(Closed) Do I Have To Be A BITCH?!?!?!

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
9950 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

 Hi @2ndbest:  I see this is your DEBUT Post here on WBee, so a BIG Welcome to “the Hive”

Yikes… that is quite the first impression you’ve imparted, lol

Here are some tips you might find helpful … in determing the status of your relationship…

1- Determine what it is you want out of life (besides JUST Getting Married) and develop a LIFE PLAN then have a sit heart to heart with your guy to get his feedback / LIFE PLAN

2- As other Bees have said, you might want to check out the WAITING BOARD…

3- Lots of great resources over there… be sure and check out Mr Bee’s Plan (it is a sticky)

4- If you are talking about Marriage a lot with your guy, you might want to pull back on that (nagging never works) in which case you’ll want to join the current Shut-It Up Pact group

5- You also might want to check out some great Self Help Books that can help you understand your relationship better… in particular how men think.  Very EMPOWERING.. written for women by well known men.

In this particular situation I would think that these 3 might be helpful:

Dr Phil’s – Love Smart ~ Find The One You Want – Fix the one you got

(Has a great chapter on moving a man from Dating to Marriage)

and the 2 books by Steve Harvey:

Act Like a Lady ~ Think Like a Man

Straight Talk, No Chaser

Hope this helps,

 

 

Post # 33
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@2ndbest:  WOAHHHH, someone sounds bitter. I hate to be blunt here, but you don’t sound like a very good friend at all nor do you sound sincerely happy for any of these people.

If your SO is so great, then there is no rush to the alter. Be happy and content in the here and now. Great, longterm marriages all take very different roads in getting there.

Post # 34
Member
421 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

View original reply
@s2bmrscook:  +1. Not very kind and caring at all IMO. 

Post # 35
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

stop focusing on other people’s relationships and start enjoying your own! Every relationship moves at its own pace. Just because you are not married now does not mean you are never going to be married. RELAX and APPRECIATE what you have. 

Post # 36
Member
2447 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Ahahaha, favorite first post ever BITCHES!!!

Post # 37
Member
1460 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Post # 38
Member
678 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@2ndbest: I’ve been in your shoes (7 years together before engagement, and we weren’t super young when we met- 23 and 25). Waiting was HARD- it got to the point where I dreaded getting phone calls from friends we hadn’t seen in a while because they all seemed to have “news” about their lives- which meant yet another couple passing us by, getting married or having kids.

There were some tense moments over those years, but looking back I am so glad I just held it together. I understand the need to vent- but please don’t do anything you might regret later! These days are tough but they will pass too. 

View original reply
@atlbride2013:  +1

Post # 39
Member
2571 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

PPs have given you some good advice, but all I will say is this: I was where you were once. I had bitter and angry moments too. But things did turn around, and I got married (at 30 so I am older than lots of Bees). One thing I did not have to regret on my wedding day was not being happy for others on their days. My day had come (Trust me – there were moments that I resigned myself to spinsterhood!), and all those people I was happy for were happy for me in return. Your day WILL come – if you want marriage badly enough, it will happen w/out your having to pretend to be a “bitch.” Just get on a more positive track, b/c you will not get anywhere good with such a negative outlook.

Post # 40
Member
1427 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - parent\'s backyard

uh yeah, you should try being horrible to him. great idea, I’m sure that’ll work out real well. 

Post # 41
Member
429 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Have you told him you want to get married? Men need to be told things some times.  Hints are never enough!

Post # 42
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

View original reply
@aggie2010:  

“And seriously stop calling everyone a bitch or whore.

Just enjoy being together. Marriage is cool, but it’s not all that different from a long-term relationship”

+10000


View original reply
@2ndbest:  I seriously hope that this isn’t how you are all the time, otherwise I think we know what the problem is already. It sounds like you have a great relationship, why push marriage? Like some pp said, just enjoy your relationship. There isn’t that much difference between a long time committed relationship, and a marriage. Unless it’s the ring you’re after… which I kind of think it is, considering you said “than i get a big ass ring“. 


I should warn you now, that’s the wrong mentality to have, and could break your relationship down the line. 

Post # 43
Member
109 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@2ndbest:  I have always found it intersting when people claim to love the person their with, but say that their life together hasn’t started yet. To me, if you are in a committed relationship and are planning a future together, you are already spending your life together. I think you’re being obsessive because you feel somewhat left out, which is totally understandable, but I would challenge you to figure out what is the real problem. Why is a committed, happy relationship not enough for you? What would be different, aside from throwing a wedding, if you were married? I’m not saying you should settle on dating forever, but what’s the real rush? Are you being pressured by seeing others? 

I think everyone goes through this in some way, but don’t be a bitch to the person you love just because you aren’t engaged. That doesn’t sound like a relationship I would want to be in. Also, keep in mind that even though so many people are getting married, many of them will likely be divorced within their lifetime. Do you think you should be comparing your relationship with theirs knowing that?

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