(Closed) Do I Have To Be A BITCH?!?!?!

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 64
Member
560 posts
Busy bee

@2ndbest:  I haven’t read all of this but my best guess would be that being a bitch would have the opposite effect. Maybe you could just be 24 and live your life? 🙂

Post # 65
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

These boards in my opinion are a good way to vent… I am sure that woman was promiscuous. Sometimes your fellow bees get obsessed with etiquette rather than the actual issue at hand…

I have two close friends in this situation. Both of them are pretty, intelligent, have jobs and education, no kids, and the list goes on. One was engaged before (a whirlwind relationship that did not last) and the other was in a relationship since high school with a break in between (no engagement). Both are now single again. 

I have been married before and I am going to be again. I have a child from the first marriage. On paper, I don’t think I would sound as great as them. For some reason they have not walked down the aisle. I have had more dating experiences and I have learned from my mistakes. I am not sure what you personally mean by becoming a bitch, but you should be assertive.

I think that they both are not assertive enough in their relationships. I think that they have allowed their exes to get away with certain things and accepted certain behaviors in an effort to maintain a relationship. I am by no means a bitch. I do say what I mean and mean what I say. If I say I am not going to put up with X, Y, and Z, I will not. I say what I want specifically. I also do not deal with men who do not want the same things that I do in the long term.

I also know that men say things sometimes just because they think that is what we want to hear. Is he showing you through his actions what he wants for the future? Does he want to get married? You must be on the same page in order for this to happen. As wonderful as he is, are you willing to let him go if he does not want these things? If marriage is a deal breaker for you, are you going to continue to be miserable and wait around?

My one friend was with her now ex for a decade with no proposal and finally had to walk away… I hope that you get what you want. I also would advise against comparing your relationship to others. You are on the outside looking in, therefore, you only know so much information. All that glitters is not gold; some couples are not as happy as they seem. Good luck to you!

 

Post # 66
Member
7646 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@2ndbest:  Lol are you for real? I have my doubts, but if you are I think I and the community understands why you haven’t been proposed to yet. You have a lot of growing up to do, such as cleaning up your language, being nicer to people in your real life, and getting over your jealous and this self righteous worth. Good luck.

Post # 70
Member
401 posts
Helper bee

@2ndbest: 

 

If your boyfriend is showering you with gifts, has the perfect family, and you are compatible with him…you must be doing something right. Don’t ruin a good thing with something you THINK will be better. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side….and you can’t force a guy to do what he doesn’t want to do. They are very simple creatures…when they feel like it is the right time, they propose! No trickery or persuading needed.

 

I’m in a 9 yr relationship myself and am still waiting, so I know how hard it is, but I also know what the wrong way to go about it would be……be patient and find a hobby.

 

 

 

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