Do I have a right to be upset?

posted 1 year ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
752 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: City, State

I think if they said you could be collected and now won’t arrange anything that’s rude. It’s something they should have sorted as soon as you knew which flights you wanted to book to save you wasting money if you can’t get there wIt bout being picked up. I’d be contemplating not going at all in your position.

Post # 3
Member
2917 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

worriedbeehere11 :  I can see why you’re upset since they previously comitting to picking you up, but as an adult I think you can figure out your own travel plans. If you can’t afford an uber/taxi, then take the bus and deal with the transfers. 

I like about 40 minutes from the airport and always pick my friends up when they come to visit, but I also have gone to see one of these friends who lives about the same distance and I’ve taken an uber. 

Post # 4
Member
4496 posts
Honey bee

I think visitors are different than an actually joint planned trip where everyone is in the same boat.

I also think generally you aren’t obligated to pick people up from the airport in the middle of the night – so stop if it makes you feel better.  Life isn’t tit for tat.  I will only do it for people who sleep in my same bed or contributed to half my DNA.  Any time I have flown in or out and it has required being at the airport before 7am or after 10pm, I call a cab.  I don’t expect people to lose sleep because I decided to book a flight that leaves or arrives during those times.  Hell, half the time I take public transport or a cab anyway – especially if it means someone taking off work or sitting in horrendous traffic.

I think it was probably a bad call to go booking flights for something it seems you could barely afford in the first place without firm and specific plans in place (not just the presumption from someone else that someone from the group would be willing to do it).

 Can you change your flight?  Or arrange a cab or uber or similar?  Is absolutely no one driving or renting a car?

Post # 6
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

worriedbeehere11 :  That’s pretty shitty.  Where I live it’s well over an hour to the airport (I think 1 hour 40 minutes during a weekday) and on top of petrol and parking (parking is like $20), you also have to pay over $50 for toll roads.  I will always offer to pick up friends/family from the airport, and refuse any attempt to pay for the expense.  

That said, maybe your friend said they could arrange transport for you, because they really wanted you to come?  Not the right thing to do of course. 

Is it possible to get a cheap room for the night local to the airport, and commence the travel in the morning? 

 

Post # 7
Member
6582 posts
Bee Keeper

You expected someone to come grab you at 11-1230?? I would never book s flight to land that late and expect someone to grab me. Obviously they wanted you there and shouldn’t have agreed to something they would later back out on… but c’mon.

Post # 8
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018 - -

This is how to completely fall through as anyone who cares and keeps your word. What a letdown. It’s the followthrough that really shows what kind of person you are. I’d be real fuckin annoyed that I counted on these flakes to help me with something I couldn’t fucking afford in the first place.

Post # 9
Member
439 posts
Helper bee

youngbrokebride :  $50 in tolls??!! That is crazy. I am annoyed that we pay about $3.75 (one way) in tolls to get to our major airport (about 1hr20mins away). Thank goodness for the invention of electronic transponders so you can buzz through tolls lanes instead of stopping at manned kiosks, hope you have that (or toll by plate?) where you live to minimize time lost on the tolls. 

OP, I would be pretty upset with my friend group as well. Of course you are an adult who can sort her own transportation (as someone else suggested you needed to do), however I think you did that when you originally told the group you couldn’t afford the trip due to rental car costs and the group members informed you they would pick you up and drive you around. Not sure what you can do about it now if no one is willing to help you out, except unfortunately shell out for a rental. It would be the last time I made expensive plans with such unreliable friends however. 

Post # 10
Member
866 posts
Busy bee

Personally, I would be looking into what kind of refund I could get on my plane ticket. I always do what I say I’m going to do, and people who don’t, really annoy me.

Post # 11
Member
1679 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

sable :  Yeah Melbourne, Australia.  The tolls are killer expensive here (though that is in AUD)  I have 2 toll roads each way to the airport and have to drive the whole length of  both of them, and my ute is considered a “commercial vehicle” even though it’s only used for private use, so it’s extra expensive. 

 

Post # 12
Member
99 posts
Worker bee

It sucks, I feel for you! Perhaps you can still persuade your friends. Obviously you have the most travelling to do and an hour’s drive isn’t that long, even during the night. Prepare a gift for appreciation maybe. I don’t think it’s asking too much, like a lot of the PP-s have said, we are all willing to do this for friends, maybe they would be too. Keep asking and good luck! 🙂 

Post # 13
Member
590 posts
Busy bee

youngbrokebride :  you sound like a very good friend. 

OP, I hear you. I’m a fellow bee who also lives abroad. I think this has made me realise who my true friends are. I don’t agree that it’s bad that you were ‘expecting’ to be picked up that late…for a start it sounds like you never asked to be picked up, it was offered, plus it also sounds like you have a long journey to see them. Even if your flight isn’t long, you still have to be there a few hours before, go through security etc etc. They sound like they really want you there, if they want you there that badly they can pick you up. 

Post # 14
Member
367 posts
Helper bee

I think they’re being really rude. 

I would push a little harder in the group – emphasize that you were told you would have ride and it’s going to be really tough not to. Be polite, but make it clear they are screwing you over. Of course, generally, you can’t just expect a ride, but you were told you would have a ride and made plans based off that promise…so duh, you should be able to count on it. 

Not sure who all these bees are that don’t pick up their friends from the airport. I always pick up, regardless of time of day. 

Post # 15
Member
6155 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I would send another message to the group, emphasizing that I made the flight plans based on the assurance I had received that I would be picked up and requesting that someone come to get me. I would also look into other transportation options (however, catching fucking buses would be a deal breaker for me and I’d prefer to pay money to change my plane ticket to another destination to visit in the next year or so, if possible).

I would also check with the airline about how easy it would be to get a refund on my ticket OR change my ticket to use it to go to a different destination at some point in the next year. Depending on the responses I got and on how I felt, I’d decide if I wanted to follow through on this trip or just plan to take a different trip with this same ticket.

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