Post # 1
Member
42 posts
Newbee
Looking for fellow bee’s thoughts…
I haven’t talked to my sister in 2 1/2 years. I have invited her to be a party of my bridal party & her reply in front of my mom was “I’ll think about it”. She then told my cousi/matron of honor… “no”. She never could even come to me & tell me her final answer. I have heard she is jealous and or she dislikes my fiance.
My parents say I must invite her… but why do I want someone that isn’t going to be happy for us on our day present? I’m so torn…. As a side note… we mailed the save the dates and she didn’t get one.
HELP! Thanks!!
Post # 3
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I really think you should. If you want to repair the relationship with her ever, not inviting her to your wedding will really impede that.
Post # 4
Member
2161 posts
Buzzing bee
I would, but not expect her to come. You’re the bigger person in that case.
Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
Are your parents paying for your wedding? If they aren’t contributing financially then they really have no say in who is invited. I understand them wanting her there but if she doesn’t support you, she has no need to be there.
Post # 6
Member
42 posts
Newbee
She was the one that started this war… I have tried several times to mend things, but she will not budge… My family doesn’t understand what is wrong with her… She is three years younger than me. You wouldn’t believe she is a 27 year old woman… it is crazy… My parents gave us a chunk of money to use towards the wedding.
I think about her a lot and it just really frustrates me that she will not grow up.
Post # 7
Hostess
18644 posts
Honey Beekeeper
I would invite her and if she comes, have a friend keep an eye out if she starts to bother you to keep her away from you.
Post # 8
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
I say that whether you’re paying or they’re paying that the right, bigger, and attempt to possibly reconcile sometime in your lives thing to do is invite her.
If she doesn’t come then it’s to nobody’s fault but her own..
And if she does come & doesn’t enjoy herself then it’s to nobody’s fault but her own…
You have then done your part in what you can do and you cannot be blames for any ill feelings she may have or continue to hold.
You not inviting her is holding on to your own pride and entitlement just as is her not coming or even morseo not coming straight to you to talk about it. Either way it’s the same thing and then you’re just as much at fault as she is.
Send her a late Save the Date (If you have any left) and invite her with the expectancy that she come.. but awareness that she may not.
I would count her as a yes and have a place for her regardless of what she chooses or RSVPs SO that if last minute she decides to make “an appearance” she still will have no leverage to point figures at you… b/c you were fully ready for her to join in the celebrations.
This way… no matter what she does/doesn’t do you have covered ALL of your bases and she’s the only one able to stand as the fool.
Post # 9
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
I think you should invite her. This way you will know that you gave her a chance. If she says no, then thats her loss.
Post # 10
Member
21 posts
Newbee
@runsyellowlites: <–what she said!
Post # 11
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
I think it depends on the circumstances. Is she someone who will show up and “make trouble”, say hateful things to you, or cause drama on your wedding day? If yes, then I would stick to your guns and not invite her.
If that’s not the case, and you two are estranged but she can show up and behave herself (as an adult) then you should invite her.
I am speaking as someone who felt strongly that I couldn’t NOT invite my mom. The idea of not inviting my mom was inconceivable to me, and well, she came, behaved like a 12 year old, and did her best to ruin my wedding. Whiile she didn’t succeed, she did “taint” the day with her horrible antics and I wish I hadn’t invited her!
So yeah, it depends on the whole relationship and your sister and how she will conduct herself, IMO.
Post # 12
Member
5110 posts
Bee Keeper
invite her.. then its on her to make the next move.
Post # 13
Member
6015 posts
Bee Keeper
I’d invite her .. and that way when/if she doesn’t show you’ve done your best. do NOT stress too much about this …
Post # 14
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee
U might as well send one to her.If she comes great,if not then at least u tried.
Post # 15
Member
7694 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
I agree with both @MrsSaltWaterTaffy: and @runsyellowlites:
Be the bigger person your parents want you to be, and you won’t ever feel like you didn’t do your part to make amends-and who knows she may surprise you. And, if you are worried that she may come and make a scene, have your friends keep an eye on her. Best of Luck.
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