Do I have a right to be upset?

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 16
689 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

You were offered to be collected from the airport and hence, you went ahead and booked the flights, but now she decided she couldn’t pick you up. Yes, I find that quite rude and I would be upset too if I were you. They all knew you couldn’t afford the trip, but wanted you to come anyway and that’s why they offered to pick you up.

Could it be they thought your flight was going to be earlier, but now that they know the actual landing time, they’re backing out because it’s too late? Still a crappy thing to do to go back on her promise.

Depending on whether you still wish to go on the trip, maybe you could follow PP’s advice and rent a cheap motel room for that night, and continue with the traveling the next morning?

Post # 17
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I’d honestly send a message on the group as PPs have suggested and say I can’t afford it, and emphasise that I only booked the flight because I was assured I’d get picked up. If there’s still no response, I’d look into refunds on the ticket and simply not go.

Post # 18
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2019

When you fly internationally you can’t always assure you’re going to land at a convenient time. They said they’d pick you up so yes you’re right to be upset.

Post # 19
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2018 - City, State

That’s lame.

I’ve picked people up at 2am that are just mates. 40min drive one way. 

It’s real awkward too because they want to hang out but not come pickup, and then expect to have a great weekend without any awkwardness? 😶

Post # 20
1489 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2019

Ugh that is annoying and you have the right to feel how you feel. I am sorry your friends haven’t been more supportive. Maybe reach out again to ask for help, if they’re good friends than they should be able to accomondate. 

Post # 21
998 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’d just chalk it up to a lesson learned: don’t count on generic promises made by one person on behalf of others. The time to confirm pickup was when booking the flight: “I’m looking into a flight landing at 11pm on date. Is anyone able to pick me up at that time?” No specific commitment = no booking.

If you can’t make it work financially, look into cancelling the trip. If you can afford it, I’d personally just book an airport hotel for the night and deal with the rest of the trip the next day.

I would never expect anyone to drive an hour each way to get me at that time of night, especially with a flight that more realistically doesn’t get in until 12:30. That’s a really miserable night for someone on a regular sleep schedule.

Post # 22
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2018

I would be upset too. 

Whether everyone else feels you have a right to be upset or not is dependent on subjective POVs. But if I was in your position, I would also be upset. 

Post # 23
260 posts
Helper bee

I would never have been expecting to been picked up at 11 or 12:30.  When they said they would pick you up, I bet they meant *at a normal human hour* not whenever your budget airline decides to get there. It was your choice to book something that got in at an unreasonable time, not theirs.

ETA but i definitely would have confirmed before booking via a message stating my intending arrival time.  Then if someone said they would pick me up and didn’t, I would be LIVID.

Post # 24
1501 posts
Bumble bee

You’re 30 years old, sort out your own transport. I wouldn’t expect my friends to drive for an hour at night. If you really don’t want to catch the bus I’d just not go, can you get a refund on flights?

Post # 25
3066 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

Yup – I’d be pissed off too.

It’s not about not being able to arrange your own transportation or take care of yourself, like some PPs are saying… it’s about the fact that you made a decision based on a promise that has now been broken. That’s not cool.

Post # 26
13655 posts
Honey Beekeeper

The person in the group who told you that someone would pick you up is the person you should have contacted to confirm as soon as you were about to book.

For her part, don’t make offers you aren’t prepared to honor. I’d speak to this friend directly, since she’s the one who told you you could rely on transportation. She was inconsiderate if she did not advise you of her own change of plan before you booked. I wouldn’t feel safe with her suggestion to take multiple busses with luggage alone in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar country, either. 

If it’s not something you can afford or feel comfortable doing, then I’d consider canceling the trip or getting credit for a change of itinerary and date.

In her place, I’d feel responsible enough to pay for your Uber or cab. 

Post # 27
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I always help friend or family out to pickup or even drop off at the airport, sometimes that means I’m driving 30 minuets to pick them up and then drive to the airport. I mean that’s just apart of being a friend but now that Uber is available most people just take that which is great. I do think the one who switched to the train is really trying to be helpful since she is also now looking about bus schedules for you but the one who said it’s an hour away is being rude. What the heck is an hours drive to help pickup a friend to go on the same trip as you?! 

Post # 28
2387 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it was shitty of your friend to insist you come, offer to come get you, and then change her own plans so she could not get you and just hope that someone else (who did not make the offer) would be willing to do so. She sounds like an inconsiderate flake. I think it’s fair to be annoyed with her.


If the cost of the ticket can’t be refunded (and I’m guessing it won’t be), you’ll have to decide what is lesser of the evils- losing money on a plane ticket you won’t use, or dealing with the hassle of either night buses, additional costs of a rental car and driving 40 min at midnight, or an annoyed friend grudgingly making the trip to collect you.

Post # 29
4207 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - Canada

I would be choked OP. I would cancel my flight and send a message to the group that said “Hey guys, I’m sorry but I cant make it.  I booked flights on the promise of not having to rent a vehicle and since that’s not an option anymore, I really cant make it work financially. I really wish I could come celebrate with you, but have a drink for me!” 

Post # 30
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2018

i feel bad for you bee. they shouldn’t have said that at the first place and then back out the last minute. but i think you should also booked a flight that landed earlier than yours, and at least you can try to look for a rental car your friend suggested. but i do agree that when a visitor came to your country or city, you’re not really obligated to pick them up, and if you did picked them, you can’t expect they did the same to you. because you do understand that people has their own business to settle right? i’d suggest that you don’t expect too much so that you won’t end being disappointed very often

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