(Closed) Do I HAVE to?

posted 5 years ago in Reception
Post # 3
Member
4693 posts
Honey bee

That’s definitely something you can skip if you’d like, though I think the dance is a lot sweeter and more emotional when you’re the one in it. But if you truly don’t want to do it, skip it.  

Post # 4
Member
220 posts
Helper bee

I don’t think your guests will miss them, or even notice necessarily.  Just be sure it wouldn’t devastate your parents to skip it.

Post # 5
Member
2305 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

You don’t HAVE to do anything. All of those ‘tradtions’ are optional. And if you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Simply don’t talk about the dances to anyone, and on the day of if anyone goes “When are the dances?” just say you decided not to do them. 

Post # 6
Member
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

We’re skipping them, but it’s not important to our families.  Since your family wants to include the dances, what about playing one song (or part of a song) and doing the father/daughter and mother/son at the same time?  You can probably get it done in under 2 minutes.

Post # 7
Member
890 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I wish i even had the option! lol  Except my family is the traditional people lol and since our wedding is so NOT traditional i told them i would keep this one thing for them so they don’t get on me about that too lol. 😀  I say if you dont want it DONT! lol 

Post # 8
Member
1562 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Even if they aren’t highlighted dances, will you be doing them as part of regular dances anyways?  I went to one wedding where the bride and groom had their dance, and then danced with all the parents anyways, and people were commenting that it was nice they made the time. 

Post # 9
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

You don’t HAVE to- but how do your dad and FMIL feel about it? Would they miss it?

If you keep the songs short, which is recommended anyway, both should take maybe 7 minutes.

Post # 10
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Skip if you’d like but I’d honestly ask your father and FMIL what they want to do. I know for my dad and FI’s mom, that is something they have really looked forward to doing one day and would be upset not to have that opportunity. I’d never take that away from my dad.  I also am really looking forward to it though but even if I wasn’t, I’d still do it for him.  FI isn’t keen on dancing period and mentioned not wanting to do it but he’s still going to because he knows his mom wants to.

Post # 11
Member
903 posts
Busy bee

No, you dont have to do anything! Hell, I don’t even think we’ll have dancing at all.

Post # 12
Member
4282 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@MrsWBS:  I second this – if it’s really important to your dad and FMIL, then I would go for it. I find them sweet, but even if some guests are bored, it’s only 3-4 minutes out of their life and it might be the world to the parents.  

Post # 13
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I’m also skipping them. We are doing a first dance for two minutes then cutting all the rest out. Unless one of our parents really object we don’t the need to do these things. I think it depends on the couples, some people are extra sentimental and it means a lot to them, other people like myself could care freaking less and think they are a waste of time.

I am ok about watching them, although sometimes I do admit I get annoyed/bored when people have multiple dances that take up a ton of time and that really I have no interest in watching. I think as long as people edit them it’s ok.

Post # 14
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I doubt your guests will miss it.

We did it all together to shorten it a little bit, and I liked the quiet moment just to hang out with my dad.

I’d check if it’s important to your dad though.  At DH’s sister’s wedding there was a venue issue that they ended up not being able to play any of their own music.  They took off right after the reception and we went back to the hotel with DH’s parents.  His dad played the song he’d picked out to dance with his daughter, and got a little misty that he didn’t get the chance.  Absolutely broke my heart.

Post # 15
Member
7990 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

We did a combo father/daughter and mother/son dance. Neither of us really wanted to, but it was important to our parents.

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