Post # 1
Interested in thoughts on this:
I’m not having a bridal party, but am planning on the day before my wedding (day before = a Saturday) inviting a few girlfriends to get mani/pedis together, and my mom and I had thought that all the ladies could then meet for lunch with my mom and my two aunts.
However, my mom is now saying that it’s impolite not to invite my FH’s sister (FH’s ‘best man’), my Future Mother-In-Law, and my dad’s sister (who I’ve never really spent any time with and don’t consider an aunt, the same woman who said ‘I guess’ when asked if she’s coming to the wedding at all).
I wanted to keep it my girlfriends and close family, and I think my FH should spend the day with his family. We are having a rehearsal dinner (which I did not want to have but apparently have no say in…) later that evening.
OT for a moment: If we don’t have a bridal party, and the wedding starts at 11:30AM the following day, a night-before ‘rehearsal’ dinner is SUCH overkill….UGH. I’d rather my Future Mother-In-Law chip in for something important in the wedding like flowers!
Ok – Am I being picky/selfish, or is it rude not to invite these people? I won’t be offended if it’s rude, but I don’t know since I’ve only ever been to one wedding and never IN one!
Post # 3
i would invite fh’s sister and fmil…it’s just a nice gesture. maybe they’ll decline and opt to spend time with fh instead, but they should at least be invited.
Post # 5
I would say that you should invite the Future Sister-In-Law and Future Mother-In-Law, but not the aunt, just because you want to stay on good terms with your in-laws, and they might decline to come, like @kitzy said, but it’s the gesture that counts.
By the sound of it, your aunt couldn’t care less about this stuff, so I personally wouldn’t bother inviting her. I’m sure she’d be surprised to even be invited.
Post # 6
Unless you really don’t like your Future Mother-In-Law, Future Sister-In-Law, or aunt, I would invite them. They may not even come, but they would probably be flattered to be invited at least.
Post # 7
I agree with the other Bees. I would invite Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law, but not the aunt. Your Future Mother-In-Law and Future Sister-In-Law will probably appreciate the invite (even if they don’t attend), but it doesn’t sound like your aunt would, given her comment about attending your wedding.
Post # 8
I guess I just feel like I’ll be spending so much time with everyone at my rehearsal dinner (no friends coming), the wedding, and even the religious services on the Friday night before, that I thought planning a few hours with girlfriends and the important female relatives would be a special time that I am otherwise not getting. I’d rather not have the day if I can’t spend it with my friends and family.
But I guess it is a gesture. And trust me – if someone else is paying – they’ll come. It was an idea…and I understand the other side of it.
ETA: does anyone think it’s more appropriate just to get my friends together for mani/pedis and not a lunch?
Post # 9
oooo some silent supporters of the “no, it’s your friends” choice! 🙂
Post # 10
I’m split on this. Traditionally, the Future Mother-In-Law would be invited to a lunch like this… but if you keep it casual and under the radar I think that you could do it without offending anyone. I voted for manis/pedis with the girls and then a larger lunch.
Perhaps make sure that your Fiance is doing lunch with Future Mother-In-Law and FSIL; that way they’ll have a wedding related activity and won’t feel left out.
I’m not sure why you need to invite your dad’s sister if you’re not close with her. Again, just don’t advertise your activities to her.
Post # 11
If it were me, I would just invite the friends and family I wanted to invite. It’s your chance to do something with women who are close to you! I also did not have a bridal party (other than a MOH), and I invited my mother and some close female friends to get ready with me before the wedding. It did not cross my mind to also invite my husband’s mother and two sisters.
It seems like it is important to you to spend time with people that you are close with, so don’t feel pressured into bringing more people into it. You will have the rest of your life to be forced into doing things with the in-laws :).
Post # 12
If you want to have something with just your friends, I would stick with mani/pedis only. If you want to have a lunch, then I think you do have to invite FMIL/FSIL. You could do the mani/pedi first and then have a lunch with everyone afterward, like PP mentioned.
Post # 13
I think I’m just inviting my friends/sister for mani-pedis….but nixing any lunch plans. Having a nice lunch with the important women in life would be nice, but if there’s any chance it would be ruined by people I don’t want there it’s not worth it (ruined as in I can’t fully enjoy myself). I think if Future Mother-In-Law is hosting a rehearsal dinner, that should be enough. I don’t dislike my FH’s family, but our moms are completely different people. It would just be a weird lunch because we couldn’t be ourselves.
Oh well – it was an idea!
It’s so frustrating to have to ensure everyone is happy even if it means you aren’t (see rehearsal dinner gripe).