a sea of 300 people?

Post # 9
396 posts
Helper bee

No ring. No invite.

Post # 10
45822 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Your SO is not a” plus one”.  You are in a long term relationship. He is your SO and should have been invited.

“Plus ones” are dates for truly single people.

ETA Having seen so many examples of poorly addressed invitations, I would call your cousin and ask if he invitation was meant for the two of you.

Post # 13
215 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 1983

Why honor their relationship when they don’t respect yours? Don’t go.

Post # 14
41 posts
  • Wedding: May 2018

I’ve been on the receiving end of the lack of invitation just because I was not engaged – it definitely hurts.  My cousins always invited my boyfriend to their weddings but one year one of his cousins was getting married (we had been together for 7 years at the time) and I still didn’t get invited; even though I’d been with him since I was 16.  Now, we are engaged and I still think about that cousin of his who snuffed me for an invite.  Of course, it is the person’s wedding so they get to invite whoever they want – but it doesn’t mean feelings won’t get hurt, unfortunately 🙁 I am sorry your SO was not invited.  I hope a solution can be worked out.

Post # 15
7414 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

This is really the etiquette faux pas I truly care about. Anything else, I might roll my eyes but I won’t dwell on it. Not inviting an SO is so beyond rude. It’s basically saying “Come celebrate me and my love and bring me a gift but I’m going to refuse to even recognize yours.”

Just fuck that. I had a smallish (60 Guests) wedding and still managed to make room for every SO of my guests. It doesn’t matter if you’ve been together 10 days, 10 weeks, or 10 years. It doesn’t matter if you are dating, engaged, or married. If you consider youselves in an exclusive relationship your SO is invited, period.

I would not go. I’d spend my time and the money I would’ve spent on a gift on a nice night out celebrating my own love.

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