Do I have a right to be mad? / Etiquette on inviting plus ones

posted 2 weeks ago in Guests
Post # 106
Member
516 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

carolinagirl1217 :  Seriously.  I mean you aren’t allowed to get engaged around her wedding? Please, that is a whole new level of crazy.  Now BTW, they run the risk of this drama putting a dark cloud over their wedding.  If it where my mom she would be so salty and be gossipy as shit.   

Post # 107
Member
2694 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Glad you decided not to go, what a bellend

Post # 108
Member
2785 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Send her a Thor action figure. 

With a wedding card.

Let the card say: I kept Mjölnir. 

 

Post # 110
Member
200 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2019 - Southampton, Hants, UK

Oh, yes. This crazytrain is all your cousin’s doing. I’m glad you’re not going and that you know the truth of the matter.

Post # 111
Member
596 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

hikingbride :  I mean, if you didn’t get your own invitation, are you supposed to bring a gift? Wouldn’t one be brought on behalf of the family, not from each individual person? Regardless, I think this guy should have been invited, but if I’m not expressly invited IE, I’m late 30s, and someone sent an invite to “the Nelliemade Family” had it shipped to my parents house, I wouldn’t even go. I’ve had my own residence for years, and am my own family unit at this point.

Post # 112
Member
202 posts
Helper bee

Oh hell no. That’s psychotic. Your existence is a distraction, but only if you bring your soon-fiance? 

Post # 113
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

carolinagirl1217 :  Oh boy!! I’ll be honest…I originally thought this was some sort of poorly executed decision on consistency in invites/guest list too big scenario. I am flabbergasted reading the explanation for your SO’s lack of invite.

I am glad you sought out an explanation, and am absolutely appalled at this bridezilla behavior. The snarky vengeful part of me wants you and your SO to get engaged on some super romantic date on their wedding day!! 

Post # 115
Member
244 posts
Helper bee

carolinagirl1217 :  Retaliation and vengeance is never *actually* a good idea. Just fun to think about lol.  Always better to take the high road! Keep us posted how this plays out!!

Post # 116
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

Wow! Shes such a (insert whatever word you please – they will all fit). That is NOT a reason to not include your SO. 

I completely agree with your decision not to go after your update. However, it would be nice if you got super done up and danced the night away alone – all eyes on you! Ugh shes such a (insert an even worse name here)

Post # 117
Member
8981 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

ctbxbee :  “I’ve come up with a bunch of petty scenarios about how to retaliate against her, but I’m going to try to refrain from that. I guess I don’t want to prove her right”

The very best revenge is to act beyond reproach. The last thing I would say, while declining the invitation, is how disappointed, hurt, and upset  you are to hear that she thinks you would ever behave that way. 

Post # 118
Member
70 posts
Worker bee

JTalk about a spoilt princess!!!!!! Wow that is no way to treat you at all, what sort of bitch thinks that way!! 

I would get all your family members who are mad at her to upstage her on her wedding day 

hold your head up high OP

Post # 119
Member
396 posts
Helper bee

One of my good friends, and I use the word “good” loosely.  Told me that she wanted me in her wedding,  but wasn’t going to put me because it was her day and she wants all eyes on her.  At the time I had gone through a very bad breakup and was not in a position to date and she said that people always ask about me and why I’m not married because I’m pretty and come from a great family.  I just told her I’ll wear a bag over my head at her wedding haha. 

Was is hurtful to be left out of the bridal party? Yes, but I still attended all the festivities. Some people are like that. Im not saying its right. They dont understand that they are the bride that day and all eyes will be on them.  These are the same people who overdress in an attempt to upstage the bride/bride to be. She tried to do this at my engagement, and it failed miserably.

Its your choice not to go, and I would probably feel the same, but I think I would go for the sake of family. Some people will always be stupid and hopefully she will realize how dumb her statements were.

Post # 120
Member
219 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Honestly? I wouldn’t go. If you have the option to speak to the couple/hosts about it, I would do so, but I would be miffed if I were in your situation as well. No ring no bring is outdated AF.

Personally I am finding it irksome to have to invite or make space for guests that don’t exist yet–in other words mostly for my fiance’s single friends. Since some are his groomsmen we’re saving the opening for whomever they bring, just to be accommodating.

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