(Closed) Do I have a right to be upset? Bridesmaid’s wedding

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

It’s normal to feel upset (as a lot of women do in situations like this)… but you’re gonna hear the same thing from a lot of bees on here – you get ONE day that is yours and you can’t really control what others do for their wedding. You have several weeks in between the weddings and yours will special in its own right.

Post # 4
Member
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Um not really people can get married when ever. Id express your concern to her. If not then you just have to live with it. It is what it is.

Post # 5
Member
5075 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

You each get one day.  You don’t get to block off a period of time around your wedding.  Smile

I understand you being upset about her “taking cuts” so to speak, but let it go.   

Post # 6
Member
1736 posts
Bumble bee

I can understand why you might be a little bit upset, but the fact of the matter is, as brides we don’t have a hold on the months surrounding our wedding. We are entitled to the one day of our wedding and nothing else…so you need to let it go and just be the wonderful friend you are. I doubt she’s going to end up doing a Thanksgiving wedding (think of all the people that will decline because they have family traditions) so chances are her date will fall after yours anyway. Be the supportive, kind and wonderful friend you know you are and let the cards fall where they may.

Post # 7
Member
1361 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I understand why you’re upset, but no, you don’t have a right to be.  If you may not be able to attend her wedding in November because of the expense of traveling or needing time off, then tell her that, and she can either move the date or just assume you won’t be there. 

Post # 8
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Like what everyone else is saying, it is understandable to be a little upset about having it a few weeks before yours.  But if she is getting a Great deal for this venue, then you have to be understandable as well.

Post # 9
Member
2725 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Sorry but you get one day. That’s it. There’s nothing wrong with having emotions about it and identifying why you have them.

Post # 10
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Its her wedding, its not about you.  Sorry that sounds harsh, but what I mean is I’m sure she didn’t intend it to be so close to yours, its just when its worked out for her.  Yes it sounds stressful, but is she taking off time for your wedding?  Because you can’t really be upset that you have to take off time if you want to be involved in hers.  You’d probably have to anyway, even if it were another time of year since you live 900 miles apart.

Post # 12
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I can understand feeling upset but unfortunately you can’t control her decision. What you can control is being a part of her wedding. If she asks you to be in her bridal party, I would respectfully decline with reasoning along these lines: “you know how hard and time consuming planning a wedding is. Since that is just a couple weeks before my wedding, I’m afraid I will just have too much going on to devote the time to  be in a wedding party that you deserve on your wedding day.”

This way you’re saying it without really saying it. If other people have already committed to your wedding and are also asked to be part of hers and she keeps hearing the same thing, maybe she will reconsider.

 

Post # 13
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I definitely can understand being a little annoyed about it being before your wedding even though you were engaged first.  That’s natural.

Actually, I would be more annoyed with the Thanksgiving weekend travel part while you’re trying to pay for your wedding AND don’t have days to take for it.

Post # 14
Member
1130 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@candykiss:  Agreed. If you can’t be in it because it’s too stressful financial or otherwise, just politely decline. Can you move your bridal shower to around the time when she is getting married so that you don’t have to make 2 trips?

Post # 15
Member
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

@Mrs. Fireworks:  Could not agree more!

And I’m assuming she chose this day because of the deal she is getting not out of a desire to be first.

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