Post # 1
I got engaged back in November 2010. We booked our wedding date in late November- date is 10/14/2011. My fiance and I are paying for about 98% of our wedding, and it is really causing us to be strapped for money. We’re already forced to take out a small loan to even go through with the wedding (long story, parents decided not to contribute as much as they promised).
One of my bridesmaids got engaged within the last week. She sent out an email to a couple of close friends and myself explaning that she’s planning on having a late August or early September wedding. At first, she asked us if we would pay to fly to Italy for their wedding. But then said it would probably be a destination wedding to a place that’s about 3+ hours from us. I looked up the place and it’s about $300 to even stay in the hotel.
I’m really worried and upset that I can’t even afford to go to this wedding, let alone be in it if she asks me. Had I known a close friend was going to plan her wedding around this time I never would have planned my wedding so quickly after hers. Am I crazy? I suppose I’m overreacting because I’m so stressed out about the money situation. But what would you do??
Post # 3
1. Breathe, it sounds like it hasn’t been decided yet so no need worrying about what hasn’t happened yet.
2. You don’t have to stay at that hotel do you? Find a cheaper option.
3. If all else fails, just don’t participate
Post # 4
One question. Is the hotel you price-checked the only hotel in the area? Theres bound to be cheaper alternatives. Just because the venue is in that hotel, doesn’t mean you have to stay there.
Post # 5
Good question. I will have to research it. I suppose we could always go to another hotel.
I guess I’m more upset about the fact that I’ll have to say no if she asks me to be in the wedding. I would love to be in it, and would be happy to spend whatever it took to be in it, but AFTER my wedding.
Thank you for the advice. I guess I need to take a step back, and see what happens.
Post # 6
If she asks you to be in it, I would just tell her no and explain how strapped you are for money with your own wedding. Everyone knows that being a Bridesmaid or Best Man is expensive, and it’s better for you to explain your situation up front than try to do it and have to back out later.
I agree with price-checking hotels around the area, there’s always a Super 8 :). She won’t care whether you’re in the same hotel as other guests on her wedding night I’m sure.