(Closed) Do I have a right to be upset?

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 17
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Sorry Cece, I think you have every right to be upset they might not attend your wedding because of it and because you want them to be there but you can’t expect them to focus on your wedding the same way that you do. After all for them it’s just a host of parties and a day of helping out their dear friend who they love – if the situation had been reversed and you were the Bridesmaid or Best Man and were trying to fall pregnant would you have taken into account the wedding you were a part of in 9 months?

Post # 18
Member
3930 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@littlemissmoo: she wasn’t trying to get preggers.  they weren’t using protection and she might have accidentally gotten knocked up. 

however, one thing to keep in mind is that she doesn’t even know if she is pregnant yet.  i think the worrying at this point might be premature, and i think if she is pregnant, your friend is going to need a lot of support, as i’m sure this isn’t an ideal situation for her.

Post # 19
Member
281 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

yeah sorry hun, when two people meet and hit it off like that, they’re not exactly thinking about their friends lives and schedules.  The timing sucks but you don’t have any room to be mad, which I can see you understand.  And it seems like this was just a fun thing and they are neither in love or serious, I just hope it doesn’t spiral into MORE drama for you come the wedding day.  What if she is preggers (it sounds like she’s not sure yet right?) and then they don’t work out?  That’s a bummer, but there isn’t much you can do at this point.  The best you can do it just be there for her and support her in her life choices, like she is supporting you. 🙂

Post # 20
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I don’t think you have the right to be upset – just my opinion though.  Life happens and can’t be put on hold for your wedding – especially for the next 9 months,  They are adults and are responsible for their actions – who knows, maybe they are really happy about this and this is the rest of their lives that they have to think about too.

Post # 21
Member
1364 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

@Mrs. Meowerson: But there’s no difference between actually trying and accidentally falling pregnant in this case. Either way she would have still been due within a week of the date, which is the issue. I think the fact that it was an accident and is irresponsible is icing on the cake. I do however, agree that it’s all speculation at this point and regardless I hope the OP and her FH are able to be supportive through what could be a really difficult time for their friends.

Post # 22
Member
1652 posts
Bumble bee

 I agree with justing waiting until you know for sure.  I know it’s hard not stressing about it, but you really could be stressing over nothing. 

I also understand what you’re feeling.  You’re trying to plan your wedding, and two people who really don’t want to be pregnant right now, could be.  And that could potentially wipe out both your Maid/Matron of Honor and Bridesmaid or Best Man in one shot.  I don’t think you really are looking for your wedding to be the focus for 9 months (as you indicated in your second post).  I think you are more frustrated and sad at the potential unfortunate timing of this all.

No of course you can’t control your Bridal Party.  And if it does turn out to be they’re pregnant, I guess it will at least be an even cut across the Bridal Party.  “Next man (or gal) up”, I suppose.  And don’t be too hard on yourself, for having a selfish feeling when it comes to your wedding.  Happens to the best of us.  Since your brain is focused on it so much, it naturally computes a circumstance to how it impacts this wedding that is consuming your life.

Post # 23
Member
87 posts
Worker bee

Bridesmaid not being present due to labor?  Not the worst thing in the world, and actually more cause for celebration!  I think it would be fun to announce at the reception “WE JUST HEARD FROM … AND ITS A GIRL!” etc….

Life doesn’t wait for weddings, and that’s just part of it.  My husbands grandfather was sick and couldn’t attend the weekend of the wedding (and passed away two days after) and one of his and the groomsmens best friends committed suicide a few months before.  We acknowledged these losses and although we didn’t let it ruin our day, we didn’t have a problem with the groomsmen bringing it up in their speeches, etc.  That’s just what is going to happen when you gather a bunch of people together.  

Although, if you really want to worry about something, I would pray that there won’t be any drama in case their relationship falls through… 

Post # 25
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

I’d be a lot more upset that people I am friends with would be so irresponsible as to bring a kid into the world after a brief fling simply because they couldn’t be bothered to put on a condom. If they couldn’t manage to stop and think about what they were doing to their lives by possibly becoming parents accidentally, then it’s hardly surprising that they wouldn’t be thinking about where they were supposed to be in nine months.

Post # 26
Member
554 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2009

yep, you’re being selfish but may not realise this until you are married and fall pregnant at the time another friend is getting married.  Life moves on. 

9 months is not yours.  Enjoy this time hun with your fiance but don’t get hung up on other people.  Be happy she’s pregnant – it’s wonderful and there’s room in this world to be happy for more than just one thing at a time  🙂

 

Post # 27
Member
37 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

You don’t have the right to be upset and it is selfish to expect everyone to put their lives on hold for 9 months and to expect the next 9 months will be about you and your fiance!

I am sure she didn’t intentionally plan 9 months before your wedding they were going to get prego… and she doesnt even know if she is yet! Figure that out first and then go from there!

Post # 28
Member
2906 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

its not your place bc its not your life… but dont get yourself worked up before you even know for sure. 🙂

Post # 29
Member
391 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

In short, no you do not have a right to be upset. I agree with the consensus of PP that we as brides need to remember that people are allowed to have lives while your wedding/planning are going on.

Post # 30
Member
443 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Yes, you are being selfish.. I’m sure it wasn’t done purposefully to ruin you.

Post # 31
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yes, you are being selfish. She needs your support. This is the same issue I am having. I’m getting married 7 months before my maid of honor. I will be 31 and my Fiance want to start to try and have a fmaily. She wants me to wait till after her wedding.

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