Post # 1
I live abroad. My friends who all live back in my home country are arranging a weekend together in a town in my home country (to celebrate all of us having turned 30 this year). I told them from the start that I won’t be able to afford to come as it involves flights and renting a car to drive to where they want to stay. I got told by one of the girls in this group that they all really wanted to come and that I wouldn’t need to rent a car, someone would collect me from the airport. So I agreed and booked a flights.
This weekend away is now less than 2 weeks away. The other day I messaged into our whatsapp group to ask about being collected…the girl who original told me it would all be ok and they would arrange for someone to collect me has decided she’s now arriving by train so can’t pick me up. One girl replied saying ‘it’s like an hours drive…’ so i said I would look into renting a car (i can’t get the train because I land so late they aren’t running). I land at 11pm..the car places shut at midnight…I know that gives me an hour BUT I am flying with a budget airline who are always known for being delayed. Out of curiosity I looked up how this flight did last week and it landed at 12:30am. So I let my friends know this and no one really offered anything. The girl who is now getting the train was looking at night buses I could take to arrive, might mean a lot of switching buses and a long night of travelling there.
The thing that upsets me is that since living abroad and having visitors, I will ALWAYS collect them for the airport and drop them off (its about 40 mins by car). The last time I friend came to see me she landed at 1:30am and I was there waiting for her at the airport.
Maybe I am upset because I am overtired. I don’t know. What do you guys think?
Post # 2
I think if they said you could be collected and now won’t arrange anything that’s rude. It’s something they should have sorted as soon as you knew which flights you wanted to book to save you wasting money if you can’t get there wIt bout being picked up. I’d be contemplating not going at all in your position.
Post # 3
worriedbeehere11 : I can see why you’re upset since they previously comitting to picking you up, but as an adult I think you can figure out your own travel plans. If you can’t afford an uber/taxi, then take the bus and deal with the transfers.
I like about 40 minutes from the airport and always pick my friends up when they come to visit, but I also have gone to see one of these friends who lives about the same distance and I’ve taken an uber.
Post # 4
I think visitors are different than an actually joint planned trip where everyone is in the same boat.
I also think generally you aren’t obligated to pick people up from the airport in the middle of the night – so stop if it makes you feel better. Life isn’t tit for tat. I will only do it for people who sleep in my same bed or contributed to half my DNA. Any time I have flown in or out and it has required being at the airport before 7am or after 10pm, I call a cab. I don’t expect people to lose sleep because I decided to book a flight that leaves or arrives during those times. Hell, half the time I take public transport or a cab anyway – especially if it means someone taking off work or sitting in horrendous traffic.
I think it was probably a bad call to go booking flights for something it seems you could barely afford in the first place without firm and specific plans in place (not just the presumption from someone else that someone from the group would be willing to do it).
Can you change your flight? Or arrange a cab or uber or similar? Is absolutely no one driving or renting a car?
Post # 6
worriedbeehere11 : That’s pretty shitty. Where I live it’s well over an hour to the airport (I think 1 hour 40 minutes during a weekday) and on top of petrol and parking (parking is like $20), you also have to pay over $50 for toll roads. I will always offer to pick up friends/family from the airport, and refuse any attempt to pay for the expense.
That said, maybe your friend said they could arrange transport for you, because they really wanted you to come? Not the right thing to do of course.
Is it possible to get a cheap room for the night local to the airport, and commence the travel in the morning?
Post # 7
You expected someone to come grab you at 11-1230?? I would never book s flight to land that late and expect someone to grab me. Obviously they wanted you there and shouldn’t have agreed to something they would later back out on… but c’mon.
Post # 8
This is how to completely fall through as anyone who cares and keeps your word. What a letdown. It’s the followthrough that really shows what kind of person you are. I’d be real fuckin annoyed that I counted on these flakes to help me with something I couldn’t fucking afford in the first place.
Post # 9
youngbrokebride : $50 in tolls??!! That is crazy. I am annoyed that we pay about $3.75 (one way) in tolls to get to our major airport (about 1hr20mins away). Thank goodness for the invention of electronic transponders so you can buzz through tolls lanes instead of stopping at manned kiosks, hope you have that (or toll by plate?) where you live to minimize time lost on the tolls.
OP, I would be pretty upset with my friend group as well. Of course you are an adult who can sort her own transportation (as someone else suggested you needed to do), however I think you did that when you originally told the group you couldn’t afford the trip due to rental car costs and the group members informed you they would pick you up and drive you around. Not sure what you can do about it now if no one is willing to help you out, except unfortunately shell out for a rental. It would be the last time I made expensive plans with such unreliable friends however.
Post # 10
Personally, I would be looking into what kind of refund I could get on my plane ticket. I always do what I say I’m going to do, and people who don’t, really annoy me.
Post # 11
sable : Yeah Melbourne, Australia. The tolls are killer expensive here (though that is in AUD) I have 2 toll roads each way to the airport and have to drive the whole length of both of them, and my ute is considered a “commercial vehicle” even though it’s only used for private use, so it’s extra expensive.
Post # 12
It sucks, I feel for you! Perhaps you can still persuade your friends. Obviously you have the most travelling to do and an hour’s drive isn’t that long, even during the night. Prepare a gift for appreciation maybe. I don’t think it’s asking too much, like a lot of the PP-s have said, we are all willing to do this for friends, maybe they would be too. Keep asking and good luck! 🙂
Post # 13
youngbrokebride : you sound like a very good friend.
OP, I hear you. I’m a fellow bee who also lives abroad. I think this has made me realise who my true friends are. I don’t agree that it’s bad that you were ‘expecting’ to be picked up that late…for a start it sounds like you never asked to be picked up, it was offered, plus it also sounds like you have a long journey to see them. Even if your flight isn’t long, you still have to be there a few hours before, go through security etc etc. They sound like they really want you there, if they want you there that badly they can pick you up.
Post # 14
I think they’re being really rude.
I would push a little harder in the group – emphasize that you were told you would have ride and it’s going to be really tough not to. Be polite, but make it clear they are screwing you over. Of course, generally, you can’t just expect a ride, but you were told you would have a ride and made plans based off that promise…so duh, you should be able to count on it.
Not sure who all these bees are that don’t pick up their friends from the airport. I always pick up, regardless of time of day.
Post # 15
I would send another message to the group, emphasizing that I made the flight plans based on the assurance I had received that I would be picked up and requesting that someone come to get me. I would also look into other transportation options (however, catching fucking buses would be a deal breaker for me and I’d prefer to pay money to change my plane ticket to another destination to visit in the next year or so, if possible).
I would also check with the airline about how easy it would be to get a refund on my ticket OR change my ticket to use it to go to a different destination at some point in the next year. Depending on the responses I got and on how I felt, I’d decide if I wanted to follow through on this trip or just plan to take a different trip with this same ticket.