(Closed) Do I have to allow our guests to invite a guest of their own?!

posted 7 years ago in Money
Post # 3
Member
3000 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

If you are having a smaller wedding on a tight budget, no one HAS to bring a date if you don’t want them to.

On the invite, just say something like:

“We have reserved 1 seat in your name, please select your meal choice:…” or something.

Post # 5
Member
1144 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I’m doing the same thing. We have about 100 people on our list. I just sent out my save the dates for our December Reception (we are getting married Nov 30th destination then having a formal reception Dec 9th) anyways on the address label for the save the dates I put the person’s name invited and + 1, +2, etc depending on if I was inviting there husband or SO plus any kids. I am however only inviting family members children our friends children are not invited do to the overwhelming amount of money that would cost most of them have 3+ kids.

Post # 6
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

We told our friends, if you aren’t dating someone 1 year in advance, they can’t come. We paid for the wedding ourselves, so we had to save where we could. And its not like they wouldn’t konw pretty much everyone else at the wedding, we have been friends with the same people for years.  I only allowed 1 person with a plus one, because she was coming from an hour away and she wouldn’t know anyone else at the wedding (we met her on the cruise we got engaged on). People will understand

Post # 7
Member
6572 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2010

As long as your consistent and don’t let some people bring random plus 1’s and not others, I think it’s fine. We had the rule that you had to be in a serious relationship (living with someone or engaged) in order to bring your date. No exceptions.

Be aware that people will probably call and ask if they can bring a date, and even offer to pay. We had a small wedding, so we just told them that there wasn’t room at the venue, and it wasn’t about the money.

Post # 8
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

As a “single girl” for so many years, (I simply refused to settle for Mr. Not-Right;) now that it’s my turn to have a wedding, my conscious is bothering me a little! I have been to several weddings that didn’t allow “plus ones” and I’m going to be honest, it did kind of suck. Evertone now KNOWS you are single (and in my case, in your 30s) and while most of the time I knew lots of people, I still felt a little embarrassed. So what I decided to do is, as people decline attendance (there will always be some) I will personally call the “singles” and explain that I wasn’t sure I could accomodate extra guests due to space, but some spots have opened up so if they want to bring a guest they may, just call me and let me know. Of course, you have to be fair, so if you have 20 singles, you can’t only allow a few to bring guests, but if you wait until enough people decline to cover the singles, you really might make the wedding that much more enjoyable for some of your guests!

Post # 9
Member
341 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Unless you have an unlimited budget, then the answer is no. It is not bad or rude. I am only giving +1’s to friends and family that are on a recognized relationship when I send out invites. I dont want to go overbudget for someone I dont even know.

Post # 10
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

your wedding so invite who u want., hehe

Post # 11
Member
4485 posts
Honey bee

Absolutely not. You have the final say in who makes the cut and who doesn’t. Most couples don;t allow random strangers to attend and their guests have a blast anyway. If someone honestly can not enjoy themselves and socialize with the other guests in attendance, they can decline the invite and stay home.

Post # 12
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Ember78: I would like to point out that just because a friend or family member is engaged or in a LTR doesn’t mean that their partner isn’t a stranger. My cousin from Texas has been with her boyfriend for 3 years but no one in my family has met him– so he’s a “stranger” to us– Just like a friend who has a “new boyfried” would be to us. Of course, in the end, the B&G need to do what works best for them. I just thought your comment was a little harsh…

Post # 13
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It definitely comes down to what works for you and your budget.  For our wedding, we not only had budget concerns but also our venue would only hold so many people.  My husband’s family is very large and were mostly all local to the wedding.  Our rule ended up being no dates for family that weren’t serious (engaged, etc) since they were there with other family members.  Since we didn’t have very many friends invited we allowed our friends a plus one.  I was actually surprised to see that the majority of our friends who were not dating just came stag.  Waiting for the RSVPs were a little stressful to see where we’d fall but everything worked out well.

Post # 14
Member
629 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

@Wiscowhitney: I do like the idea of letting friends (who may not know many other folks) bring a date. Great idea! I remember going to a wedding of a close co-worker and I didn’t know a soul except the bride. Of course I did enjoy myself, but at the time I had just started seeing my boyfriend, and it would have been so much more fun if he had been able to come. I cut out early (after an appropriate time of course) and met him for drinks!

Post # 15
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

if its only a handful i don’t see the harm in offering the choice of +1, they might not even take you up on it and if they do then you know they will be comfortable and enjoy the wedding

Post # 16
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

It’s not bad.  We only gave & guest to people who were in relationships, or out of towners.  They understand because of space constraints.  If there were going to be other people at the wedding that I knew, then I wouldnt feel the need to bring a +1. 

On the wedding invites, I just addressed it to the person’s name, although I did have a couple people respond with an extra person that clearly wasn’t invited :S  It might happen.

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