- 4 years ago
- Wedding: January 2016
Hi everyone ! Well, I apologize in advance for this rant, but I just don’t know how to think about this anymore. So, I got engaged in January, and wanted to share my special day with my closest friends, so I chose 5 bridesmaids and 1 maid of honor. My maid of honor has been good, she’s listened to all my crazy wedding related stuff and all that, and has helped set dates for the bachelorette and bridal shower. Of the other 5 bridesmaids, 2 of them have been pretty good and undestandable. But the other 3 have been HORRIBLE. I will call these Bridesmaid or Best Man 4, BM 5 and Bridesmaid or Best Man 6 . So.. anyways.. since january, I wanted to set a date for all of us to meet so I could give them each a beautil handcrafted box I made for them with a “will you be my bridesmaid” gift inside, nail polish, and a beautiful letter I wrote to them. They took a very very long time to make, but I was happy to do it to make sure they know how special they were to me. I wanted to give them the boxes back in april, but was waiting for Bridesmaid or Best Man #5 to come back from Ecuador, where her family lives. I tried to arrange to meet without her but she seemed upset about it when I asked, so I pushed it to august, which is kind of close, since dresses take 3 months, but I wanted her to be happy. I also decided to give the bridesmaids some leeway in color and design; I wanted to make sure they could wear their dresses again after my wedding was over. Finally, MH was able to get us the dresses at 50% discount, since her cousin owns a bridal store in tampa, but this would mean having to arrange for a 3 hour drive together. I would pay for gas and all expenses, and even offered to pay for a hotel for the night, but no one wanted or could stay. I gave them all the flexibility and consideration a bride could possibly give to her bridesmaids, but of course, there had to be drama about the colors anyways. Some wanted the colors that were offered to them and some didnt. Others wanted the colors to repeat, and some didnt. This is prob my fault for giving them options anyways, but the amound of drama was unbelievable…
BM# 4 : So the first time we met to give them the boxes was a sunday in august. They had all confirmed the day before, but BM#4 did not show up. She does this a lot. But whenever she is in trouble or needs a favor she’s really quick to call. but she did not even cancel on me before… she just didnt show up at all.. When I asked her about it, she replied with a “you know the nature of my job…” (she’s a cop) I talked to her and told her this was not an obligation.. while i would love her to be my bridesmaid, if she can’t or doesnt want to (she’s going through a weird situation), she just needs to tell me.. no hard feelings. She told me she really wanted to be there for me and promised to make sure she would show up to the trip to get the dresses, (which we arranged for a month after that initial meeting to make sure it worked for everyone) and to the bachelorette, rhearsal and wedding. So i agreed and it was all good. Well, fast forward to the day of the Tampa trip.. she did the exact same thing ! She dissappeared … I talked to her a few days before and she confirmed, but the night before the trip I texted her again and she saw it (she has read receipt in her iphone) but did not respond. Saturday came and went and I never heard from her.. so.. do I assume she’s out ? THis girl is the one that hurts me the most. She went through a really bad experience with her boyfriend who beat her and I was with her every step of the way, helping her out in anything I possibly could… from picking her up at 3 am in some random place 45 min away, to changing the locks of her apartment so her psychotic bf wouldnt get in. But she seems to like it, since she got back with him anyways. I am terribly hurt that she wont even talk to me about it, or cancel beforehand. Like I don’t even deserve that courtesy…
BM#5… So this is the girl who was in Ecuador… I waited almost 5 months to start the dress shopping process to wait for her.. she confirmed to go to the tampa trip and 3 days before the trip she called me to tell me she couldnt go.. because she was going to Ecuador again a day before the trip. She had just bought the ticket… she wanted to go get a liposuction there late november and come back in JANUARY (5-7 days before the wedding, which mean she would miss every single event except the wedding) I asked her why didnt she book it for a day after the tampa trip and there was really no response other than.. “i thought the prices were going up” (which makes no sense) She specifically said she still wanted to be my bridesmaid so she would give me the measurements that next day and make a deposit to my account with the money so I could order her dress… Of course, she never did, and then contacted me again, told me she would give me the measurements the same day of the tampa trip and about the money… she would pay me back when she came back.. I told her I could not lend her that money because I am not working and have a lot of expenses with the wedding. She then told me if I did not want her as a bridesmaid, then that was my choice but she was avaiable. After I explained again I was just not ABLE to lend her the money, she said she would give me the measurements and her credit card the day of the Tampa trip.. of course.. I never heard from her again.
Bridesmaid or Best Man #6 . Well… I have a hard time trying to figure out what happened here. I met this girl in college and we became amazing friends.. we then got a job in the same firm after graduation and started having problems (after I had already asked her to be my BM) She’s extremely competitive and kept comparing herself to me in every little thing, and would throw rants about how she hated her job tittle and wanted to do what I was doing.. I just kept getting the idea that she didnt like me very much anymore, but never really confronted her about it. In any case, right before the tampa trip, she called me up to tell me she found out I had been talking shit about her at work (completely 100% false and By The Way I quit working there about 4 months ago…) and told me how she didnt feel comfortable going to my weding anymore. When I asked who said it, she of course refused to tell, and when I asked her to at least tell me what I supposedly said, she refused too. So I told her if she didnt trust me enough to at least ask instead of accuse, then I didnt want her at my wedding at all either, and I hung up. So, a 3 year friendship down the hole too !
In the end, the Tampa trip never happened, and I just went with my MH and BM#2 to Miami and ordered their dresses over the phone. BM#3 couldnt go because she had an emergency, but she’s being reallly good about it. I am trying to focus on these good girls.. but it’s hard to think that 50% of your “Friends” are full of crap, and its giving so much extra stress I dont need at all…. I’m so sorry for such a long message… I just need some confirmation that I’m not crazy for being dissapointed on this people.. and for thinking I dont want to deal with any of those 3 girls again at all again.. 🙁 🙁 🙁 Thanks !!!