(Closed) Do I have horrible bridesmaids??? or is it me ?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
397 posts
Helper bee

I’m sorry this is happening to you, but it seems like you’re lucky to find out about 4,5 & 6 this early on. Some bees have bridesmaids back out the week of the wedding.  You’re absolutely not crazy. Try to focus on the people who are there for you and your upcoming WEDDING! Good luck!

Post # 3
9525 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I would drop 4,5 and 6 and call it a day. They dont sound interested and fighting with them about this is not worth the effort. Invite them as guests at most

Post # 4
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

A three hour drive to get a dress seems excessive to me. 

Post # 5
47277 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999


BM#4 did not show up. She does this a lot

I think your mistake was thinking that somehow she would behave differently because you were getting married.

BM#5… was rude to cancel at the last minute, but at least she did notify you. She clearly is not committed to being a bridesmaid if she can’t even extend herself to give you her measurements.

Bridesmaid or Best Man #6 sounds crazy.

Be satisfied that you still have 4 good friends who want to stand up for you, and maybe be a bit more selective in the future re who you consider a friend.

Post # 7
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

Coordinating six different people with varying levels of commitment can be frustrating, as you clearly know. Frequently people ask friends/relatives to be in their bridal party who they know are flakey, lazy, busy, or just uninterested from past experience. This doesn’t change because it’s your wedding. One girl is always flakey, has been in the past, will be in the future. Suprise, this same girl flakes on her bridemaid duty. Another is competitive with you and petty about work. Surprise, she is petty and competitive as a bridesmaid and drops out. The last girl is always out of the country. Surprise is out of the country for most of your wedding stuff.

It doesn’t make them any less wrong and they all should have communicated more honestly from the start but it seems like you knew all of these zebras had stripes beforE you asked them to be in your wedding. If you’re looking for replacements keep that in mind. 


  • This reply was modified 4 years, 5 months ago by  Ambi D.
Post # 9
625 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

gettingmarriedsoon0130:  Sorry, I saw your comment about the drive and the girls being able to purchase full price if they wanted to after I posted. That doesn’t seem unreasonable, unless the dresses were super expensive In the first place.

Post # 10
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

gettingmarriedsoon0130:  The drive isn’t a big deal ๐Ÿ™‚ And obviously not even the point… Just drop those 3 like a bad habit and focus on the ones who are involved. At least it’s now and not right before your wedding. I don’t know if they are necessarily horrible (except for #6) but they don’t really seem committed or like they even care. Don’t let it get you down. 

Post # 11
4689 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I had wonderful BMs (his sisters) and an amazing Maid/Matron of Honor (my bestie). They helped me with all the changes and stress.

Post # 13
40 posts

gettingmarriedsoon0130:  I really feel for you. People on this board fall into different camps when it comes to bridesmaid’s ‘obligations,’ but I’m of the opinion that agreeing to be in someone’s wedding party means agreeing to support the couple and making wedding planning as fun and stress free as possible. As a Bridesmaid or Best Man a few years ago I spent months being dragged around wedding fairs, watching reruns of Don’t Tell the Bride and visiting bridal boutiques and although it wasn’t always what I wanted to do, I loved getting to make my friend happy.

That being said, life sometimes gets in the way. It sucks that 3 of your bridesmaids have let you down so badly. I hope that your wonderful husband to be and remaining maids can help make up for the disappointment!

Post # 14
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think the solution is very clear.  Be very happy that you have 3 normal people in your bridal party,  so keep working with the normal girls.  Drop the other three like a bag of dog poop and focus on  other things in the planning prices.  Looks like the girls 4 5 6 are not worth the headache. 

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