(Closed) Do I have to…?

posted 7 years ago in Family
Post # 3
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I really think you should.  If you want to repair the relationship with her ever, not inviting her to your wedding will really impede that.

Post # 4
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I would, but not expect her to come.  You’re the bigger person in that case. 

Post # 5
10287 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Are your parents paying for your wedding? If they aren’t contributing financially then they really have no say in who is invited. I understand them wanting her there but if she doesn’t support you, she has no need to be there.

Post # 7
18637 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

I would invite her and if she comes, have a friend keep an eye out if she starts to bother you to keep her away from you.

Post # 8
5654 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I say that whether you’re paying or they’re paying that the right, bigger, and attempt to possibly reconcile sometime in your lives thing to do is invite her.

If she doesn’t come then it’s to nobody’s fault but her own..

And if she does come & doesn’t enjoy herself then it’s to nobody’s fault but her own…

You have then done your part in what you can do and you cannot be blames for any ill feelings she may have or continue to hold.

You not inviting her is holding on to your own pride and entitlement just as is her not coming or even morseo not coming straight to you to talk about it. Either way it’s the same thing and then you’re just as much at fault as she is.

Send her a late Save the Date (If you have any left) and invite her with the expectancy that she come.. but awareness that she may not.

I would count her as a yes and have a place for her regardless of what she chooses or RSVPs SO that if last minute she decides to make “an appearance” she still will have no leverage to point figures at you… b/c you were fully ready for her to join in the celebrations.

This way… no matter what she does/doesn’t do you have covered ALL of your bases and she’s the only one able to stand as the fool.

Post # 9
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I think you should invite her. This way you will know that you gave her a chance. If she says no, then thats her loss.

Post # 11
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

I think it depends on the circumstances.   Is she someone who will show up and “make trouble”, say hateful things to you, or cause drama on your wedding day?  If yes, then I would stick to your guns and not invite  her.

If that’s not the case, and you two are estranged but she can show up and behave herself (as an adult) then you should invite her.

I am speaking as someone who felt strongly that I couldn’t NOT invite my mom.  The idea of not inviting my mom was inconceivable to me, and well, she came, behaved like a 12 year old, and did her best to ruin my wedding.  Whiile she didn’t succeed, she did “taint” the day with her horrible antics and I wish I hadn’t invited her!

So yeah, it depends on the whole relationship and your sister and how she will conduct herself, IMO.

Post # 12
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2011

invite her.. then its on her to make the next move. 

Post # 13
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I’d invite her .. and that way when/if she doesn’t show you’ve done your best. do NOT stress too much about this … 

Post # 14
2657 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

U might as well send one to her.If she comes great,if not then at least u tried.

Post # 15
7689 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I agree with both @MrsSaltWaterTaffy: and @runsyellowlites:

Be the bigger person your parents want you to be, and you won’t ever feel like you didn’t do your part to make amends-and who knows she may surprise you.  And, if you are worried that she may come and make a scene, have your friends keep an eye on her.  Best of Luck.

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